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M EMOIR 



MARY WH ITALL 



HER GRANDDAUGHTER 
R. N. T. 



" Whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever 
things are of good report ; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, 
think on these things." — Phil. iv. 8. 



PHILADELPHIA 

PRINTED FOR THE FAMILY 
l88 5 



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.W5314M4 



GRANT & FAIRRS, 
PHILADELPHIA 



MARY WHITALL. 



CHAPTER I. 

1803-1821. 



THE most beautiful of all my memories of 
the past, and the one I should most wish 
to place before my children, is that of my 
beloved grandmother, Mary Whitall. Her 
waving auburn hair under her snowy cap, the 
soft, pink color in her cheeks, her loving, sym- 
pathetic glance, and bright, sweet smile, form a 
picture which is precious to my heart, and 
which must be dear to all who came within the 
sphere of her influence. Her presence was an 
inspiration to all that is true and gracious in 
womanhood, and I would that the example of 
her pure and lovely life might have its effect 
upon her great-grandchildren, as well as upon 
my own generation. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 



Our grandmother's birth-place was the farm 
of Park Plain, near Woodbury, N. J. This 
had been purchased by her great-great-grand- 
father, John Tatum, in 1689, and enclosed 
within its limits the remains of a large deer 
park, from which it received its name. The 
family at one time lost possession of it, but it 
was repurchased by her grandfather, who also 
bore the name of John. He was a man of 
marked honesty and uprightness, and a valued 
minister among Friends. His first wife, Sarah 
Ward, our grandmother's grandmother, was a 
woman of dignity of character and valuable 
religious experience. She died in 1778, at the 
age of forty-five, and her husband has left on 
record a quaintly-written tribute to her worth. 
He says, she had a ''love of the truth when 
she was young and in the bloom of life," and 
that it "abated not as she grew in years." 
* * * "She had a sensible feeling, as she 
sat in meetings, as to the state of them, and 
especially of the ministry ;" * * * "a lively 
sense from whence it flowed, and sometimes 
dropped hints and remarks that were instruct- 
ive to some in that station." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 3 

Although this John Tatum began life a poor 
boy, by his industry and ability he accumulated 
what was, at that time, considered a large 
fortune which, at his death in 1821, was divided 
among his six children. To his eldest son, 
John, who was born in 1767, he gave the farm 
of Park Plain. This son inherited his father's 
high principle and integrity of character. It 
was said of him by a noted lawyer in his 
section of the country, that " no man south of 
the Assanpink river was better known or 
more highly respected than John Tatum." On 
1 2th month, 16th, 1794, he was married to 
Hannah Rogers, daughter of William and 
Grace Rogers, influential Friends and elders 
of Evesham meeting, N. J. Hannah Rogers 
Tatum was a woman of religious experience 
and unselfish life, who early taught her children 
to love the Lord, and walk in His ways. She 
had two sisters, Grace Wills and Ann Scatter- 
good, and it was said of them that " three such 
sisters as Grace Wills, Hannah Tatum and 
Ann Scattergood, would ne'er be seen again." 
She was the mother of nine children, four of 
whom died in infancy. Our grandmother,. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 



born 3d month, 28th, 1803, was the sixth child 
and only surviving daughter. Two older and 
two younger brothers grew up with " our 
Molly," as they fondly called her, in the old 
homestead. 

Our grandmother always spoke of her birth- 
place with much affection, and her early letters 
reveal the enjoyment she found in the simple, 
rural life passed there. The farm contained 
three hundred and thirty-three acres. In one 
part of it, the ditch and fence of the old deer 
park, from which it was named, were still 
visible. Around the house, stiff lombardy pop- 
lars and large sycamore and weeping-willow 
trees cast a pleasant shade, while numerous 
bushes of sweet roses added to its attractions. 
Behind the house was a large garden with 
fruits and vegetables, and old-fashioned peren- 
nial flowers. 

The house was of brick. The date of its 
erection, 1753, with the initials of the original 
owners, M. and M. W., was put in black 
bricks in one gable. In the large old-fashioned 
parlor, with rooms opening from it on all sides, 
the family gathered in the evenings, in front of 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 5 

the open fireplace, or sat around the candle- 
stand with their books and work. The rooms 
up stairs were mostly small, each having its 
open fireplace. One of these had tiles across 
the top, and little closets in odd places, 
which were a never-failing source of wonder 
and interest in after years to the various 
children that came to enjoy the bounteous 
hospitality of Park Plain. Our grandmothers 
room faced the south, and from its windows 
she could see across the creek that bounded 
one side of Park Plain, to another piece of 
property beyond, owned by her father. This 
place was diversified by hill and dale, and 
covered with forest trees, and frequent mention 
is made in her letters of the beauty of this land- 
scape, as she saw it varied by the warm growth 
of summer, the tints of autumn, or the winter 
snows. 

The first reminiscence we have of our 
grandmother is from an aged friend, who told 
of a visit to Park Plain, and of the little Mary 
who came " bouncing in " with rosy cheeks and 
flying curls, a bright picture of health and 
spirits. This precious little daughter was care- 



6 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

fully trained as a Friend's child. She was 
dressed in plain colors, and obliged to wear a 
bonnet made in conformity to the style of older 
Friends. The following story about her youth- 
ful rebellion against this bonnet was always 
heard by her grandchildren with mischievous 
delight and wonder, to think that their perfect 
" Grandma" ever did anything wrong. One 
day, when quite a little girl, she was crossing 
the bridge over Woodbury creek on her way 
to school, when her dislike to her bonnet 
grew so strong that she took it off and kicked 
it ^before her. The deed weighed heavily 
on her conscience, and, as she was returning 
home in the dusk of evening, she was 
startled, upon reaching the middle of the 
bridge, to see a dark shadow at a little distance 
up the creek. This, to her excited imagination, 
assumed the appearance of a figure coming 
toward her, with finger uplifted, in solemn 
warning. Filled with terror at what she felt 
a deserved rebuke, she ran home as fast as her 
trembling limbs could carry her, resolved, 
henceforth, to wear her bonnet in full submis- 
sion. As she grew older, and could better 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. J 

understand the reasons for her plain dress, her 
childish objections to it passed away, and she 
quietly settled down to the simplicity in which 
she was educated, and never afterward departed 
from the style of dress peculiar to Friends. 
I remember, when a child, looking at her 
pretty complexion, and asking her if she never 
wore pink ribbons when she was young, and 
the smile in her eyes as she shook her head 
conveyed at the same time a sweet toleration 
and a gentle rebuke. 

At an early age she was sent to Westtown 
boarding school. Here were formed several 
warm friendships with girls of her own age, 
which lasted throughout their lives. Among 
these were Catherine Wistar, afterward Cathe- 
rine Evans, and Lydia Lippincott, afterward 
Lydia L. Scull, who were especially beloved. 
With these friends she kept up a correspond- 
ence until all were married and living in Phila- 
delphia, when letters were exchanged for loving 
visits and helpful ministrations. In her early 
letters to them is 'often shown the liveliness 
and keen appreciation of fun which, in after 
years, lent an added charm to her intercourse 



8 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

with her grandchildren, and gave a spicy bright- 
ness to her correspondence. In one gay school- 
girl letter, written when she was about fourteen, 
she exclaims : 

"Oh, Lid, I wish I was with you a few minutes to 
see some of your pranks, and to be the head-fellow at 
introducing some new scheme for mischief The 
people used to say we would feel sorry for cutting up 
so, after we got home ; but I have not felt the least 
sorry yet." 

Lively and buoyant as were her spirits, it 
was not by such moods that her friends chiefly 
remembered her. Her loveliness of character 
was noticed by all. In speaking of their 
boarding-school life, one of her friends used 
frequently to mention, that when her school- 
mates indulged in their favorite amusement of 
forming ideal characters from the different 
characteristics of their acquaintances, they 
always selected " Mary Tatum's disposition." 
Although gifted by nature with much that was 
sweet and attractive, it was not to natural 
grace alone that her loveliness could be 
attributed. She was trained in the "nurture 
and admonition of the Lord," and as she grew 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 9 

toward womanhood took with loving submis- 
sion the place of a follower of her dear 
Redeemer. From her earliest years a strong 
sense of duty controlled all her actions, and 
throughout her life she was an exemplification 
of her favorite saying, " He who gathers 
the flowers of pleasure in the field of duty, 
may gather them all the day long." The 
right thing always seemed the pleasant thing 
to her. 

Her tender, sympathetic heart, and her 
bright, helpful spirit, strong with hope and 
courage, made her an invaluable friend, and 
her letters show that these traits, so prominent 
in her later years, displayed themselves in her 
girlhood to those about her. She invariably 
sought the highest that was within her reach. 
The loneliness and homely pursuits of country 
life never dulled her intellectual tastes, nor 
narrowed her interests. Although she had the 
gift of winning hearts, she never descended in 
order to please, and her influence, as in later 
life, was carefully exerted to elevate all those 
with whom she had intercourse. The favorite 
text that her grandchildren so often heard from 



10 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

her lips must have early become the rule of 
her life ; for which of us can hear the words, 
"Whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever 
things are lovely, whatsoever things are of 
good report, if there be any virtue, and if there 
be any praise, think on these things," without 
a vision of the sweet face of her later years, on 
which was written the record of a lifetime of 
pure and lovely thoughts. One of her marked 
characteristics was an unwillingness to speak 
against others, and this text was often quoted 
as a gentle rebuke when her children or 
grandchildren were tempted to transgress in 
this respect. Humility was also a striking 
feature of her character, and her earliest 
correspondence shows how weak and faulty 
she felt herself to be, and how ready she was 
to admire and appreciate others. 

Her school life at Westtown was full of 
enjoyment to her ; but the affectionate letters 
frequently received from Park Plain show how 
much her parents missed their only daughter. 
These letters breathe an earnest desire for her 
spiritual welfare and intellectual improvement, 
and reveal the strong interest her parents felt 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. I I 

in all her youthful friendships. They urged 
her to be kind and attentive to all her com- 
panions, especially toward the new pupils, but 
to be very careful in selecting her intimate 
friends. Her younger brother, Joseph, who 
was at Westtown at the same time with her, 
was frequently commended to her sisterly care. 
Often the letters closed with a fond message 
from " little Brother William" to "Sister 
Mary." Boxes of apples, cherries, and many 
other good things from the farm were frequently 
sent her, and also various pieces of sewing 
and fancy work, for she was expected to 
be industrious during her absence, and make 
presents for her aunts and brothers, as well as 
a shirt for her father. The following extract is 
from a letter from their mother, dated 2, 23, 
1817 : 

" I feel sometimes as if I wanted much to see you 
both and converse with you, but as that can't be, I 
endeavor to suppress it, desiring that you may be 
good children, kind and affectionate to one another, 
and to those who have the care of you, being always 
ready to render any acts of kindness that may be in 
your power. Strive rightly to improve the present 



12 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

opportunity in that way which will produce comfort 
and satisfaction at the moment, and be a lasting advan- 
tage in the future. This will also add much to our 
comfort, and make up for the privation we sustain in 
your absence. 

"It is pleasant to understand, dear Mary, that Cathe- 
rine Wistar is among thy most intimate friends, be- 
lieving, with thee, that she has a sweet, innocent mind. 
Tell her we accept her kind remembrance of us, also 
that of the other girls thou mentioned, and offer my 
affectionate love to all of them. 

"Thy little brother, William, came in just now, and 
said : ' Give my love to Brother Joseph and Sister 
Mary,' and gave me two kisses for you. I must con- 
clude in affectionate love to thyself and dear Joseph, 
in which father joins me. 

" Thy affectionate mother, 

"Hannah Tatum." 

When her parents, in their anxiety to have 
her with them again, were considering the advi- 
sability of removing her from school, the follow- 
ing note was received from Hannah Whitall, 
whose husband, Joseph Whitall, was, at that 
time, Superintendent of Westtown : 

" With respect to your dear children, it is cause of 
comfort to my mind that I can give a good account of 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. I 3 

them. Dear Mary in particular, is, I trust, increasing 
in stability, and, her teachers think, very attentive to 
her studies and improving cleverly. On consulting 
with the one whose care she is most under, I find 
she thinks that a few months over her year would be 
likely to be of considerable advantage to her, so that 
if thou canst spare her a little longer, and it con- 
tinues to be her desire to stay, I think we can 
encourage it." 

Consent was obtained to her remaining a 
short time longer, and on 6th month, 23d, 
1 81 7, her father wrote to her as follows : 

" It is pleasant to us to find thou art so far willing 
to abide our judgment about leaving school, but why 
not stay one month without staying three ? Be very 
industrious and circumspect ; be careful respecting thy 
intimates ; choose well, and then be steadfast in thy 
friendship ; but in order that this may be the case, 
an acquaintance and previous knowledge will be 
necessary. Don't have many intimates, but endeavor 
to be wise in thy choice ; herein is much importance. 
Is it not time for thee to be among the best scholars 
in school — best and most forward in thy learning? I 
want thee very much to be a thoughtful, prudent, 
good child, and it would not hurt my feelings if it 
could be said e'er thou dost leave the school that thou 



14 MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 

wert the best scholar in it. Catherine Wistar must 
help thee. Assist each other in everything that is 
good, that is truly lovely. Tell thy affectionate father 
all about these things. Be mindful of thy brother." 

On her return from Westtown, our grand- 
mother entered with good will into the busy, 
domestic life of her home. Her parents enter- 
tained a great deal of company. An extract 
from one of her mother s letters, written to her 
while at Westtown, and containing a description 
of the quarterly meeting held at Woodbury, 
gives some idea of the hospitality which they 
constantly exercised : 

" Thy father being very unwell on fourth day, we 
had but three to dine with us on that day, and eight 
to lodge. Thy father was better on fifth day, and went 
to meeting, which held very late. We had a pretty 
large company to dine with us. Ten lodged with 
us on fifth day night. We had some to lodge 
with us on sixth day night, but were not crowded at 
any time." 

Friends from a distance, traveling from one 
meeting to another, often remained for a time 
at Park Plain. In this way they were privileged 
to entertain many of superior education and 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 5 

abilities, who had traveled much, and who 
were distinguished for their piety and useful- 
ness. Such visitors as these were keenly 
appreciated, and could not fail to have a 
refining and cultivating effect on the eager 
young minds at Park Plain. There were many 
other visitors from Philadelphia and the 
adjacent towns, and much intercourse was had 
with the best social circle in Woodbury. 
Among their neighbors was the family of John 
S. Whitall, whose son, John M. Whitall, after- 
ward married our grandmother. His two 
sisters, Hannah and Sarah, early became her 
friends. Their noble characters, sweet natures, 
and fine intellectual gifts, are still remembered 
by those who had the privilege of being edu- 
cated in the successful school which they after- 
ward established in Philadelphia. 

In order to secure a time of leisure, our 
grandmother would rise early to perform her 
many duties, and find opportunity for intellect- 
ual improvement and quiet reflection. She 
would also frequently sit up long after the 
others had retired, reading, or writing to her 
friends. She and her brothers were delighted 



1 6 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

readers of whatever books they could obtain. 
The latter coming home at night, weary and 
hungry, would eat very lightly at supper, in 
order to keep their minds clear for reading and 
study. In her letters, written at this period to 
her young friends, our grandmother often gives 
interested criticisms of the books she has been 
reading, or quotes from some of her favorite 
poems. She speaks, in a letter to a young 
cousin, of one of her brothers reading to her 
the history of England, while she " plied the 
needle." Dr. Johnson's life and writings, the 
works of Addison, and other classics of that 
period were familiar to her. She was well 
acquainted with the favorite poetical writers 
of the time. Cowper's Task, Thompson's 
Seasons, the works of Young, Burns, Kirke, 
White, and many others, were read with great 
pleasure, and often quoted in later life. Her 
early letters show that her mind was eager for 
improvement, and full of enthusiasm for all that 
was good and beautiful. All through them can 
be traced the refinement and elevation of 
thought which marked her more mature years. 
I remember well frequently to have heard from 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. \J 

her lips the sentiment, that no one should write 
"one line which, dying, he could wish to blot." 
It is certainly true of all her letters, that in them 
there is nothing that she need ever have re- 
gretted ; and to read them is to have a lesson 
in purity of heart and true and conscientious 
living, as well as to be charmed with their spirit 
of warm affection, and natural sweetness and 
gaiety. 

In 1 8 19, a shadow fell on the happy home 
at Park Plain. The mother's health began to 
fail, and in the latter part of the year she died. 
This was at first an almost overwhelming 
blow to our grandmother. She was not yet 
seventeen, and upon her devolved the respon- 
sibility of filling her mother's place in the busy 
household. She bravely endeavored to do 
this, and, while quietly enduring the burden of 
her grief, made every effort to cheer her father, 
and to exercise a loving influence over her 
brothers. Their common sorrow drew her 
father and herself more closely together. The 
former had, for many years, been frequently 
absent from home accompanying, at different 
times, Richard Jordan, Joseph Whitall, Samuel 



I 8 MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 

Bettle, and other ministers in their religious 
visits to different meetings. The following 
letter, written to his wife, four or five years 
before her death, gives an account of one of 
these journeys before the days of railroads. 
He was accompanying Richard Jordan to New 
York to attend the Yearly Meeting : 

"New York: 5th month, 29th, 1815. 
" My Dear H. : — Believing it will be acceptable to 
hear how we have fared, since leaving home, can 
inform, that finding Richard Jordan ready to get into 
the wagon, we proceeded to Burlington, where we 
arrived about twelve. We set out again about three, 
but missing our way, were, I apprehend, at least one 
hour later in getting into B. Clarke's than we should 
have been. They were, however, not gone to bed, 
and received and entertained us in that way, that 
rendered our stay agreeable and refreshing. Fifth 
day we dined at Brunswick. Considerable of the 
road from Princeton to Brunswick was exceedingly 
unpleasant, on account of many deep miry places, not 
to be avoided. We arrived at Rahway seasonably — 
had good road thither. It having been their monthly 
meeting day, we found many Friends there, amongst 
whom were M. and H. Collins. We lodged at Joseph 
ShotweH's, where I lodged twenty-five or six years 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 9 

ago. They are rich, have no children — do not appear 
to have grown old as fast as myself. His wife is a 
first cousin of E. Miller, and, in many respects, a 
counterpart of her, — therefore thou wilt conclude 
justly, that we were kindly and heartily entertained. 
Sixth day, morning, we left Rahway, in company with 
M. and H. Collins for New York, finding a pleasant 
country and good road. We arrived at New York 
about twelve o'clock, and got our trunks, etc., on a 
wheelbarrow, and proceeded for Willet Hicks', who 
lives more than a mile from the feny. We met 
Stephen Grellet, who sent Richard Jordan to his 
house to rest, and kindly conducted us to Willet's. 
We were there received in that way that has enabled 
us all to feel like being at home, in as great a degree 
as could be expected in a land of strangers. I went 
to see T. Hawkshurst seventh day morning. He 
lives close to the meeting-house — his house was full 
of Friends, and he so much engaged in kind acts on 
their behalf, that I did very little more than speak with 
him, but I intend going there again. Seventh day, I 
dined with Willet's son-in-law, Doctor Cheesman — 
drank tea at Robert Bownes' with Richard Jordan. 
Yesterday went with A. Clapp to a brother of his in 
town. Willet does not give his Friends dinner, 
because he and his family do not go home themselves, 
but I feel pretty comfortable in that respect, being 
acquainted with a few who do not live very far from 



20 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

the meeting-house. But the town is (or a great part 
of it) so irregular, that I never expect to be so 
acquainted with it as to be able to find the way much 
about it. 

" My health has rather improved, but the pain and 
soreness of my chest continue, attended with more 
cough than has been usual. This, and many, many 
other considerations are sufficient to humble me, and 
I hope I often feel humble, but I fear, very much fear, 
not enough so. 

" Thou, my dear, as likewise the children, have not 
been long at a time out of my remembrance. May 
infinite goodness be near, bless and preserve you, and 
render you all comfortable, is the almost continual 
desire of thy 

"J.T.Jr. 

" I do not feel able to give any directions about the 
business — the boys will order it as they think best, 
with thy advice. ****** 

" I did not produce my minute — the kindness and 
good will of my friends in giving me one does me 
good, notwithstanding. 

"I rise about my usual time — have much time in 
the morning by myself to read and contemplate or 
walk, but our breakfast time is now drawing near. 
Give my affectionate love to my dear father; also, 
father Clements, who manifested, a tender solicitude 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 21 

for me. Indeed, I feel quite an unusual portion of 
love for all my home friends, and I hope all others. 
" Adieu, dear H." 

After his wife's death, the absence of our great- 
grandfather from home, when on these missions, 
was especially felt. On one of these occasions, 
our grandmother thus writes to her friend, Lydia 
Lippincott, who was also motherless : 

"We feel a great vacuum, when father is absent 
which nothing can fill. Having been deprived of one 
parent, 'tis natural we should cling more closely to the 
one we are still blessed with. I have great cause to 
love my father. He possesses qualities which are 
particularly useful to a motherless daughter. Under 
that head, thy Mary's name must now be enrolled. 
But, Lydia, is it not a comforting reflection, that we 
have mothers in heaven, who, perhaps, are our 
guardian angels, watching over us for good ? " 

She strove cheerfully to bear her heavy 
sorrow, although other trials, which surrounded 
her at this time, made her doubly feel the great 
loss she had sustained. In her letters to her 
intimate friends, she sometimes poured out the 
grief that threatened to overwhelm her. 

She thus writes to Catherine Wistar : 



22 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

"Woodbury, 3d month, 15th, 1820. 

" I have resumed my pen to inform thee how- 
acceptable thy letter was, and to indulge my melan- 
choly feelings — yes, melancholy indeed, and with 
cause. 

" * * * Tis consoling to know there is a land 
prepared for us, where the storms and tempests of this 
world are not known, where all sorrow and affliction 
are excluded, where we may have communion with 
angels, and sit at the right hand of Jesus ; and as this 
is a situation so desirable, let us redouble our exertions 
to obtain it. Why not forsake all the transient and 
unsubstantial allurements of this world for a seat in 
that blessed kingdom, and to secure as our friend Him 
who reigns therein. I have been reperusing with a 
great deal of pleasure, and I hope some instruction, 
the life of Lady Guion. Hast thou read it, and dost 
thou not think she was an example of Christian 
resignation ? The patience and meekness with which 
she bore the manifold trials and persecutions, which 
were meted to her, are, indeed, instructive. It appeared 
to be her pleasure humbly to obey the Divine will, 
although it was to walk in an unbeaten path, and to 
lead a life which the world would call wretched. But 
to her it was glorious, as it ended in receiving for her 
crosses a crown, and for her self-denial and resigna- 
tion, the beautiful robes of righteousness. * * * 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 23 

" * * * Do, my dear C, write soon, and often, 
to thy sorrowing friend, and should thou attend the 
Yearly Meeting, I beg and entreat thee to stop, and 
tarry a night with me. I cannot tell thee with what 
joy I should clasp thee to my aching heart. That this 
pleasure may be granted me is sincerely the wish of 

" Thy constant Mary." 
To the same : 

"3d month, 30th, 1820. 

" I have again taken up my pen — a pen that is 

destined to communicate the sorrowful — to assure 

thee how much I was obliged by thy letter, as well as 

to gratify my inclination by writing to one who, I 

think, is not unmindful of my woes. It really seems 

as if the floods of affliction would overwhelm me, and 

I should sit down in despondency. I sometimes feel 

as if I were in the midst of a sea, where the waves 

were continually roaring, thinking that with the next 

I should sink. But there is an invisible Arm that will 

support when there is no other resting place to be found, 

and to Him who sees and knows all things, who judges 

and inflicts aright, we must submit. I feel it a duty to 

be resigned, although the task be hard. I know that 

' He portions with paternal care, 

How e'er unjustly we complain — 
Gives each his necessary share 
Of joy and sorrow, grief and pain,' 

and I hope I may profit by my many griefs, and try 



24 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

not to live to please this world or myself, but to please 
Him whose searching eye can read our hearts. I was 
much pleased with thy plan of reading. It has been my 
practice for about three months to read a chapter in my 
Bible every evening after retiring to my chamber. I 
began at the New Testament, and, after getting through 
that, shall begin at Genesis. I have been exceedingly 
interested in the character of the apostle Paul. How 
much there is in his epistles, as well as elsewhere in 
the book, that is full of instruction. In his conversion, 
his appearance before Felix and King Agrippa, his 
dangerous voyage to Italy, his shipwreck on the island, 
and as a faithful laborer in the Lord's vineyard, he 
manifests a bright example of Christian piety. 

" A few days since, feeling oppressed with grief, and 
stripped of every comfort, I sought the Bible for relief, 
and the first words that arrested my attention on opening 
it were these : ' Be comforted, for I will be with you.' 
My despairing heart was strengthened — He will not 
leave his children if they seek His presence." 

To her friend, Lydia Lippincott, she writes : 

"Thou hast been the object of my frequent 
thoughts ; thy form has presented itself when I have 
been sinking under a weight of woe, and have felt 
almost friendless, and I have said in my heart : ' Wert 
thou here thou would soothe and comfort my sorrow- 
ing lot' " 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 25 

To her cousin, William Scattergood, she writes : 

" 1st month, 23d, 1820. 
" Never have I needed secret, silent sympathy more 
than of late, and often have I felt like exclaiming, with 
Young : ' Ye that e'er lost an angel, pity me.' I hope 
I may cherish her memory, and not forget that ' He 
mourns the dead, who lives as they desire.' I have 
yet many blessings to be thankful for, and ought not 
to repine at the will of unerring Wisdom. His aid, if 
rightly sought for, will undoubtedly be found. He 
has promised to give rest to the weary laden, and 
comfort those that mourn." 

After this heavy trial, our grandmother's 
character increased in depth and seriousness, 
and she experienced a fuller spiritual life. 
Her earnest desire was often expressed, that 
she might learn the lessons intended for her by 
Him in whose love she trusted, even while He 
chastened her. Her letters show that her 
heavy sorrow taught her the insufficiency of all 
earthly consolations ; and dear to her as was 
the sympathy of her friends, she turned to her 
Saviour as the only source of abiding strength 
and peace. 

She thus writes to Catherine Wistar : 



26 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

"6th month, 4th, 1820. 
" * * * Friendship, indeed, is a soothing balm. 
It often invigorates the mind when sinking under the 
weight of woe, to know that we have friends who 
weep because we weep, and who sympathize in our 
afflictions, to know there are those who are ever 
ready to extend a hand and lend an arm to support 
Yet that alone is insufficient. We must have recourse 
to a higher power, to an abler hand, to a friend, 
indeed, who is ever watching and always ready to 
assist those who humbly ask His help. Oh, why not 
resign our hearts to such a guardian, and cast all our 
cares at His feet, and try to become worthy of His love; 
for what is so ardently to be wished for as to feel that 
we are the true followers of Jesus — trusting and 
depending on His mercy as our Redeemer." 

In many other letters, she gave expression, 
with great sweetness and humility, to her 
thoughts of heavenly things, and, without losing 
her brightness and vivacity, kept ever in view 
the serious side of life. 

She had an affectionate and sisterly influence 
over her boy cousins, some of whom were sent 
from the city to Park Plain, to be under her 
care during the week of Yearly Meeting, when 
their parents' houses were filled with company 




MARY TATUM, 

WHEN ABOUT EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 2J 

As they advanced in years, this pleasant 
intercourse continued, and she was made the 
confidante of their most serious thoughts, 
and often stimulated them in the right way. 
In a striking letter, written in her nineteenth 
year to one of these cousins who was about 
her own age, she speaks frankly and earnestly 
of a serious fault she had seen in him, 
but her rebuke is so wisely and tenderly 
delivered, that it could not have given offence. 
It was carefully preserved by him to the close 
of his life. It shows the same gracious tact 
that in later years made her granddaughters 
find something peculiarly sweet and endearing, 
even in her admonitions. Thus early she 
began to exercise that helpful sympathy which 
was a marked feature in her later life. 

The earliest likeness we have of our grand- 
mother was taken about this time. It is a 
silhouette, cut at Peale's museum in 1821, 
when she was eighteen years of age, and 
must have been an excellent likeness, as it 
bears great resemblance to her features in later 
life. 



CHAPTER II. 



21-1830. 



THE following extracts from her letters will 
give some idea of our grandmother's life 
and thoughts during the next few years. In 
her eighteenth year, she writes to her friend, 

Catherine Wistar : 

" 1st month, 1st, 182 1. 

" Another year has rapidly rolled away, and is now 
finally closed ; thus the wheels of time incessantly roll 
on, and hurry us, prepared or not, toward eternity. 
* * * There is something very pleasing in the 
idea of being travelers to the blessed Canaan — follow- 
ing the meek and lowly Jesus; and why should I not 
be of the number ? The path is free to all — nothing is 
required that ability is not given to perform, and 
nothing inflicted that we are not able to bear. Do 
teach me, my dear Catherine, how to be good — or 
how to resist the daily, aye hourly temptations to err. 
I do not believe thou has as many difficulties to con- 
tend with as I have ; thou wast better in the off-start; 

therefore let me have thy sympathy for being such a 
28 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 20, 

sinner. But I will not entertain thee with my wicked- 
ness any longer, but will tell thee how much obliged 
I was for that piece of poetry, and the letter that 
accompanied it. I had never seen the verses before, 
and admire them very much. An Englishman was 
here this summer who had lived many years near 
Hannah More. He gave me a very interesting 
account of her — said her dwelling was a white cottage, 
looking as if it might be the rural abode of an 
authoress, and bespoke a cultivated mind. The 
interior he said was very interesting. She has a talent 
for painting, and there were a great many specimens 
of her work hanging in the rooms — the scenes taken 
from her own writings. I am still reading Johnson's 
works — have just commenced his 'Tour in the West- 
ern Islands.' His ' Idler ' I do not like so well as the 
' Rambler.' * * * Hast thou ever seen a prayer 
written by Sir William Jones ? It is printed in his life. 
If thou hast not, I will send it to thee — I think it is 
excellent. Tell me how thou admires the little poem 
enclosed? It is the production of a native genius, and 
I value it." 

To Catherine Wistar : 

" Oh, I am so disappointed thou art not coming to 
Woodbury this week. Observe — I pay no regard to 
thy ' resolutions not to come,' for I think they must 
have been formed in a moment of weakness. Could I 



30 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

so easily leave home as my friend Catherine, I should 
certainly allow myself the pleasure of visiting her. 
But there is but one of me, and it generally seems 
proper for that one to be engaged in her father's 
household. I often wish I had been made into two, 
and certainly have enough of the evil in my com- 
position to have spared a sister a full half, and still be 
possessed of an ordinary share." 

To the same : 

"Woodbury, 3d month, 28th, 1821. 

" In dating my letter, I have been reminded of what 
I otherwise should have forgotten, that this day ends 
for me eighteen years spent in a world, that experience 
has taught me, is thickly planted with thorns. * * * 
I have been led to take a cursory view of the many 
changes that have taken place in the course of my 
short life — how many thousands in the midst of folly 
have been summoned to the tribunal seat of justice — 
how many that rioted in all the luxury of wealth have 
felt the biting blasts of misfortune, and all the ills 
attendant on poverty ! And one I know there is, who, 
in early years, walked in flowery paths, when nothing 
was presented to her unsuspecting heart but a succes- 
sion of new delights ; but that heart was not permitted 
to remain long in that Elysian grove — it was soon 
taught the sad realities of life. I blush when I think 
of the years of my life that are gone, and 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 3 1 

■ Where are they ? How much is to be done ? 
My hopes and fears start up alarmed — 
And o'er life's narrow verge look down 
On what ? a fathomless abyss, a dread eternity — 
How surely mine.' " 

To the same : 

" ioth month, 1821. 

" I have determined to steal a few minutes from sleep 
to devote to my dear Catherine, and to tell her that I 
have been spending this afternoon very pleasantly at 
J. Whitall's, with Margaret Wright (from England) 
and S. Cresson. * * * Ann Maylin was also there. 
England and its varied changes were the interesting 
subjects of conversation. Elizabeth's and Mary Queen 
of Scot's lives and characters were compared and dilated 
upon. We all differed from Margaret, who gave the 
pre-eminence to Elizabeth. Her bold and undaunted 
bravery is not to be compared with the mild yet dignified 
fortitude of Mary, when she heard, unmoved, the unjust 
and severe sentence of her cousin. What an awe must 
have been imposed on the assembly that gathered to 
witness the dreadful act, and beheld her youth, beauty 
and talents, thus prematurely condemned to the tomb 
— to gratify, as I believe, a feeling of envy ! 

" The present reign will be one of great events, if we 
may call that great which is not good. I hope and 
believe that Queen Caroline was not as guilty as 
was represented, and that she has escaped from a 



32 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

scene of unmerited sufferings to a land of rest — to join 
the kindred spirit of her daughter, who, I trust, is now 
one of the heavenly host. 

" I am just now reading a little work, entitled 'The 
World without Souls.' It is a curious kind of thing. 
I hardly know what to make of it — although it con- 
tains some good hints, and some arguments that may 
be useful." 

To Lydia Lippincott : 

"Time rolls ceaselessly on — 1822! I can hardly 
realize it. The three last years have flown quickly 
away; but they have been marked with events that 
are indelibly impressed on my heart — events common 
to humanity, but which have crushed many of my 
plans for future happiness, and destroyed many fond 
anticipations. It furnishes some useful lessons to 
retrace our past lives — to view the unwearied hand of 
affection, fondly endeavoring to guide the erring steps 
aright, and to remember the many favors that have 
descended on guilty heads — which favors are too often 
considered as only properly due. 

" 1st month, 13th. 

" The above was written last first day evening, 

and I would not now commence under it, but that it 

will give thee an ocular demonstration that thou hast 

been remembered — yes, my Lydia, fondly remem- 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 33 

bered. Each successive visit from thee is productive 
of more pleasure, and the bond of friendship is 
strengthened. I hope it will prove indissoluble — 
yes, I believe that year after year will roll away, 
and the tie that united our hearts will never be 
broken. 

" Thy valued letter was received a few days after 
date. I was delighted to find thou wast not under the 
dominion of formality, and so glad to hear that thy 
health is restored. Study and literature are congenial 
to thy health and constitution. I shall want thee to 
impart some of thy knowledge to me in after days. I 
hope we shall spend many together, enjoying the 
delights of social converse, which a free intercourse 
affords, and which I think the female mind is par- 
ticularly adapted to enjoy. That sentiment would not 
do were I writing to one of the brethren." 

The desire expressed that the friendship 
above alluded to might never be broken, was 
literally fulfilled. When Lydia Lippincott was 
married, several years before our grandmother, 
the latter was her helpful and sympathizing 
friend, and served as one of her bridesmaids. 
Afterward, when they both lived in Phila- 
delphia, their friendship was cemented by the 
similarity of their cares and interests in married 

3 



34 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

life, and of their joys and sorrows. Their 
children grew up- together in great intimacy, 
and the closest friendship was maintained 
between the two families. Through all the 
vicissitudes of life, until the death of this 
beloved friend, there was an ever increasing 
sympathy and love. After this separation, the 
affection for the mother descended to the 
children, and, to the end of our grandmothers 
life, they, with their honored father, were among 
her most loving and devoted friends. 

An intense love of nature, which made all 
her surroundings beautiful to her, and, during 
her whole life, caused her the greatest enjoy- 
ment, is evident in all her correspondence. 

She writes to Catherine Wistar : 

"Woodbury, 5th month, 30th, 1821. 

u * * * \y e had a very pleasant ride home — the 
country really looked charming ; the fields of grain, 
the meadows, clothed with the most beautiful verdure, 
and the woods, resuming their inviting aspect, and 
adorned with flowers of various hues, presented to the 
mind the purity and sublimity of the Maker, and 
caused our thoughts naturally to arise ' from Nature 
up to Nature's God.' " 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 35 

To the same : 

"Woodbury, 7th month, 15th, 1821. 

" * * * Had I known thou wast out in that 

storm, thou wouldst have had my sympathy, which 

thou hast in storms of every kind. I seldom see the 

' lightning's dire flash,' or hear the i thunder's loud 

peal ' but I think of thee — recollecting how it was in 

former days. These grand displays of divine power, 

magnificence and might, always excite in me feelings 

of awful sublimity, and I often think of the words of 

the poet, 

' God is coming, God is nigh — 

Hear ye not the chariot wheels 

As the mighty thunders roll ? ' 

How can any one doubt the existence of a Superior 
Power, when He stands confessed in all His works, yea, 
from the starry firmament down to the most minute 
particle of sand. * * * Ought we not to 
surrender our hearts to Him, to be anything or 
nothing, as may seem best in His holy sight? 

" This is a beautiful evening. The moon has just 
appeared above the horizon, and is gradually ascend- 
ing an almost cloudless sky, diffusing light, and 
adding an additional beauty to the fair face of nature ; 
and impressing upon everything a calm serenitude, of 
which the mind in a degree partakes. * * * The 
clarionet is heard beautifully from the hill, and the 



36 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

flute in the ' Vale of Vaucluse.' They sound harmo- 
nious indeed, and are, to my enraptured ear, par- 
ticularly grateful. Music has many captivating 
powers — too many, I find, for me to indulge much 
in it ; but there is something very soothing in the soft 
sounds of the flute which seems ' To lull each care to 
rest and calm the troubled mind.' * * * Oh, do 
listen, Catherine ! They are playing ' Hail to the Chief,' 
and accompanying it with their voices. All the 
family have retired but solitary me, and I have to 
enjoy it alone. The mild planet of evening is at her 
full, and shines clear and serene, and all nature seems 
to be wrapt in silent contemplation." 

To the same : 

" 5th month, 30th, 1822. 

" * * * I enjoy sitting up an hour or two after 
the family have all retired — particularly when the 
weather is sufficiently warm to admit of the doors and 
windows being open, that the soft beams of Cynthia 
may steal in. Often, when gazing on the sky, I 
cannot help exclaiming, with the Psalmist : ' When I 
consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, and the 
moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained ; what is 
man, that thou art mindful of him ? ' And again, ' Thou 
hast made him a little lower than the angels.' What 
condescending goodness is this, and we find it in 
every act of his divine hand ! " 



^^(iN-4 



AXXE BIDDLE, 

IN HER TWENTIETH YEAR. 

Born, jth Mo., 23D, 1780. Married Jno. Tatum, 6th Mo., 26th, 1822. 
Died, 9TH Mo., 4TH, 1870. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 37 

In Sixth month, 1822, her father married 
Anne Biddle, of Philadelphia, a maiden lady of 
refinement and cultivation, and deep religious 
experience. Our grandmother accepted cheer- 
fully this connection, and valued the new associa- 
te 

tions into which it brought her, forming warm 
friendships with her stepmother's favorite 
nieces, who became frequent visitors at Park 
Plain. The letters, written before her marriage 
by Anne Biddle to her future daughter, give 
evidence of the kind feelings mutually awak- 
ened by the prospect of this new tie. The 
two which follow are inserted to show the 
thoughtful consideration, with which the writer 
regarded the young people of the family, of 
which she was to become a member. 

To John and Mary Tatum : 

" 3d month 5th, 1822. 

" You will probably be surprised at receiving a note 
from a friend who is nearly a stranger to you ; yet 
circumstances, with which you are acquainted, have 
induced me to take a deep interest in the feelings and 
sentiments of your hearts, and I believe it will not 
be departing from that propriety of conduct at which 
I wish, at least, to aim to address you, my dear 
young friends, in this manner. Your father has told 



38 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

you of the steps he has taken in regard to myself, 
and I expect he also informed you, early after I took 
the subject into consideration, that your approbation 
must be preliminary to any conclusion in his favor. 
From him I learn that, as dutiful children, you made 
no objection to his wishes, and more than this I know 
I have no right to expect I believe I can feel in a 
degree for you, remembering, as you do, the very 
excellent mother you have lost. I fear, with too much 
justice, that her place will be poorly supplied by the 
person your father has chosen, and I cannot wonder 
that many painful feelings should predominate in your 
minds ; yet I still feel such a desire to have your full 
consent to a measure so important in its consequences 
to us all, that I am unwilling to consent to the very 
early time your father wishes for its completion, until 
I know your sentiments more clearly on the subject, 
either verbally or in writing. 

" A very few lines from either of you will be satis- 
factory to your sincere friend, 

"Anne Biddle." 

To Mary Tatum : 

"Phila., 4th month, 2d, 1822. 

" Thy affectionate note, with its enclosure, were, my 
dear Mary, most grateful to my feelings, though many 
fears have arisen lest thy warm and youthful imagina- 
tion should lead thee to expect too much from one, 
who feels, at times, all the weakness of human nature. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 39 

" When thy father first mentioned the subject to 
me, he invited me to become a mother to his children ; 
and in consenting to his proposal my most ardent 
desires — may I not say my prayers — have been, that I 
might be enabled to perform the arduous and import- 
ant duty, in a manner which would promote your 
happiness and my own peace of mind; yet I may 
acknowledge my fears for myself are often greater than 
my hopes. 

" Now I have the pen in my hand, I may say to 
thee what I regretted not having said when we were 
together. It is my request to thee, dear Mary, that in 
looking toward the addition to your family, which is 
likely so very soon to take place, thou may make 
as little preparation as possible. It is my desire to be 
very moderate, and although education and habit may 
lead us to view some things in a different light, yet I 
hope we shall soon see through the same medium, 
and by a mutual desire to conform, we will, in what 
may be right, strengthen each other in every good 
word and work. 

" If thou wilt gratify me in this respect, it will 

render it more easy for me to consent to thy • impatient' 

father's wishes for an early completion of a measure 

which will, I trust, unite us in the bond of family 

harmony. 

" Farewell, most affectionately, 

"Anne Biddle." 



40 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

When the writer of the above letters came, 
after her marriage, to live at Park Plain, she 
was met with a kind and affectionate welcome 
from the younger members of the family, and 
was ever treated by them with the greatest 
consideration and respect. In after years an 
active correspondence was maintained between 
her and our grandmother, which manifested, on 
both sides, the continuance of a tender interest 
and regard. 

The following extracts from letters to Cath- 
erine Wistar show our grandmother's feelings 
at this important period of her life : 

" 3d month, 23d, 1822. 

u * * * Thou art right, my dear Catherine, in 
supposing there is an important change likely to take 
place in our family, and one which has caused me to 
feel deeply and seriously. But I can now safely say it 
looks very pleasant — much more so than I once 
expected such a circumstance ever could. I doubt 
not I shall find in her a friend, a preceptor, and what 
is more endearing than either, a mother — a name 
which, in my view, comprehends many delights. But 
nothing can cast a veil of oblivion over my own dear 
mother — no circumstance can drive her image from 
my heart ! I shall cherish her memory with fondness, 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 4 1 

and her virtues with a desire to imitate them — for I 
fain would follow her to the realms of bliss where she 
now exists an angel. Happy thought ! that I really 
have a mother in heaven." 

To the same : 

"7th month, nth, 1822. 
" * * * My home possesses a new charm, which, 
I think, will bind me to it very closely. It always was 
dear to me — so good and kind a father, and, a sister 
may say, such clever and amiable brothers, could not 
fail to make it so. But I have passed many hours 
which were cheerless and lonely, the gloom being 
heightened by the recollection of the happy days that 
have passed by, and the remembrance that a mother 
who so greatly contributed to make them such, was no 
more. But I have always had, and continue to have, a 
great deal to be thankful for, and I would never have 
called her back from those celestial mansions above ; and 
now I can rejoice that her vacant place is filled by one of 
whom, if departed spirits could behold the passing events 
in this lower world, she would approve — one whom 
her children feel quite prepared to own as a mother. 
I did not believe at one time that any person could, and 
particularly in so short a time, feel so like a mother." 

The next few years were tranquilly passed 
at Park Plain, occupied with daily home duties, 



42 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

her books, visits to and from her friends and 
relatives, and an active correspondence, which 
was a source of great pleasure to her. She 
often expressed the satisfaction she had in her 
friends, at one time exclaiming, ''It is delight- 
ful to love people." 

The most marked events of this period were 
the marriage of her dear friend, Lydia Lippin- 
cott, and somewhat later, that of her brother 
John. She gayly writes to Catherine Wistar, 
that she expects to be "a very feeling, sym- 
pathizing, old maid," ready to help her friends 
on all occasions. One of these friends, Anne 
W. Maylin, the only one now living of a circle 
of young people in her neighborhood, who 
stimulated each other intellectually and spirit- 
ually, thus writes of their intercourse : 

" My acquaintance with dear Mary Tatum began 
when I was scarcely fifteen years old, she being three 
or four years my senior. Our friendship was founded 
upon assimilation of intellectual and literary tastes, 
and religious aspirations. We were always bright and 
cheerful, but truly can I say that not the slightest 
element of frivolity entered for a moment into our 
almost daily intercourse. We read, walked and 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 43 

talked together ; delighted to compare thoughts upon 
our favorite authors — to stroll in the woods, and 
especially at evening to watch the varied and glorious 
sunsets." 

A friend who first met our grandmother in 
her twentieth year, and who afterward became 
closely connected by marriage with her 
husband's family, thus writes his first impres- 
sions of her : 

" Although I was introduced to Mary Tatum at an 
early period, yet we met so seldom, until at or near the 
time of her marriage, that my recollection of her is 
quite imperfect. In the summer of the year 1823 
* * * occurred my first introduction to her. She 
was at that time a most interesting and lovely young 
girl. I have a most distinct recollection of the high 
estimation in which she was held in the circle of select 
and intelligent friends with whom she associated, and 
for which Woodbury was at that time noted." 

The following extract from a letter to Cath- 
erine Wistar alludes to two sisters who were 
leading members of the above-mentioned social 
circle, but who were obliged on account of their 
fathers loss of property, to leave Woodbury, 
and to open a school in Philadelphia. 



44 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

" 8th month, 24th, 1823. 
" Hannah and Sally M. Whitall expect to go the first 
of next month to abide in the city. They have made a 
great sacrifice, but with so much cheerfulness and 
resignation, that it has evidenced great strength and 
dignity of mind. They will leave a blank in our little 
circle, which will not be easily filled, and reduce its 
number to a very few. But their loss will be most 
sensibly felt by their mother, who does not know how 
she can do without her daughters. Elizabeth is becom- 
ing a fine girl and promises to be useful to her parents. 
How fluctuating are the things of this world ! A few 
years since, their being reduced to this necessity would 
have looked very improbable." 

The following letter represents pleasantly 
the love and esteem which our grandmother 
already entertained for H. and S. M. Whitall, 
who afterward became her sisters-in-law. 

To Anne W. Maylin : 

" 5th month, 14th, 1824. 

" * * * I felt great regret yesterday afternoon 
in calling at B. P's to invite thee to accompany me in 
a walk, to hear thou wast out ; but the disappointment 
was robbed of its poignancy by discovering, through 
our dear H. M. Whitall, this evening, that you were 
walking together — for her company is so delightful 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 45 

and improving. Oh, I must tell thee of the joy I had 
this evening ! Mother and I, after an early tea, went 
over to cousin J. W's, to see our lovely Sally (Whitall) 
and E. M. Whitall,* and it was not without a sensation 
of regret, that I beheld, on entering the parlor, a large 
company of strangers, who at another time might have 
possessed the power to interest. Just as I was 
pleasantly seated by dear Sally, and was admiring her 
and loving her exceedingly, the stage drove up, and 
to my joyful surprise were ushered in, Hannah M. 
Whitall, Mary Ann Cope and James Cox — all of 
whom thou knowest we think first rate. Hannah, I 
should suppose, would diffuse pleasure wherever virtue 
and excellence are admired, there is so much unfeigned 
modesty, blended with such cultivated intelligence and 
strength of mind. M. A. C. is really so beautiful and 
elegant, that I love to think of her. She possesses a 
kind of dignity and loveliness peculiar to herself; and 
J. Cox always seems strikingly to evince the man of 
mind. Our interesting friend, Lucy, was there too, 
whom it is very easy to love. It is truly delightful to 
contemplate the varied excellence of such characters. 

" I should particularly like to have a tete-a-tete with 
thee now, but, as that is unattainable, we will rejoice in 
the happy power of loving each other, though person- 

* Afterward Elizabeth Tatum. 



46 MEMOIR OF MARY WH1TALL. 

ally not nigh, and may we, my dear Anne, endeavor 
to aid each other in every respect toward perfect life. 

« * * * j h ave reviewed with much pleasure thy 
last visit — our pleasant walk in the woods, seeming as 
though we had left the busy world, and feeling, in the 
undisturbed serenity of outward objects, the joy of 
close communion. A degree of that quiet retirement 
has become so habitually necessary to me, that I gen- 
erally feel a much higher enjoyment in the society of 
a friend in the country, than I do with the same friend 
in the midst of a bustling city. It is a weakness, I 
know — the mind should rise above the influence of 
such circumstances, but I think mine is remarkably 
the slave of outward situation. Let us at least have 
high aims — to quote from a letter of my dear uncle 
Josiah : ' Press forward with persevering industry, for 
Sir Philip Sidney truly said, that he who aims at the 
mid-day sun, although he is sure he never can reach it, 
will get much higher than he who only aims at a bush 
or a tree.' Let us, dear Anne, as we are endeavoring 
to advance, carefully examine our motives at every 
step — for it is of the first importance that the origin of 
our actions be pure, when we remember there is an 
Eye that can see the moving spring. * * * I 
have not time to say more, my dear Anne, than that I 
am glad I love thee, and I hope this love will ever 

exist in the heart of thy 

" Mary Tatum." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 47 

To Lydia L. Scull : 

"9th month, 5th, 1824. 

" Dost thou wonder with me, dearest Lydia, that I 
should suffer so much time to elapse since hearing the 
joyful intelligence, transmitted though thy sister H., 
before I should venture to congratulate thee upon the 
happy event. My feelings have been indescribable 
upon the occasion, and I thought I must write imme- 
diately to H., to give them vent. * * * And now, 
I hope, my dear Lydia is brave enough to listen to me, 
while I speak of this interesting little being, whom I am 
so anxious to see. But I have had a very interesting 
view of him this afternoon, in a dream, for I was no 
sooner asleep than I took flight to Whitehall — went 
marching into your front door, stepped into the 
chamber down stairs, and there I beheld thee seated, 
very matronly, in a rocking chair, engaged in the very 
act of dressing a sweet, lovely-looking little object, 
which proved to be this distinguished personage, 
Gideon Scull. Now I dreamed this with my eyes 
shut. Abby was standing by, and it was a very 
interesting scene. * * * But hear what my first 
exclamation was upon entering the room : ' Oh, do 
take care, or thee will let him fall and break him.' 
* * * Indeed, it seems wondrous strange, and I 
cannot realize such things as — mother — son — apper- 
taining to my dear Lydia. 



48 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

" I think thee ought to be very good, my dear 
Lydia. Thou hast much to be thankful for — thou 
hast indeed many blessings ! Such a combination of 
circumstances are not often attendant on young married 
ladies, and I rejoice in thy happiness, and ardently wish 
for its continuance. 

" Yes, my dear Lydia, is not ours a sister's love 
which can never be effaced — will it not continue 
through all the changes of this world, and may we not 
hope for its endurance through all eternity ? " 

To Catherine Wistar : 

" nth month, 25th, 1825. 

« * * * j some times think it is a sad thing to 
live in this generation,* and yet there is no other set of 
people with whom I should have liked to have been on 
the stage of existence. And I am glad I slipped into 
the world about the same time my dear Kitty did, and 
I trust thou will aid me in stepping through it — point 
out some of the dangerous places, and, by taking the 
right road thyself, show me which way I ought to go." 

To a cousin, after the death of his father : 

"7th month, 7th, 1824. 
" Thy letter, my dear cousin, of yesterday, informing 
us of the indisposition of cousin J., excited much feel- 

* Referring to some doctrinal difficulties among Friends. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 49 

ing within me on your account — although I had not 
ceased to mingle in your sorrows — for, indeed, they 
have engrossed my attention almost to the exclu- 
sion of every other subject, and I have felt it to be a 
privilege ' To weep with those who weep.' Having 
been taught in a similar school, I know in a degree 
how to feel for the afflicted. There is a keen pang 
when the strongest earthly tie is broken, and there is 
a peculiar kind of grief in it, which only those who 
have realized it, can know. Yet it seems as if to 
sorrow would be selfish, when we believe that they, 
who were lately subject to all the tribulations of this 
world, are gathered unto true rest. When thinking 
of the peculiar trials which awaited him for whom we 
mourn, I regard it as an extension of heavenly love 
and mercy that thus, in the midst, he should be taken 
to a continuing city, where sorrow cannot come, and 
where the prayers of ungodly men cannot make him 
afraid. Let not selfish feelings, my dear cousin, prevent 
us from seeing the condescending kindness mingled 
with this blow, which I trust has been in mercy sent — 
perhaps to lead thee, my cousin, into the reality of self 
abasement, where true humility can only be found ; to 
draw thee from a world which cannot confer real 
happiness, to that unfailing source from whence it 
springs. I ardently desire it for thee, and crave it for 
myself. I feel, and I think I feel with thee, how all 

4 



50 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

important it is that thou shouldst endeavor to stand firm 
to what is right now. Thy character will now display 
itself, and I expect to behold in it many excellencies. 
Thy energy will now be called into action in the large 
field of usefulness which is spread before thee. Thou 
canst do much to mitigate the sorrows of thy widowed 
mother, who will need all the consolation her children 
can impart. Indeed, my dear cousin, I think many 
duties are pending on thee, but do not suppose that I 
even fear thou wilt be remiss in the performance of 
them — only I do so ardently desire that thou mayst 
fulfill every one, and do exactly right, that I cannot 
avoid the expression of it. Thou, my cousin, wilt 
regard it as the effect of that love which our late inter- 
course has, I hope, strengthened and renewed. I have, 
indeed, felt much for thee. I have desired much for 
thee, and chiefly that thou shouldst obtain the approba- 
tion of our Father in Heaven, without which, I trust, 
we have both felt we cannot hope for true peace." 

To the same : 

"2d month, 20th, 1825. 

« * * * j eX p ec t th ou hast read Richard Shackle- 
ton's letters, and been interested in them. He was, 
indeed, truly honorable, possessing a rare combination 
of all that could be desired in a man, or hoped for in a 
christian. I should like my cousin to aim at making 
such a character, or perhaps I should rather say, aim 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 5 I 

at doing right — and be great, just in the measure which 
Infinite Wisdom sees best. It does not do to make 
any man a standard by which to measure our actions — 
but compare them with that most holy Pattern which 
the gospel holds out for imitation. Yet it stimulates 
us to read of, or have intercourse with, those who are 
truly good, and I think there is no privilege I value 
more highly than the society of the learned, intelligent 
and pious, whose conversation informs and instructs — 
and we both, my dear cousin, have much to be thank- 
ful for, in that way. . Let us join in endeavoring to 
make some return, worthy of the many blessings which 
have always been dispensed to us, although equal to 
them it could never be. Dost thou not often, my dear 
cousin, desire to be of the number of the ' pure in 
heart,' although thou sayst, in an unwatchful moment, 
that it is in vain for thee to try to do any good thing, 
for thou ' cannot be rescued from misery' ? Are those 
blessed promises, which were made for all men, with- 
held from thee? Is the Divine arm shortened that it 
cannot save ? or His ear deafened that it cannot hear ? 
No, I believe every cry, yes, every feeble wish, which 
is raised in the secret of the heart for holy help, will 
be regarded by Him, who knows all that passes there ; 
and although it is a blessing to have our sins set in 
array before us, yet we ought not from their atrocity, 
to limit or distrust the power of the Almighty. He 
has said : ' Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall 



52 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

be white as snow' — and we ought constantly to remem- 
ber that the day of His gracious invitation may not 
always last, and believe that now is the acceptable 
time, and to-day is the day of salvation. It is easy, 
my dear cousin, to perceive what would be right, and 
I find it as difficult as thou canst, to regulate the world 
within, and as yet can claim no more than to desire to 
be one of the followers of Him, who was 'meek and 
lowly of heart' I have just reached the end of the 
Old Testament, which I have been reading, with much 
interest, and now wish to go regularly, attentively, and, 
I hope, instructively through the New. Wilt thou not 
commence with me, my dear cousin, that I may have 
the satisfaction of knowing we are similarly and profit- 
ably engaged? I am particularly anxious that thou 
should join me in perusing it, although we cannot be 
personally together. I do not suppose that thou 
neglects this valuable book — but I think an attentive 
and industrious perusal might be profitable. 

" The freedom with which I have written, I hope 
thou wilt accept, my dear cousin, as a proof of my 
affectionate interest. I have felt, and hope ever to feel 
warmly interested in thy welfare — and there are few who 
can more feelingly sympathize in thy joys and sorrows, 
or who would rejoice more sincerely in thy advance- 
ment in everything that would dignify and exalt. 

"Thy attached cousin, Mary T." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 53 

To the same : 

" Park Plain, 4th month, 6th, 1825. 

" It is but a poor way to oblige a friend, to take up 
the pen, when one feels indisposed for almost any 
employment — but I have felt such an inclination to 
give my dear cousin a little proof of his being often, 
very often affectionately remembered, that I am in- 
duced to make the attempt at a late hour in the 
evening. I trust thou wilt not be wanting in charity, 
if I am dull in expressing that interest, which has ever 
prompted me to embrace thy welfare in its most 
extended view. Yes, my cousin, thy welfare is often 
the object of my most ardent desires, and I do not, I 
cannot, anticipate any other, than that thou wilt be 
dignified as a man, and exalted as a Christian. Do 
not, my dear cousin, frustrate the hopes of many 
friends, and the intentions of Him who has designed 
to bless thee, by refusing again and again to accept the 
offers of His redeeming power, which are as efficient in 
this day, as at any former period, although it seems 
indeed, that temptations and difficulties do abound in 
every situation. Perhaps they are as many and as 
formidable in the quiet of our retired abode, as in the 
dangerous variety of a city life. Although in the 
country there is not so much to hinder a blameless 
line of conduct, yet it is equally hard to regulate the 
internal sphere, and to maintain that uprightness of 



54 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

heart and purity of motive, which can alone satisfy a 
soul seeking the approbation of Him who beholds its 
inmost recesses. But, my dear cousin, however we 
may feel the infirmities of our frail nature, let us not 
distrust that saving Power who redeemed the penitent 
thief, even on the cross, and to whom all things are 
possible. Let us endeavor to be thankful that He has 
not left us without a consciousness of our undone 
state. Indeed, there is nothing more conspicuous than 
the long-suffering patience and enduring mercy of His 
condescending goodness. I, my cousin, have as much 
need of craving a continuance of it as thou canst have. 
Notwithstanding the exaggerated picture thou hast 
drawn. of self, thy heart probably is as pure as hers, 
who, with more artfulness, may conceal the multitude 
of sins. Therefore let us humbly and reverently 
desire a qualification to pray for each other, that we 
may not be left without the reproofs of instruction." 
******** 

To Catherine Wistar : 

"Park Plain, 12th month, 10th, 1828. 
" Father and mother set off this morning and left me 
to reign sole mistress of the mansion. I miss our Jo 
very much upon such occasions, not being accustomed 
to being left so fatherless and motherless and brother- 
less. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 55 

" * * * This governing others is what I do not 
fancy, particularly as the most important part of it lies 
in governing oneself. It is a very difficult thing to 
regulate servants — to be entirely just toward them, and 
to do unto them as we would they should do unto us. 
The duty toward them is much more arduous than 
toward children, where the affection prompts to every 
act that will promote their happiness or welfare. But 
the poor servants do not, I fear, always get that atten- 
tion and instruction which He who is no respecter of 
persons, designs for them. Yet although their situation 
as a class of people seems hard, they generally appear 
cheerful and happy, and, if they did but know it, escape 
many cares and anxieties and perplexities, which those 
feel who rule over them." 

To Lydia L. Scull : 

" 2d month, 25th, 1824. 

"Thou asks, dear L., respecting my visit to Phila- 
delphia. It was productive of much pleasure. I saw 
a great variety of interesting characters, yet was quite 
willing, at the expiration of two weeks, to return to the 
more tranquil and retired enjoyments of the country. 

" I went to see Hannah and Sally Whitall several 
times. They appear very cheerful and happy. The 
consciousness of being so useful must impart great joy 
to their situation. They are very neatly and prettily 
established, and have twenty-four scholars. They feel 



56 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

keenly just now at parting with their good brother, 
who expects to be from them so long." 

To Anne W. Maylin : 

"Park Plain, 6th month, 18th, 1827. 
" * * * It will be three weeks to-morrow since 
I came home, and I think I have rarely felt more 
delighted than when I was landed at my father's door. 
It was a most sweet, calm evening, and everything 
seemed tranquilly joyous. I wondered that one so 
unworthy should have so many blessings — were they 
meted out to us according to our merits, how very few 
would some of us possess ! The emotions called forth 
by such undeserved blessings are expressed by 
Addison, where he says : i It transports the soul in 
wonder, love, and praise.' 

" Mickle Whitall, with his ' sisters three,' and Cath- 
erine West, came over last Seventh day evening. There 
is great joy and rejoicing over Mickle, who meets the 
affectionate attentions of his sisters with the same 
warmth with which they are bestowed. They did not 
know he was near them, until they saw him. Sally was 
the first to take the hint. Upon receiving a message 
from their father that there was a stranger in the parlor, 
she said : ' Oh, it is brother ! ' and flew down stairs to 
meet him." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 57 

The "good brother," Mickle Whitall, above 
alluded to, was John M. Whitall, whom she 
afterward married. His safe return from his 
long sea voyages was always a time of general 
rejoicing among his friends, and was an oppor- 
tunity, carefully embraced by him, of cultivating 
further acquaintance with Mary Tatum. For 
some years, he had secretly cherished thoughts 
and hopes in relation to her, and on his 
voyages had marked his own especial invoices 
of goods with her initials, but he had not felt at 
liberty to ask her in marriage. He believed 
that, while he continued his sea-faring life, an 
engagement to him would cause her much 
anxiety and suffering, and this he unselfishly 
wished to spare her. She, in the meantime, 
was entirely ignorant of his thoughts concern- 
ing her, but she had formed a very high opinion 
of him, which is expressed in the two following 
extracts from her correspondence : 

To Sarah M. Whitall : 

"3d month, 26th, 1825. 
" Thy Aunt Hannah kindly obliged us by reading 
those letters of thy excellent brother. It was a 



58 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

privilege I thought you would not deny us. They 
must have given you great joy to receive. It is a 
happiness to have such a brother. Surely his way will 
be made in the sea, and his path in the mighty waters, 
whilst, with so much humility and devotedness of heart, 
he confidingly trusts in Him who has promised never 
to forsake those who rely on His name." 

To Catherine Wistar: 

" Sally Whitall is so engaged with her brother, that, 
I fear, we shall not find it practicable to visit thee. He 
expects to sail the twentieth of this month. They 
possess in such a brother an inestimable treasure, and 
happily are fully sensible of his worth." [She inno- 
cently adds] : " I, like thee, had thought of Mickle and 

at some distant day joining heart and hand. 

Tiiey seemed so well adapted to each other, that I 
really regretted hearing of her present prospects." 

Years afterward, John M. Whitall wrote as 
follows, concerning his early impressions of her : 

" On one occasion, after the removal of our family to 
Philadelphia, when she was in the city on a visit, she 
took tea with my sisters, and I waited on her in the 
evening to her aunt Ann Scattergood's. It pleased 
my Heavenly Father at this time, to give me such a 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 59 

sense of her excellence, that I was fully impressed she 
would be a suitable companion for me, if the way- 
opened therefor. Ever after that she held a place in 
my thoughts, until the right time came for making it 
known to her. I recollect that when, in younger years, 
we used to meet in the streets of Woodbury, I had 
always been particularly struck with the sweetness of 
her appearance, which impression has never left me to 
this day, now in my sixty-ninth year." 

On leaving the sea, in 1829, John M. Whitall 
felt that the time had at last come, when he 
could rightly make known his feelings. 

Our grandmother delayed awhile her answer 
to his proposal, chiefly because, with the 
humility which always characterized her estimate 
of herself, she feared her own unworthiness to 
take upon her the cares and responsibilities 
of married life ; and was unaware how pre- 
eminently she was fitted to grace the position 
of wife and mother. The engagement was not 
entered into until both had faithfully sought 
divine guidance and blessing, and a strong 
feeling Had arisen in each heart, that the other 
would be found a true helper in the heavenward 
path. After the decision was arrived at, she 



60 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

thus records, in her diary, some of her feelings 

about it : 

"4th month, 18th, 1830. 

" It has been, indeed, a most serious subject to decide 
upon, and I could not have acceded, however inviting 
the offer might have been, without the approbation of 
my friends, and a belief that it was not contrary to the 
Divine will. Indeed, in some things in connection 
with it, it seems as if we might trace the hand of a 
kind Providence, yet I have felt quite too unworthy to 
dare to look for His merciful interference on my own 
account, but have hoped and believed that the beloved 
friend, who is equally interested with myself in the 
decision, was an object of His peculiar regard. I trust 
that he would not be permitted, in so serious a matter 
and with such sincere desires to do right, to go astray, 
and I feel quite willing now, to believe that he is 
intended to be a help, meet for me — most valuable, 
good and kind." 

The extracts which follow are taken from the 
same diary, and were written shortly after this, 
on her return from Philadelphia, where she had 
been attending the Yearly Meeting : 

"4th month, 25th, 1830. 
" Spent last week in Philadelphia — attending our 
Yearly Meeting, which was a very interesting, favored 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 6 1 

season. * * * Many important and deeply inter- 
esting subjects claimed the attention of the meeting, 
and were deliberated upon in much harmonious exer- 
cise. A very precious memorial respecting Hannah 
Evans, also one concerning our beloved, excellent 
friend, Sarah Cresson, were read — and deeply affecting 
was it to many minds to have them thus brought 
before the meeting, where their loss was keenly felt 
and their vacant places remained unfilled. 

" There was also read a most instructive testimony 
relative to Lucy Hartshorne — a very young woman 
who had been afflicted with most peculiar sufferings, 
and favored with remarkable patience, resignation and 
sweetness. It was altogether a privileged opportunity, 
but I fear I allowed the things of this world, the 
interests and attachments of this life, to hinder me from 
improving it. Oh, if He with whom we have to do 
was not a God of mercy and infinite compassion, what 
would become of some of us ! 

" A most excellent epistle was read from the 
Women's 'Yearly Meeting in London. After it was 
concluded, Abigail Barker arose, saying she felt bound 
to acknowledge if she was at all acquainted with the 
witness for Truth, it was met by the language of that 
epistle — that it was truly a most sympathetic and 
seasonable salutation peculiarly adapted to our present 
situation. Elizabeth Meader also said it had been very 
acceptable to her, and she had rejoiced in the evidence 



62 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

it afforded, that Truth speaks the same language every- 
where—and that although the mighty deep rolled 
between, we might by the fellowship of the Gospel be 
drawn very near together, and enabled to bear one 
another's burdens. 

" The last sitting, Seventh day afternoon, was also a 
very solemn one. Ann Jones knelt near the close of 
it, and most fervently supplicated for the preservation 
of all — acknowledging the continued unmerited mercies 
and favors, which from season to season had been dis- 
pensed. My mind was much occupied, throughout 
the meeting, with Philip's petition to the blessed 
Master, when he said : ' Show us the Father, and it 
sufficeth us,' and the reply : ' Have I been so long time 
with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip?' 
He could not have known that the lowly Jesus, who 
stood before him, was indeed the Prince of Peace. 
And so perhaps it is with many in the present day — 
they are looking out for some glorious and brilliant 
manifestations, and listen not to the gentle voice of 
Christ, who is standing at the door and knocking, and 
they turn from Him because of humble appearances, 
and say: 'Can this be He?'" 

John M. Whitall and Mary Tatum passed 
meeting 9th month, 28th, 1830. Our grand- 
mother thus notes the occasion : 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 63 

" This has been an important day to me, and one of 
deep interest — wherein, in our monthly meeting, I 
made with my beloved J. M. Whitall a public acknowl- 
edgment of intention of marriage. I should speak of 
it as a day of favor too — one in which I was made to 
feel my own nothingness and great unworthiness. 
While we were sitting in silence, I was favored to see, 
and also a little to feel, the unspeakable importance of 
loving the Lord above all things, and the great danger 
there is of earthly affections getting the ascendancy. 
In the last meeting, just after J. M. W. and I had 
declared our intentions, E. E. arose and said, it had 
been the earnest breathing of her spirit, for the young 
couple, ' that they might unite to honor Him, who died 
for them, to serve Him in the way He would have 
them to do, and to love Him above all things.' A 
sincere desire was raised in my heart, that thus it 
might • be — that we might unite to serve and honor 
Him, who hath done so much for us. We are both, I 
believe, convinced that 'tis in vain to seek happiness 
in anything short of the favor and love of Jesus — yet 
such is the weakness, frailty and sinfulness of my 
nature, that I fear I shall prove a hindrance to one 
who is desirous of making straight steps in the 
narrow way. Oh ! dare I look up to Heaven, and ask 
for a little strength and ability to walk consistently 
and circumspectly in the path that is opening before 
me?" 



64 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

There had been grave doubts whether the 
ceremony of ''passing meeting" could be 
accomplished at this time, because of the 
indisposition of several members of the house- 
hold. The following extract from a letter to 
her beloved Catherine Wistar, written the even- 
ing of the eventful day, speaks of her difficulties 
and regrets : 

"Park Plain, 9th month, 28th, 1830. 
" My very dear Catherine : — Do give me credit 
for being able, with perfect calmness, to take up the 
pen, after having gone through with the exercising 
ceremony of to-day, and, at the same time, believe me 
when I say that I have very few friends to whom I 
could write just now. But I have so lamented thy 
absence, that I must relieve myself by venting my 
regrets. I was most sadly disappointed last Sixth 
day, and on Seventh day hoped and feared, and have 
been looking and hoping ever since — but thou came 
not. I concluded that either indisposition had pre- 
vented thee, or thou had heard an exaggerated account 
of our sickness. Tis true we have all been sick by 
turns, and last week it looked very little like our being 
able to proceed this. I should have given out at once, 
had it not been for John M. Whitall's earnestness, and 
my friends encouraging me to go on. Very favorably to 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 6$ 

our wishes, all the family seem pretty well just now, 
although William has had a chill since meeting, and 
Joseph feels rather indisposed. I felt sometimes last 
week quite sad, and as if I hardly knew what to do — 
many urging me to go on, and I shrinking from it, 
unless they were all able to be out. * * * But at 
its close I may acknowledge that it has been altogether 
more comfortable than I anticipated, and has been a day 
of favor. John M. Whitall, his three sisters and Sarah 
B. Thompson did not come over until this morning ; 
and among their earliest inquiries was the question : 
1 Isn't Catherine here ? ' We took the consent of both 
fathers in writing. It was quite a trial that cousin 
J. Whitall should also have to be absent from meeting, 
but uncle Josiah accompanied Mickle, and we made out 
to say audibly what was necessary to be said. William 
Evans and wife were most acceptably at meeting. 
They came down this morning, accompanied by cousin 
William Scattergood. ***** 

" * . * * Thy letter was received after meeting, 
and raised grateful feelings in my heart for thy affec- 
tion and kindness. I do not wonder that some of thy 
friends were unwilling that thou should come here just 
now, but it has been a great disappointment to me not 
to have thee at this crisis. Thou very kindly says 
thou art at my ' service,' and I think myself highly 
favored in having such a friend to call upon. But, 
perhaps, thou would think me uncommonly covetous 



66 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

in my desires, if I were to tell thee just what would be 
agreeable to my wishes — to come as soon as thou can, 
and stay until after the final consummation. Thou 
will not want a new dress I should think, as there is 
going to be great simplicity — not, however, because of 
my great fondness for it — and we shall have very little 
form and ceremony, and thou need not feel as if coming 
to a wedding. For bridesmaids and groomsmen, we 
had thought of Benjamin Whitall and Sally, thyself 
and brother Joseph (if thou will have the youth to 
wait upon thee), E. M. Whitall, and George Haverstick; 
and I tell Sarah B. Thompson she will be one incognita. 
Write me word when Joseph may come for thee, and 
if it should become more sickly, either in our family 
or around us, I will let thee know. Father and mother 
appear to be getting well. Father has been very sick ; 
mother had a few chills which reduced her very much. 
Thy tedious correspondent is very well, as thou may 
judge by the length of this, written at a late hour. 

" P. S. — I expect I shall leave home, to go home very 
soon after I give up my name — probably the next day. 
It is strange, is it not, that one will do so — leave all 
the friends that one has always known and loved, and 
go ? I have set my heart upon getting thee in some 
way to Philadelphia, to live ! " 

Although the wedding was not for five or six 
weeks after this date, yet the illness which had 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 6? 

prevailed at Park Plain and in the neighbor- 
hood, did not entirely pass away. Even the 
bride elect was not exempt, but had a slight 
return of indisposition a short time before the 
day appointed for the marriage, and there was 
much rejoicing as she overcame it, and resumed 
her usual health. 

One day, not very long before our grand- 
mother's death, I went into her room, where 
she was engaged in looking over and destroy- 
ing a great number of old letters, which had 
been preserved for many years. I can see now 
her dearly-loved form bending over the papers, 
and her playful and affectionate expression, as 
she handed me the following note, telling me I 
might keep it if I wished. It has been among 
my treasures ever since — the last note written 
by her to our grandfather, before their wedding 
day. 

Mary Tatum to J. M. Whitall : 

"I have just written a hasty note to Hannah and 
Sarah, and feel unwilling to lay down the pen, without 
saying a word or two to thee, my beloved friend. I 
wonder if it will be the last time I shall write to thee as 
Mary Tatum. If so, let my pen repeat the assurance 



68 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL.t 

of sincere affection, accompanied with a hope, that in 
resigning my name to thee, it will be given up to one 
who will prove a guide, a counsellor and friend — who 
will be a strength and help to a very weak and erring 
one. I think I have at times very sincerely desired, 
that we may unite in earnest endeavors to dwell near 
the lowly Jesus — having the same aim, and minding 
the same rule, and consequently we would dwell very 
near each other. But, alas ! I am very much a stranger 
in the way ojf holiness, and often fear I shall be very 
far from such a companion, which, as a religious man, 
thou art entitled to, and think I have a security in 
looking toward thee, which thou canst not feel. 
Mother is conversing with Catherine very animatedly 
— but I find it very easy, in the midst of interesting com- 
pany, to turn the channel of silent thought toward thee 
— not that I love my friends the less, but thee the more. 
Wast thou in time for the stage, and how didst thou 
get home, and art thou not writing me a very interest- 
ing letter this eve ? If so, I am very much obliged, 
which thou canst not be, for this scrawl from thy 

" Mary T." 

She evidently was not wrong in supposing 
that a letter was preparing for her, and the fol- 
lowing extract from it shows how harmonious 
they were, in the desire that their union with 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 69 

each other might strengthen them in a higher 
and more devoted christian life. 

J. M. Whitall to Mary Tatum : 

" 10th month, 31st, 1830. 
" This is the last of the Tenth month, and five days 
more, if nothing occurs unpropitious to my ardent 
wishes, I shall receive my dearest Mary in the holy 
relation of wife. It is at this time, and it has been 
very constantly, my desire that I may be favored so to 
act, that she may never repent having resigned herself 
to my care. I trust it shall always be my greatest 
pleasure, next to my duty to my Creator, to contribute 
to her happiness. I hope thou, my beloved M., 
expects to find in thy friend many imperfections, and 
will make up thy mind to be very lenient toward his 
faults. In looking toward next Sixth day, I cannot 
help feeling very anxious, lest my unworthiness of 
thy hand may still prevent my expected happiness. 
We often see so many accidents happening between 
engagements and the consummation, that many fears 
present themselves, and in reflecting thereon I have 
desired that resignation might be attained — that come 
what will, we may not be surprised. I sometimes 
wonder if thou ever thinks of repenting of thy choice, 
and indulges a wish to draw back before it is too late. 
For my part, I have always considered that I was * 



JO MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

seeking a treasure that I did not deserve, and that if 
obtained, much good would accrue to me therefrom, 
and hence I have never had a misgiving thought, nor 
doubted my doing well. In this, our intended union, 
my dearest M., I hope it may be the earnest prayer of 
both, that the Lord Jesus will honor us with His bless- 
ing, and will condescend to care for us and preserve 
us in humility before Him — humbly depending upon 
His bounty for food and raiment both inward and out- 
ward. Let us, in the first place, seek for the clothing 
of our spirits with the calm and quiet covering of that 
grace which can alone keep out of the hurry and dis- 
sipation of the world, and then we may have for 
sustaining food that Bread which cometh down from 
Heaven. I have no doubt if thus we are favored, we 
shall be provided for, in the things of this world. 

" Shall I not receive another letter from my lovely 
and dear Mary Tatum, and shall I yet again write to 
the same loved friend before she takes my name ? Do, 
please, if the least time offers, write to me once more 
before the fifth of the coming month. Dost thou 
remember that the fourth will be, if I live, my thirtieth 
birthday? The little of thy company I enjoyed while 
in the city last, has only made me feel desirous to 
have more of it, and the days seem very tardy in their 
course. I always found, when at sea, that the nearer 
we approached our port, the more impatient I became 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 7 1 

of any delay, and I now find myself in pretty much 
the same condition. Dost thou pity me ? 

" Farewell, my truly beloved Mary, and feel assured 
of having the entire love of thy affectionately attached, 

"J. M. Whitall." 



CHAPTER III. 

. 1 830-1 850. 

ON nth month, 5th, 1830, our grandmother 
was married. In our grandfather's me- 
moir is an account, written by him, many years 
after, of "that beautiful day," when, he says: 
" I was given by my Heavenly Father, the very 
sweetest wife upon this earth." I remember 
hearing it said by a friend, that he loved to 
walk on the street where he was likely to meet 
John and Mary Whitall, for her sweet face, 
and his frank and cordial bearing, seemed to 
radiate a cheering influence over all who met 
them. No less bright a picture must they have 
presented, as they left the old meeting-house at 
Woodbury, which surely never sheltered a love- 
lier bride, nor witnessed the beginning of a 
happier and more devoted union. It must have 
been a sad hour at Park Plain, when the only 
daughter of the house bade farewell to the 
family circle she loved so dearly, and in which 

she had filled such an important place. 

72 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 73 

Before she had fully entered into her engage- 
ment with John M. Whitall, she had written 
thus to him of her beloved home : 

" Thou art conscious of possessing a ' small place ' 
in my regard, and might be even of holding a con- 
spicuous place, without missing it. To esteem thee is 
no new feeling — although to think of thee in the 
character in which thou now comes before me, is new, 
and I can hardly familiarize myself with the idea. And 
when I recollect that such thoughts and feelings, if not 
suppressed, may draw me from my beloved father's 
house, where a long list of kindnesses and sorrows, com- 
forts and afflictions, of broken ties and fond associa- 
tions and still cherished affections, strongly bind me — 
I shrink back, and feel it is much easier to think of 
thee, than of that. This truly has been the spot where, 
from earliest childhood, my interests have been located. 
I have always rejoiced in living just here, and some- 
times it seems very strange to me, that I have admitted 
feelings, that might eventuate in leading me into so 
new a path." 

Sad as it was to leave the old- life, after she 
had once unreservedly given her heart, she 
went forth in perfect trust and confidence to 
unite in forming a new home for them both, 
which was to be, for three generations, the 



74 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

centre of all that was bright and good and 
helpful. 

The newly-married couple went, the day after 
the wedding, to Philadelphia, where their first 
home was in a large old-fashioned house at the 
corner of Seventh and Race streets. This was 
the residence of their aged father, John S. 
Whitall, and his daughters, who were at that 
time much occupied with their school. The 
young couple assumed the entire charge of the 
home, which was brightened by the addition of 
new furniture, provided by the bride. The 
warmest affection already existed between her 
and her husband's sisters. In a letter written 
to J. M. W. during her engagement, she thus 
speaks of them : 

" I recollect two or three months since, thou told 
me that I did not know thy sister Hannah, and dwelt 
upon her virtues and her worth. I believed all thou 
said, but now I am rinding it out for myself — and I 
do, indeed, hope to find sisters in thy sisters. Sally I 
have loved, long before her brother was an object of 
particular interest — although that brother now seems 
somehow to have secured to himself the first place." 

Her expectations of loving and intimate 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. , 75 

sisterly intercourse were fully realized, and 
throughout their lives this was a great source 
of enjoyment. In 1845, the eldest sister, Han- 
nah, was married to Joseph Tatum, our grand- 
mother's younger brother, and this formed a 
still closer bond of union. 

Mention has been made in our grandfather's 
memoir of the loving little notes that he 
occasionally sent to his wife from his place of 
business. The following was written just a 
week after their marriage, and the reply was 
her first note to him signed with her new name : 

" nth month, 12th, 1830. 
" My dear Love : — Do not be surprised at re- 
ceiving a letter from me, when so near — but having 
time, and, as thou mayst feel assured, inclination 
also, I could not resist the desire to say that my 
heart feels itself as firmly thine (if not more so) 
now as ever, and that thy company has only in- 
creased my love. I hope thou, my dear Mary, wilt 
find thine a comfortable home ; it is my earnest wish 
to make it so, and I shall feel much distressed if I fail 
in my endeavors to render it such. I send, by John 
Murdoch, the sugar put up in pound papers, and with 
it a set of scales and weights, which I hope are the 
right sort. * * * This looks like a dull day for 



y6 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

business, and I seem about as dull. Hast thou any 
good to spare? If, through the day, thou art per- 
mitted mentally to approach the Throne of Grace, oh, 
then remember thy weak and frail J. M. W., who stands 
in much need of thy smpathy and helping prayers ! 
If the Lord help us not, we shall certainly come to 
nothing, and, in reflecting upon my prospects, I some- 
times feel that for all, I must give all. Oh, that we 
may be enabled to give our all to Him who only can 
bless our union and make us happy in each other! 
Prayer, I know, is our only refuge; let us therefore 
pray — and then He who heareth prayer will doubtless 
incline unto us, and bless our going out and coming 
in, in basket and in store. My heart, at times, is 
affected under a sense of divine goodness to me, a 
most unworthy one, with the query in what, or in 
what way, shall I repay such kindness, or how can I 
for all, give all ? I expect thou art in the midst of 
thy goods and chattels — packing and unpacking. If 
I thought thee disengaged, I do not know but that I 
should come round myself to bring these articles, as 
an excuse — though all hands are inclined to give to 
my visits home their real meaning, notwithstanding 
what I may insinuate to the contrary. 

''Would it not be best to send John down with that 
cake and letter to thy aunt? If thou wouldst like to 
send him just now, I have told him to go directly. 

"Please do not take cold by staying too long up 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 77 

stairs in the cold. Thou can hardly tell how much I 
feel concerned for thy well being in every way. 

"Farewell, my dearest love, and accept the affec- 
tionate salutation of thy own attached, 

"J. M. W." 

Mary Whitall to J. M. Whitall : 

"My beloved Husband: — Thy very kind note, 
with the accompanying scales, etc., just came to hand, 
and, while John has gone to Aunt Ann's, according to 
thy thoughtful proposition, I take up the pen hastily 
to reciprocate all thy affectionate feelings, and ac- 
knowledge obligations to thee for all thy kindness and 
thy love. I have the most entire confidence, dear, in 
thy wish and in thy power to make me comfortable — 
and doubt not I shall find the home to which thou hast 
brought me, a very pleasant abiding place — and that 
daily experience will prove to me, that he to whom I 
have given myself, is worthy of a better friend. Ah ! 
my dearest, I wish we may feel our dependence upon 
that beneficent holy Friend, who has done so much 
for us, and whose mercies are new every morning. 
May we be concerned to render unto Him a daily 
sacrifice — not indeed of that which costs us nothing; 
but for myself I have truly much cause to fear, and 
often feel as if my prayers would not reach the ear of 
Omnipotence — as if I could hardly hope to be heard. 

"Why dost thou feel dull? If it were in my power 



yS MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

to dispel sadness, thou wouldst never feel so. I must 

stop, with the assurance of the warm and sincere love, 

of thy own 

" Mary Whitall." 

One of her interests during the first winter 
after her marriage was a reading circle of which 
she thus writes to Catherine Wistar : 

" 1st month, 23d, 1831. 
" I expect E. Davis told thee of the reading circle 
at C. Morris's, which we found exceedingly interesting. 
What a beautifully polite, intelligent, consistent, 
Quaker lady thy Cousin Catherine is ! The first 
evening that we met, we sat some time in silence, 
which she broke by saying, very sweetly : ' It is very 
pleasant to see you all, dear friends, and I feel thankful 
for the aspiration raised in my heart since we met, 
that our thus associating together might be blessed 
unto us.' The work we are reading is Thockford's 
' Connection between Sacred and Profane History ' 
— which leads to a close and interesting scrutiny into 
the earliest ages of the world, and compares the 
accounts of heathen writers with those of the sacred 
historians. We meet three evenings in the week. It 
occupies a good deal of our time, but is a much more 
satisfactory way of spending it than in formal visiting. 
There are a great many sources of enjoyment open 
to us in the city, and a great many favors dispensed." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 79 

To Catherine Wistar : 

"12th month, 4th, 1 83 1. 

"The Lord has truly been very kind to me, and I 
have many, many blessings — a husband who is unre- 
mitting in his efforts to promote my comfort in every 
way, and, notwithstanding all thy prejudices in favor 
of single life, I think a married one, with all its cares, 
anxieties and responsibilities, far more conducive to 
comfort and happiness." 

Our grandmother became interested at this 
time, in conjunction with her beloved Sarah B. 
Thompson and others, in the formation of an 
association for establishing an " Infant School " 
for the children of Friends. The school went 
into operation in Tenth month, 1831, and was 
successfully superintended by the above-named 
Friend for a number of years. In common with 
the other members of the Association, our 
grandmother had regularly appointed times to 
visit the school, and witness its conduct and the 
progress of the scholars. As soon as her 
children became old enough to be pupils, she 
very thankfully put them under the tuition of 
this dear Friend, and always gratefully remem- 



80 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

bered the care and interest that was exercised 
on their behalf. 

On 2d month, 27th, 1832, her first child was 
born, and named Hannah Tatum. With this 
little daughter, she spent most of the following 
summer, either at the old home at Woodbury, 
or at Oakland, the residence of her brother 
John, near Wilmington, Delaware. Philadel- 
phia, at that time, was threatened with the 
cholera, and for this reason it was thought 
safer to remain in the country. An active 
correspondence was kept up between husband 
and wife, and the visits of the former were as 
frequent as his business would allow. During 
this summer our grandparents were consider- 
ing the subject of establishing a household 
separate from their father and sisters, and finally 
decided to do so. The following extracts are 
taken from letters written at this period. 

M. Whitall to J. M. Whitall : 

"Oakland, 7th month, 1832. 
" Tis evening, and our babe sleeps — while thoughts 
of the husband and father beloved, come so vividly 
before me, that I am constrained to take up the pen 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 51 

and indulge in this silent intercourse. But it will not 
half satisfy the void which this heart ever feels, when 
he who possesses its warmest affections, is away. 

" It is indeed a serious time in the world, and I do 
not like to be much separated from thee, my husband, 
my helper. How didst thou get home? I hope a 
letter will soon inform me it was comfortably, and that 
thou found all things well. After parting with thee, 
and doing a few errands, we pursued our way home- 
ward — little Hannah opening her eyes and looking 
about so brightly and joyously, that it would seem as 
if she had almost a sympathy with the smiles of 
nature. She has been very good. I often wish thou 
couldst see her just at moments when she is full of 
infantine loveliness. She is a great deal better — eats, 
drinks, laughs and cries as becomes an infant; takes 
her seat very regularly at my right hand at the table, 
and with a crust of bread, which even I allow her, is 
very quiet and unobtrusive. Sister M. and I took our 
babies and the syllabub bowl, and sallied to the barn- 
yard this eve, and how I did wish thou couldst 

have partaken of its contents." 

" 5 th day morn. 

" While our little Hannah is taking her morning 

nap, I take up the pen to commune with thee, dear. 

Hast thou had any further conversation with sisters, 

or counseled with father respecting our plan, and 



82 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

what does he think of it? I have supposed the 
change would be agreeable to him, although we could 
not expect he would enter into our feelings on the 
subject. I have thought more about it since we 
parted, and if we are to be entrusted with the awful 
charge of training up children, with all the respon- 
sibilities, anxieties and difficulties, which must be 
attendant upon it, I cannot see anything to make our 
present arrangement desirable either to them or to 
us. My view has been that it should be calmly and 
deliberately looked toward this summer, as a plan to 
be adopted in the fall. ***** 

"Brother John and sister M. urge my telling thee 
that they would be very glad to have us, all this 
summer — and I want you to think about it, and do 
what appears to be best. I am willing to come home 
at any time, or I am willing to stay — but one thing is 
certain, if the cholera should come fearfully among 
us, either thou must come here, or I must go to 
Philadelphia. It would be no small trial for me to 
undertake to live in the country, and thou in the 
city. I sincerely hope one of the privileges of my life 
may be to have a constant abiding with thee. My 
brother and sister are very kind indeed, and it is 
sweetly pleasant here, but my husband is not here, 
and I should be sorry if anything in this world could 
compensate for the society of thee, my dearest friend. 
* * * If any plan has been decidedly approved, it 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 83 

would, perhaps, be better not to let anything that I 

have said unsettle it. Han. is perched up in the large 

rocking chair by me, and looks as if she had much 

love for her father and aunts — to the latter, mine 

affectionately ; the former knows he is tenderly beloved 

by his own 

"Mary." 

Their plans being finally decided upon, our 
grandmother thus wrote to the loved home 
circle at Park Plain, where there was ever 
manifested a tender and helpful interest in all 
that concerned her : 

" Philadelphia, 7th month, 1832. 
" In the comparative quiet of a First-day afternoon, 
while our household are mostly at meeting, and the baby 
is sleeping, I take up the pen to write to the dear friends 
of my former home. Our little Hannah, although she is 
a good girl, does demand a great deal of her mother's 
attention, and the latter has, probably, not learned to 
bestow it as judiciously as she ought, or she might 
find leisure to commune more frequently with absent 
friends. But true it is that I have not lived in for- 
getfulness of you, or of the pleasant sojourn we had 
among you ; and thy kind notes, my dear mother, 
have been truly acceptable. I feel grateful for the 
anxiety and concern you have felt that we might do 



84 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

right in the change we are about to make. I did 
not like to conclude upon it without consulting you, 
but that did not seem practicable. We have for some 
time been talking about next fall as probably being 
the time, if we should live, for moving into another 
house — the charge of an infant added to the cares of 
such a large family, proving rather more than I, with 
my inexperience and incapacities, could comfortably 
get through with. But, above all, we are influenced 
by the consideration of the difficulty of training up 
children in the way they should go, in so public a 
situation — so connected with a large school. A little 
child would be more or less the pet and plaything of 
all the scholars, and we could not but believe that we 
must some time move, and that perhaps it would be 
easier now than at any other time. The change is, in 
many respects, a trial to us all. Sisters H. and S., to 
whom it is the greatest trial, thought they would 
rather commence housekeeping while Franklin was at 
home. He contemplates going out next fall, which is 
the reason we give place so soon. But the awful 
visitation of sickness and death, which is hovering 
over our city, veiling all plans for the future in uncer- 
tainty, causes us to delay taking a house for a month 
or two, especially as the country seems well to suit 
little H. and her mother, and brother John and sister 
Mary press our spending the time there. But it feels 
to me I must see Woodbury first, yet the trouble of 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 85 

going about with a baby, and the disarrangement a 
baby makes in a household, is discouraging, although 
you did so kindly and patiently bear with us. But we 
can scarcely calculate a day ahead. If the cholera 
should come seriously into our city, unless Mickle 
could leave too, I should prefer abiding quietly at 
home — indeed, there does not seem any place to flee 
to for safety, but to the footstool of Christ." 

At the close of the summer, the little family 
were once more happily together in their new 
house, 153 N. Ninth street. Within the next 
four years, three other children were born, 
Sarah, James and Mary. With these little 
ones around her, the young mother led a busy 
life, full of household cares, which were much 
lightened by her husband's hearty, loving sym- 
pathy, and his readiness to lend a helping hand. 
During one of her visits to Woodbury, he thus 
wrote to her of the home she' had left : 

"Philadelphia, 7th month, 16th, 1833. 

" * * * At dinner time went to sisters' and then 

to 153. Really, the parlors looked so pleasant and 

seemed so like home, sweet home, that all other 

places, however comfortable, and however kind and 



S6 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

lovely their inhabitants, cannot be compared unto it ; 
and if my dear wife had greeted me with her smiling, 
beaming countenance, without whom home ever seems 
desolate, and little Hannah had come running and 
swinging both arms, and saying ' Dah, Dah ! ' and if I 
had seen little Sally's smiling face, coming to get the first 
kiss, my happiness would have been greatly heightened. 
But I comfort myself by remembering you are in the 
country inhaling the pure breezes, and bracing your- 
selves against a return to the city." 

In the midst of her many duties, she thus 
wrote to her friend Catherine Wistar : 

"9th month, 8th, 1833. 
" It needs the stimulating influence of warm interest 
to overcome surrounding impediments to letter writing 
— with one baby sitting at the table by me, flourishing 
a rattle, and letting it fall almost every minute ; the 
other running around the room, seeking some mis- 
chievous employment. Thou mayst enquire : ' Is that 
the most appropriate moment thou couldst find to have 
a little quiet converse with a friend?' Times and 
seasons, my dear Catherine, are not always at a 
mother's command, at least of one who is so miserable 
an economist of the minutes as they flit by, as thy 
poor friend, who is often fairly out of conceit of 
herself, and feels sometimes a degree of humiliation 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 8? 

at her extreme smallness of capacity for the compre- 
hensive duties of a wife and mother. 

" I would not spoil my dear little babes, Catherine, 
if I knew how to help it — but, alas ! Satan will spoil 
them, and their mother feels as if she had no capacity 
whatever to guide them aright. But help is laid upon 
One that is mighty — this is comforting, when one 
feels so weak and sin-worn." 

At the close of a long letter. 

"12th month, 2d, 1833. ■ 
"Not one word have I said about my babies — at 
any rate, they are well, and just as dear and well- 
beloved, and self-willed, and fractious, and, alas! as 
badly managed as almost anybody's babies." 

One who had exceptional opportunities of 
observing our grandmother at this period of 
her life, thus writes of her : 

" Your dear grandmother was of sweet, even temper, 
and had a great deal of patience and firmness, and 
great integrity of character. She was born to rule, but 
did it in so quiet a way, that one was unaware of being 
ruled. She was sincere and noble in her friendships, 
and I positively do know she never would betray a 
trust. She was not interested in petty or trifling 



88 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

things, but exercised a refining and elevating influence 
on those around her, and drew young people in the 
direction of that which was highest and best." 

On 1 2th month, 12th, 1834, our grandmother 
met with a great loss in the death of her 
beloved father. At his bedside she wrote to 
her husband the following hasty note : 

" 3d day, morn, half-past 4. 
" My beloved husband : — It is in the dying chamber 
of a very precious father, I write to say, we would, in- 
deed, be very glad to have thee here, and hope thou 
wilt return with J. Dear father continued yesterday 
very much as thou left him — but all night has seemed 
to be passing through the valley of the shadow of 
death. His sufferings appear great, and as if the last 
conflict would be severe. Oh, it is very hard to witness 
his suffering ! He seems entirely sensible, knew me a 
little while since, and kissed me so affectionately. His 
articulation was very difficult all day yesterday, and 
the last thing I heard him say distinctly was : ' Dear 

" Thy own sorrowing Wife." 

From her own home she afterward wrote to 
Park Plain as follows : 

" I feel as if I must say a few words to the bereft 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 89 

ones of my dear father's family — my mother, and my 
brother — although it is almost eleven o'clock. I want 
to know how you got through the important busi- 
ness of this week. ***** 

" Ah, how you must have missed the kind hand that 
used to be so careful in such matters ! My mind 
hourly visits you with the most affectionate interest, 
while the natural feelings are often touched, in looking 
mentally at the vacant chair standing by the fireside, 
and in missing the well-known footstep — the footstep 
that has trodden there so long, and so often, with all a 
father's kindness, has gone from room to room, and from 
place to place, for our comfort and accommodation. 
Now all passed away — gone forever ! But very sweet 
and precious and favored was the end of all. Truly 
we have had many sorrows and many favors." 

In the business crisis of 1837 came another 
heavy trial. In our grandfather's memoir is 
told the story of his failure in the dry-goods 
business. To a man of his high sense of honor, 
and to his wife, whose sensitive nature felt all 
her husband's anxieties, and shared in all his 
disappointments, this was a time of great suffer- 
ing ; but they then, as ever, followed the rule 
which had always guided them through life. 
They sought to know the will of their Heavenly 



90 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

Father, and endeavored to be faithful to what 
they believed to be the truly upright and honor- 
able path. The only written record we have of 
our grandmother's feelings at this time, is in a 
letter to her sister-in-law, Sarah W. Haverstick, 
from which the following extract is taken : 

" I have very earnestly desired that we might both 
feel rightly under this, and that we might not seek to 
avoid any suffering or conflict that we ought to be 
introduced into. If it may be over-ruled for our good, 
and if only we can in this matter stand blameless before 
men, and before the Church, and before the great and 
holy Head of the Church, anything that will follow, 
may, I think, be easily borne." 

Her sister, Hannah M. Whitall, had pre- 
viously written of her: " Dear sister Mary is 
very efficient in herself, and has great strength 
of mind," and these characteristics were shown 
in all her conduct during this trying time. She 
most earnestly joined in her husband's determi- 
nation that his debts should be fully paid, and did 
all that was possible by her economical manage- 
ment of their household affairs, and her loving 
sympathy and encouragement, to further his 
efforts in that direction. They were most 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 9 1 

scrupulous in avoiding all self-indulgence and 
unnecessary expense, and so fully drew their 
children into sympathy with them in the attain- 
ment of the object they had in view, that the 
desire for any especially luxurious gratification 
was at once quelled by the remembrance of the 
oft-repeated words : "Wait until father gets his 
debts paid." 

Before her husband had decided as to his 
future business course, he wrote to her as fol- 
lows : 

" Harrisburg, 7th month, 19th, 1837. 

« * * * j ft en f ee j vei y anxious about the 
future, and in much uncertainty about what course to 
pursue in my business. Oh, that I may be favored to 
see what is the Divine will in this important decision ! 
My own inclination is to reduce my business into a 
very small compass, so that I should not, in any con- 
tingency, be again introduced into difficulties similar 
to those I am now and have been passing through, 
and yet I want to keep in that situation and business 
in which I can the most easily repay my deficiencies. 
It is really very difficult to know what to do, and, my 
dear, I rely upon thy help in this matter — so now, 
please give thy mind to it, and let us unitedly pray 
that best direction may be afforded. I feel that with- 



92 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

out this, very uncertain will be the end of all my 
endeavors." 

Early in 1838, our grandfather entered into 
business with two relatives, George M. Haver- 
stick and William Scattergood, who were en- 
gaged in the manufacture of glassware. His 
prospects here were good, and at the close of 
his first year, our grandmother thus gratefully 
wrote to him from Park Plain : 

V 1st month, 4th, 1839. 
" The first time that the date of the New Year has 
struck me, dearest, is in thus attempting to commune 
with thee ; and with a crowd of remembrances that rise 
up in a hasty, momentary glance at the past, I feel that 
gratitude for continued mercies and favors ought most 
warmly to glow. I often think that, notwithstanding 
many sorrows have compassed our walk together, 
blessings have been richly and most undeservedly 
dispensed." 

During the next few years all went on very 
quietly and happily in the household over which 
she ruled — a true helpmeet to her husband, not 
only in his daily cares, but also in his inner, 
spiritual life. In all the temptations of mercan- 
tile life he had her sympathy and her prayers. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 93 

On one occasion, when he was absent on busi- 
ness, she sent to him this tender little warning : 

" I was going to tell thee this morning when thou 
left, but was so sleepy, to remember, dear, that ' Sin 
sticketh close between buying and selling,' and that 
thou mayst be preserved from wounding the Witness 
for Truth, is certainly the ardent desire of thy very 
unworthy wife, who will say farewell for to-night. 
May thy rest be sweet and refreshing." 

Some pictures of her home life, as her little 
family grew up around her, may be gathered 
from her letters, which grew shorter and more 
hastily written as her household cares increased. 

To J. M. Whitall, (no date) : 

" Here I sit, my dear husband, in our nursery — thy 
solitary wife ; and while my hands have been busied 
in mending stockings, my mind has been chiefly 
occupied in thinking about my wandering and best 
beloved one, and vainly wondering, whether the dense 
fog, which envelops us, has obscured his path. I 
think it was settled thou wast not to travel at night, 
and that is a relief. I do entreat of thee not to do it. 

"Thy letter arrived this morning, and was most 



94 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

welcome. It found me engaged in darning holes in 
the nursery carpet, and greatly contributed to cheer 
me in the employment, and although the work was 
homely, it did not prevent the flow of affectionate feel- 
ings, or quell the arising of grateful emotions that such 
was my husband, and that my husband was thou. I 
have quite reproached myself since thou left, that I 
was so selfish in thinking so much that I was the 
solitary lone one — left behind — instead of sympathizing 
more with thee, who has thus to travel and endure 
trial and danger, in order to make us comfortable at 
home. Do, please, excuse me ; but thou must allow 
me to feel sadly bereft, and as if home was hardly 
here, without thee. ***** 

" Third day I went to meeting, and we had, I 
thought, a good meeting, although little was said. 
Thy poor wife was made to feel her great need — her 
helplessness, her hopelessness, without the blessed 
Saviour's interposing aid. And oh, it is consolatory to 
believe that He is indeed a very compassionate Re- 
deemer, and to feel that He is to be sought, not 
through others, but immediately, in the secret of the 
soul, even when no man knoweth. * * * 

" I must bid thee adieu for to-night, desiring most 

truly the blessing of preservation upon my precious 

husband, and his very, very poor and undeserving, 

yet 

" Tenderly attached Wife." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 95 

To J. M. Whitall : 

" ist day, eve. 

" Thou will not be very proud, dearest, of thy 
daughters' performances on the previous page. They 
have written several letters to thee on the slate, but 
made out poorly when they undertook to do it on 
paper. How hast thou been passing the day, my 
love ? I hope thy body has found some comfortable 
resting-place, and thy precious mind been renewed in 
spiritual strength. * * * * * * 

" Our Hannah did not seem well to-night — looked 
like getting the cold which we have all had. I bathed 
her head and tied it up well, and hope she will be better 
to-morrow. Do, dearest, begin to talk in thy letters 
about coming home — a very interesting- subject to her 
who is most tenderly and affectionately 

"Thy loving Wife. 
" Adieu to-night." 

" 2d day, noon. 

" * * * The children all seem very well to-day, 

but it was so rainy I did not send H. and S. to school. 

Thy letter was truly interesting to one who feels an 

interest in all thou says and does, and it is very kind 

and like thyself to write so frequently. Mary is 

standing by me, hindering with all her winning ways ; 

she says she wants to write, ' My dear father, oh, my 

dear father.' James sends his love and wants to see thee 

'so bad.' The children are all around me so thick 



g6 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

and close, that it really seems to banish everything 

from my mind, but love for their father — which ever 

abides largely in 

"The heart of thy Mary." 

To J. M. Whitall : 

" 5th day, afternoon. 

"I suppose the fact is, dearest, that thou left home 
yesternoon, but so much longer does it seem to me, 
that I am hardly willing to believe that only one day 
of thy absence has passed away. 

" * * * The children have been improving since 
thou left, and all slept well last night — not any of 
them waking, until little 'Mamie,' at morning dawn, 
wanted to get into ' zure bed ' — saying, ' Let me put my 
arms round thy neck, and thee put thine around 
mine, and I will love thee hard.' They have all had 
good appetites to-day, and I have promised James that 
he should walk down to the store with Eliza to take this, 
and it will have to be brief, for they must get off before 
it is late. Mary is unmanageably lively; Sally, I guess, 
may go to school to-morrow. Our cousins, Elizabeth 
and Anne, lodged here last night, and it did not seem 
nearly so lonely — although no person, nor hundred 
persons, could fill up the vacancy thy absence leaves. 

"This is but a note, for really I was so busy to-day 
mending clothes, that, although I could think con- 
stantly of my own dear husband, I could not find the 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 97 

time for writing. The children are all in the nursery — 
Hannah and Sally sewing, James keeping quiet for his 
walk, and Mary pursuing her own wayward fancies ; 
and thy own wife stepped into the parlor just to tell 
thee we are all well, and love thee most tenderly, and 
desire thee to use all diligence in returning to us." 

To J. M. Whitall : 

"First day, after dinner, my dear husband — -and I 
have seated myself a few minutes, to say a few words 
to thee. The children are variously employed about 
me — Hannah in writing to thee. Their mother feels as 
if the house was bereft of one whose being and well- 
being greatly affect her happiness. The evening 
thou left, I sat quilting until eleven o'clock. It 
was a beautiful evening, and my mind went with thee 
toward New York. The next morn, Jim and J arose 
and went to market before breakfast — and, although I 
did ask a man who had only veal and pork, how he 
sold his mutton, I made out pretty well. This 
morning I went to meeting, taking Sally and James. 
The latter was asked by his uncle George to sit with 
him, but he preferred staying with his mother. He 
was a very good boy — sits stiller than his sisters, 
which I ascribe to his father's better tuition. * * * 
It has been a beautiful day — we can hardly look 
above, or around about us, without seeing and feeling 

7 



98 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

that the great and merciful Controller of the universe 
rules and reigns most beneficently. Oh, how happy 
might we be, had we hearts to love and praise Him as 
we ought! I wonder not that the Psalmist, whose 
heart was so filled with holy fervor and heavenly love, 
should exclaim : ' Let everything that hath breath, 
praise the Lord.' 

" Hannah's letter is of her own making entirely. I 
thought how much it would gratify them, if one of thy 
letters were to come endorsed to them. Jim was 
expecting to write thee a letter, but is not now at 
home. It is time for Eliza to take this round and 
bring the children home. So, farewell, my own 
dearest, from thine, most lovingly and unwaveringly, 

" Mary." 
To J. M. Whitall : 

"Philadelphia, 3d month, 1st, 1841. 
" My dear husband : — Thy welcome letter arrived 
this morning, and really comforted me — for I had just 
told mother, that if no intelligence came to-day, I had 
pretty much concluded to be very uneasy. Mother 
came up this morn, and is most pleasantly with us. I 
accompanied her this afternoon to call at T. G's, and 
hearing of J. B's illness, away from home on business, 
made me quickly turn in thought to my wandering 
husband, and hope he would be especially careful. I 
am very glad thou art independent enough, to put on 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 99 

two coats when others only wear one. Do, dearest, 
take good care of thyself, for thou art very important 
and precious to a household here, who feel, indeed, 
when thou art absent, that the main-spring of their 
earthly joys at least is missing. Hannah told thee that 
dear little Johnnie has a tooth — he is a very good boy 
— demeans himself beautifully, and has been less dis- 
turbing at night than usual. He sleeps very sweetly, 
and awakes in the morning full of loveliness. * * * 
" Mother and I have been conversing most of the 

time I have been writing. 

" Thy own Wife." 

One specimen must be inserted of the lines of 
loving appreciation, which the absent husband 
was wont to send to "the sweetest wife man 
ever had." 

J. M. Whitall to M. Whitall : 

"Baltimore, 9th month, 3d, 1840. 
"Wilt thou not think, dear wife, when thou receives 
this, that thou hast a baby of a husband, who can 
hardly be a day from home without pestering thee 
with his love epistles? But, truly, the fault, if any 
there be, is all thine own. Often in my absence does 
my heart turn with indescribable fondness toward my 
sweet wife, the most precious gift of my Heavenly 
Father, for whose kindness in thus bestowing upon 



100 MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 

His unworthy creature so dear a companion and near 
friend, I feel very sensibly my want of gratitude. May 
we, my dear, so love Him and try to serve Him, 
that He may be pleased to continue His favors 
toward us. He is not a hard Master, but is full of 
mercy and compassion — therefore, my soul hopes and 
trusts in Him. 

"At nine this morning I go to Washington, and, if 
nothing prevent, will try to be at home Sixth day 
night about eleven o'clock; but don't, dearest, sit up; 
thou knows when I knock thou easily hears, and I 
patiently wait until thou opens the door to let me in. 
Farewell, my precious — kiss my children for their 
father, and thy increasingly attached husband, 

"J. M. Whitall." 

The glass manufacturing business, into which 
our grandfather had entered, was prosperous, 
and in 1850 he had the "inexpressible pleasure " 
of paying off his entire indebtedness, principal 
and interest. This was a time of reverent 
joy and thankfulness in the family. The spirit 
of humility that seemed to cover their father 
and mother, is well remembered by their 
children, as also the manifestation of joyful 
satisfaction, at having accomplished a long 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. IOI 

desired end. The thought was ever upheld 
that this result was owing to the blessing of the 
Lord, and was always remembered, as our 
grandfather wrote many years afterward, as 
" cause of deep gratitude and praise to our 
Heavenly Father." 

During these years of self-denial there were 
sorrows of a different nature to be endured. 
Their baby boy born ioth month, 5th, 1840, 
and named John S. Whitall, after his grand- 
father, lived only long enough to endear all to 
him by his loveliness, and his bright and winning 
ways, and to leave a sadly vacant place in the 
home circle. " Little Johnnie" was the pet 
and delight of his brother and sisters, and his 
brief two and a half years have left a memory 
of baby sweetness, that has not yet passed 
away. Those who witnessed it, can never 
forget the devoted mother's stricken coun- 
tenance when, holding in her lap her baby boy, 
she suddenly discovered him in a convulsion, 
ushering in an attack of pneumonia which 
proved fatal. This great trial was borne by the 
sorrowing parents with their ever faithful sub- 
mission to whatever came from their Heavenly 



102 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

Father's hand. In the midst of their grief they 
looked away from earth, and by faith beheld 
their child safely gathered from the evil, to come. 
A year afterward, in writing to her daughter, 
Sarah, at boarding school, the bereaved mother 
said : 

"* * * Yet, in very truth, can I now rejoice 
that our dear little Johnnie is in heaven : 

'I look around and see 

The evil ways of men, 
And, oh, beloved child, 
I'm more than reconciled 

To thy departure then. 
God took thee in His mercy, 

A lamb untasked, untried ; 
He fought the fight for thee — 
He gained the victory, 

And thou art sanctified.' " 

Although the years preceding the payment 
of their debts had been those of close economy, 
a very generous hospitality had been exercised 
toward their relatives and friends. Those living 
in the country were urged to come and stay 
whenever it suited them, and the hearty exhort- 
ation not to forget that " the latch-string is 
always outside," is well remembered. Much 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. IO3 

additional care and effort were involved in the 
entertainment of so much company, but all was 
lovingly and cheerfully borne. 

Their children have the brightest memories 
of the home of their early days. The privations 
and self-denial which their parents endured were 
not allowed to press heavily upon them, and 
although they were denied many things that 
money could buy, all that love and self-sacrifice 
could give to cheer their young lives, was bounti- 
fully bestowed. They were taken to a tiny 
cottage at Woodbury to spend their summers. 
It was situated on that part of her father's 
property, of which our grandmother had a 
pleasant view from her bed-room window, in 
the home of her girlhood. In the surrounding 
wood, and by the streams that flowed through 
it, she, as well as her children, found great 
enjoyment, and luxuriated in the freedom of 
country life. She would provide each with 
a rake, and herself leading the little party, 
would spend with them many an hour in the 
frolic of raking up the dead leaves. With 
the bountiful supply of milk and cream 
furnished by her brother from Park Plain, 



104 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

she often surprised the children with a 
treat of ice cream or frozen custard made by 
her own hands. She would frequently invite 
her daughters' young friends from the city, and 
with cheerful, active, personal labor, provide 
pleasant entertainment for the party. The 
good mother made many efforts to tame her 
wild little brood, and endeavored to train them 
in proper and useful employments. They were 
obliged to assist her in her many domestic 
duties, which were rendered doubly onerous by 
the impossibility of keeping more than one 
servant in the little house. Every morning, at 
a certain hour, they were expected to do their 
"task" of sewing, and the well-trained, com- 
petent mother carefully taught them the best 
manner of doing their work. Occasionally 
there was some rebellion at having to perform 
"tasks" during vacation time, and the fingers 
flew fast to get to the end of the seam — for 
what was not in store, when the work was folded 
and put away ? Then came wild romps in the 
woods and up the trees. Dams and waterfalls 
were built in the little streams, and many a gay 
hour was passed paddling in the creek, with a 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. IO$ 

delicious indifference to wet and muddy gar- 
ments. Excursions were made on the topmost 
rails of fences, and many new sorts of fun 
invented, all of which resulted in rosy cheeks 
and fine health. The sober neighbors were 
somewhat scandalized at the wild frolics of the 
city children, and often wondered whether their 
mother knew the full extent of their fun. If she 
did, she wisely appeared unconscious, and the 
joyous exhilaration of those happy summer days 
was without end. 

After their early tea, the mother would often 
lead her little band in a pleasant stroll toward 
the setting sun, and point out to them the 
beauties of the landscape and the glowing sky, 
quoting to them appropriate extracts from 
her favorite poets. As they grew older, she 
endeavored tp divert their interests into quieter 
and more intellectual pursuits, but always in 
some way provided that they should have a 
good time. 

All through her life she had a very humble 
opinion of her own spiritual attainments and 
qualifications, and looked up with so much 
reverence to what she considered her husband's 



106 MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 

advanced position in that respect, that, when he 
was at hand, she preferred that he should 
explain the Scriptures to their children, and 
speak with authority on spiritual matters. She 
was, however, unceasing in holding before them 
the right standard for action, and in teaching 
them their responsibilities, and when they were 
away from home, was very careful that they 
should not suffer for the lack of home instruc- 
tion. When her daughter Sarah, then eleven 
or twelve years old, was at boarding school, 
her mother sent in writing many tokens of 
her tender care in this respect over her absent 
child. Only a few of these have been pre- 
served. Among them are the following ex- 
tracts : 

"6th day, evening. 
" Many and sincere desires, my precious child, go 
forth from thy mother's heart, that thou mayst feel 
increasingly the importance of regulating thy conduct 
upon Christian principles — seeking, in all things, not 
only the approbation of thy friends, who love thee and 
whom thou lovest, but the favor of thy Heavenly 
Father. Temptations abound everywhere — but; if we 
seek aright, strength will be given to resist them." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 10? 

" 6th day, eve. 
"Thou hast very, very often, through each day, my 
dear child, been the subject of my most tender 
thoughts, desiring often that thy young heart might 
be drawn to love thy Heavenly Father, and to obey 
His holy voice." 

In reference to her daughter having omitted 
attending several meetings, from what she 
feared was insufficient cause, she writes : 

"4th day, eve. 

« * * * j am afraid mv dear, thou hast staid at 
home from very slight causes. Please remember thy 
father and mother think it very important to attend 
diligently our religious meetings, and that their 
children should be trained up to do so ; and, I do hope, 
unless thou art really quite too sick to go to meeting, 
that thou will not ask to stay at home. And remem- 
ber, too, my dear, the importance, when there, of 
endeavoring to occupy the time aright, in seeking 
an acquaintance with thy dear Saviour, who makes 
Himself known in the secret of the heart, and often 
graciously condescends to very young children, and 
has promised that, ' They that seek me early shall find 
me.' 

" Farewell, my dear child, from thy 

"Tenderly anxious Mother." 



108 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

During these years of busy housewifely and 
motherly cares, our grandmother was diligent 
in using all the time she could spare, in works 
of benevolence for the needy ones outside her 
own house. Beside her membership in the 
Infant School Association, she also belonged to 
The Shelter, a society for the care of colored 
orphans, and to the Union Benevolent Associa- 
tion. She also engaged in other charitable work. 
In these organizations she exercised an ability 
that made her a valuable member. She had also 
a large circle of relatives and friends, both in the 
city and out of it, and numerous were the 
social claims upon her, in her own house as 
well as elsewhere. Her sympathetic, helpful 
spirit was much sought after in times of sorrow 
and trial, and she was very frequently called 
to minister at the bed of the sick and dying, 
and to support and strengthen the sorrow- 
ing mourners with her presence. Had she not 
possessed more than ordinary good health, and 
a mental energy that was untiring, she could 
not have accomplished what she did. She not 
only provided what was needful for her family, 
but also things not deemed necessary by many 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. IO9 

mothers for the comfort and advancement of 
their children. Her two oldest daughters 
gratefully remember the pains she took to fit 
up a room for them, with a table and desk for 
each, and a long shelf for their books. This 
was done as soon as they were old enough to 
appreciate the opportunity given them to study 
their lessons, and read and write without inter- 
ruption. In this room they were allowed to 
reign undisturbed, except when an extra 
amount of company rendered its use necessary, 
when they were expected cheerfully to vacate 
it. On the birthdays of her children, she always 
had some pleasant surprise prepared. Her 
daughter Sarah remembers that, just before one 
of these occasions, she had manifested a spirit of 
rebellion at some requirement, and, instead of 
receiving punishment, she was surprised as she 
entered this little "study," to see a row of 
plants in bloom on the window sill, and a 
lovely, affectionate letter from her mother, lying 
on the open desk. The letter is lost, but the 
following little note is of a similar character : 

"My dear daughter: — This little basket I have 
fitted up, and now offer to thee, hoping thou may find 



110 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

it convenient and useful, in pursuing that important 
branch of female education — needle-work. Thou wilt 
feel every year, I hope, more and more the importance 
of employing thy time in the pursuit or attainment of 
something really useful and valuable, and find it 
increasingly necessary and pleasant, to be more attent- 
ive to domestic duties and employments. 

" But, far above anything else, do I desire, that thou 
mayst give more earnest heed to the ' things that make 
for peace.' Thou art not too young to think very 
seriously on heavenly things, and our very merciful 
Heavenly Father loves little children who turn their 
young hearts unto Him, and are fearful of offending 
Him, and He will fill their souls with peace, and make 
them very affectionate and kind to one another. 

Accept the love and best wishes of thy 

" Mother." 

The following extracts are taken from a 
short diary kept in the year 1849 : 

" 1st month, 1st, 1849. 
" In entering upon a New Year, I have been led to 
look back upon the past, and to number the many 
mercies that have marked its fast fleeting days. That 
we remain around the hearth, an unbroken circle for 
so many years, enjoying health and innumerable other 
blessings, is truly cause for deep and abounding grati- 
tude. But, oh, that our hearts were more given up to 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. Ill 

love and serve our Heavenly Father ! At this moment, 
this feels to me to be the one thing to be craved for 
myself, my precious husband, and dear children. The 
dear children — draw them, oh, gracious Father, to 
thyself. Cause them to feel there is nothing in this 
world worth their pursuit, if they neglect to seek the 
1 Pearl of great price.' 

" The year that has just closed, has numbered among 
the silent dead, one beloved member of our family 
band — our precious sister, H. W. Tatum. She was 
unexpectedly taken from us the early part of Fourth 
month, last. We esteemed it a favor, that it was so 
ordered, that she closed her life at our house, and that 
we could all be around her dying bed and witness the 
composure with which she met the summons to depart. 
She had very little suffering, and we had the consoling 
assurance that her ransomed spirit was received into 
glory. To her dear husband it has, indeed, been a 
close bereavement, an irreparable loss. May the 
preserving power of the good Shepherd of Israel, be 
about him and his household ! And oh, may we all 
be drawn near unto the blessed Jesus, seeking His love 
and favor more than any earthly gain, or earthly 
enjoyment!" * * * * * * 

"4th month, 2 1 st, 1849. 
"The close of the week of our Yearly Meeting, 
which has truly been to many a season of mourning 



112 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

and lamentation — yet there were some little seasons 
in which the clouds seemed to be lifted up, and we 
were permitted to behold a gleam of light, and feel 
the warming influences of the Sun of Righteousness. 
Oh, that He will arise with healing in His wings, 
else, shall we not utterly perish, and die of this sore 
sickness which has spread over our Yearly Meeting ? 
' Why will ye die, oh house of Israel ? ' is the entreat- 
ing language that often mentally goes forth. How earn- 
estly do I crave, amid the trials and discouragements 
that are around about, that we may be permitted to draw 
near unto Thee, oh, Thou Father of mercies, and God 
of all consolation, taking our precious children with us, 
and under the shadow of Thy wing find a quiet and 
safe abiding place ! As to our religious society, where, 
perhaps, we have too securely reposed — our resting- 
place seems as it were all broken up, and it may be 
to teach us, and oh, that it may have that blessed 
tendency, to seek for rest and consolation only in 
Thee!" 



CHAPTER IV. 

1850-1874. 

IN the latter part of 1850 our grand- 
parents removed to No. 1317 Filbert 
Street. Never can any other house possess 
such a charm to their grandchildren. It is 
connected in our earliest memories with all 
sorts of childish delights, and has many pre- 
cious and sacred associations to those of us 
who grew old enough to appreciate something 
beside the love, the freedom and the fun, 
that we found there. How delightful when we 
first caught sight of the brown stone steps and 
the front door ! What a loving welcome always 
awaited us within ! The large parlors were 
not too large for us to fill to overflowing when 
we all met there. Nothing ever tasted so good 
as the bountiful meals spread on the large 
table in the bright, sunny dining room, around 
which we clustered with such hearty appetites. 

The dear ''Grandpa and Grandma" were the 

8 113 



I 14 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

centre from which all our happiness seemed to 
radiate. There was never a lovelier picture than 
that presented by them, as they sat in their 
accustomed chairs, one at each end of their 
library table, looking with love and tenderness 
on the merry group of children who so joyfully 
gathered in their presence. In every part of 
the house there was a sense of pleasure and 
freedom. In the pantry we foraged without 
fear and without remorse. The oranges, the 
lumps of sugar, the nuts and raisins, the pre- 
served ginger, and, above all, the slices of 
white mountain cake, which were appropriated 
by hungry young mouths, were as delicious as 
they were numberless. Our grandmother 
would appear perfectly innocent of it all, save 
for the glance of quiet amusement with which 
she surveyed emptiness where there should 
have been plenty. Dear grandma ! she dis- 
creetly turned her back to a great deal of 
mischief, which must often have caused her care 
and inconvenience, watched over us with the 
tenderest interest, and was truly sympathetic 
with our joys and sorrows. 

When our grandparents first moved to Filbert 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 115 

Street, their own children were just emerging 
from their happy childhood, and in five years 
all had married and left their beloved home. 
To it, however, they returned, with all their 
interests, and the loving mother went forth 
at every time of need, to give her help, her 
counsel and her sympathy. The unwearied 
care she manifested in all that concerned her 
children was wonderful. She entered into all 
their experiences, and none of their needs 
failed to enlist her earnest efforts in their 
behalf. Beside her children, there were other 
young mothers who looked to her for aid and 
sympathy, which she freely bestowed, often at 
the cost of her own comfort and convenience. 
A number of the houses in the immediate 
neighborhood of our grandparents' residence, 
were occupied by their warm, personal friends. 
On the opposite side of the street lived their 
valued friends, M. C. and S. W. Cope, one of 
whose daughters their son married. Their 
dear sister-in-law and intimate friend, Amy Y. 
Tatum, with her daughter, and the beloved 
sisters, M. A. and S. Longstreth, also lived in 
houses nearly opposite, while adjoining was 



Il6 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

the residence of Elizabeth W. Wistar, and two 
doors below that of Elizabeth Bailey and her 
sisters, Mary Ann, Susan and Sarah Loyd. 
There was much unity of thought and interests 
in these various households, and a constant 
interchange of pleasant, social intercourse. 
They were all members of Twelfth Street 
Meeting, and encouraged and strengthened 
each other in their religious concern and 
faithful service for the church. The young 
people of their acquaintance, used playfully 
to call the square in which all these 
Friends lived, "The Saints' Rest," but it was 
more truly the scene of their active good 
works. 

In 1856 our grandparents built a cottage at 
Atlantic City. This they named Storm Tide, 
from its situation close to the sea-shore, 
just beyond reach of high water. Here, 
in the summer time, they surrounded them- 
selves with their children and grandchildren. 
At that date Atlantic City consisted of but a 
few private houses and one or two hotels, and 
it was very difficult to provide for such a large 
family, but the dear grandmother cheerfully 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 117 

and energetically took up her house-keeping 
burdens. 

I was but a child when the cottage was sold, 
but cannot look at it now without bright memo- 
ries of warm welcomes and good times. I can 
see the dear grandma moving about the garden, 
taking such an interest in the grass and flowers, 
which were cultivated with so much difficulty in 
the barren soil. She used especially to enjoy 
the bouquets of elder blossoms and wild roses, 
which her grandchildren would sometimes pick 
for her in the woods. 

Many were her cares at Storm Tide. If her 
children or grandchildren were not well at 
home, they were warmly invited to Atlantic 
City, and assured that their presence would 
cause no additional care, but be a true pleasure 
and delight. There were several cases of 
illness among the little ones, at different times, 
in which their beloved grandma manifested 
her ability as nurse, and her good judgment, 
as to the condition and needs of the patient. 
So sure were the grandchildren that she could 
comfort them and alleviate their distresses, that 
one of them, whether at home or at her grand- 



I 1 8 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

parents' house, felt that she could only be 
relieved from pain by having grandma's cool 
hand placed on her forehead. When a little 
grand-daughter was recovering from a severe 
illness, the doctor pronounced her still to be in 
a serious condition, because of a heavily coated 
tongue, and his visit left the anxious mother in 
a state of great despondency. Grandma went 
quietly to the kitchen and superintended the 
broiling of a tender piece of steak, which she 
brought to the invalid, telling her to chew the 
beef and swallow the juice. This was done, 
and as its result, the tongue was found to be in 
a natural condition, and it was evident that 
nothing was needed but grandma's prescription 
of "plenty to eat." She used often laughingly 
to say that she "saved Bess from starvation." 
Storm Tide was sold in about ten years, but 
before disposing of it, our grandparents bought 
a farm near Haddonfield, N. J., called ' The 
Cedars, which became another paradise for 
their grandchildren. In the summer time, it 
seemed literally to overflow with young people. 
In the cherry trees and around the swing, 
reading in the shade or making mud-pies in the 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. II9 

road ; everywhere there were groups of different 
sizes and ages, engaged in the pleasures best 
suited to their tastes. On the piazza, in two 
large rocking chairs, with daughters and sons 
gathered around them, might be seen the loved 
heads of the family group, to whom gratitude 
was due for all the pleasures provided. I can 
see the dear grandma at other times, in her 
cool lawn wrapper and snowy cap, moving 
along the piazza with a plate in her hand, and 
the grandchildren swarming from all sides, like 
bees, to share the welcome lunch which she bore. 
How lovingly would she look on the hungry 
group, to provide for whose appetites must 
have been a daily toil and care to her ! After 
her busy life in the winter time, it would seem 
that her summers ought to have brought her 
more rest, and she sometimes used to speak of 
the enjoyment she found in the " precious 
quiet," when she could obtain it. Our grand- 
father used laughingly to say : " Mother only 
loves the ' precious quiet ' when she has plenty 
of people to enjoy it with her," and this was so . 
far true, in that she could not be content with 
what appeared selfish enjoyment, but always 



120 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

was looking for some one with whom she could 
share her blessings. She used to talk long- 
ingly of the time when all that she had to do 
would be finished, and she would be at leisure, 
or, as she put it, get to the "beyond place;" 
but the time never came on earth when her 
loving ministrations ceased. 

She much enjoyed having visits from her own 
personal friends at this summer home, and often 
found it difficult to get a time when children 
and grandchildren were not too numerous to 
permit it. If Friends from a distance were in 
the city during the summer, they would be 
invited to spend a few days at The Cedars and 
partake of its bounteous cheer. All who met 
there, cannot fail to remember her cordial, 
affectionate welcome, and her very polite atten- 
tion. Even the young children can recollect 
her courtesy to them, as though they were 
guests worthy of especial consideration. She 
would even rise to provide seats for those 
whose pleasure it should be and was to wait 
upon her, and readiness to wait on others and 
thoughtful politeness were ever characteristic 
of her. Although she was so devoted to her 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 121 

own family, she found time and energy for many 
other interests. She instituted a Mother's 
Meeting among the poor colored people in 
Bedford street, to which she gave a great deal 
of attention, endeavoring to elevate and instruct 
them spiritually, while giving them temporal 
assistance. This led, at her suggestion, to the 
foundation of the St. Mary Street First day 
school, in which she, for many years, acted as 
joint superintendent with our grandfather. 
When she withdrew from it, her departure was 
much regretted by the warm-hearted scholars, 
and until the end of her life she retained an 
interest in them, doing all she could to aid and 
strengthen Mary Madara, a devoted teacher of 
the school, who dedicated her life to the work 
of visiting the scholars in their homes, and ' 
ministering to both their temporal and spiritual 
needs. The successful and valuable work of 
the St. Mary Street school is fully described in 
our grandfather's memoir. 

Our grandmother was also, for many years, 
a manager of the "Widow's Asylum," in which 
she worked faithfully and with great interest, 
and when advancing years and feeble health 



122 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

obliged her to resign her membership in the 
Association, it was with much regret to herself, 
as well as to her fellow workers. To many 
other benevolent works that came in her way, 
she lent a helping hand, and was always 
regarded as one ready to give her interest and 
assistance wherever needed. The calls that 
were made upon her for sympathy and aid were 
incessant, and her children used to entreat her 
not to wear herself out in the service of others, 
but she was never willing to send any one away 
without at least hearing what they had to say. 
It was her custom not to lie down to rest with- 
out leaving her door open, in order that she 
might be readily roused if any one wanted her. 
Her letters to her children, while embracing 
many subjects, are chiefly memorials of her 
unfailing sympathy and helpful interest, and 
her constant efforts to promote their welfare in 
every way. It is only by reading them all, that 
one can fully understand the wonderful love 
and care which they so beautifully manifest. 
The few extracts here given are selected with a 
view to illustrating these motherly traits, and 
are necessarily so curtailed, on account of their 



MEMOIR OF MARY WH1TALL. 1 23 

personal nature, that they but poorly portray all 
that she did, in the midst of her busy life, for 
her children and their families : 

" 5th day, evening, 8 o'clock. 
" My dearest S. : — Thou mayst well wonder, sitting 
in thy ease and quiet, that I should have been so 
unprepared with my basket, but so it was. Yesterday 
was Monthly Meeting, a long meeting, and a good 
one — home to dinner and company. Afternoon, down 
to the House of Industry to cut out and fit — home after 
dark. This morning at the Widow's Asylum, a 
difficult case on hand — two naughty old ladies kept us 
until dinner time ; but this afternoon I did get the 
zephyrs, etc., and I am quite anxious to see Bessie's 
hood finished. Last evening Ellen came here, and 
said she would like to live with thee as nurse, if thee 
would take her sister as waiter. This afternoon I went 
to see her sister. 

" And now I have said enough about " girls," and 
my paper is full, so I will say farewell for to-night, 
hoping your slumbers will be peaceful. You must 
look toward coming to Philadelphia the last of next 
week." 

She often took charge of her grandchildren 
when their parents wished to leave home, or 



124 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

when she thought her daughters needed a relief 

from care. The following extract is taken from 

one of the full reports she was accustomed on 

these occasions to write to the absent young 

mothers, telling them just what they would like 

to hear : 

"4th day evening, 9 o'clock. 

" My dear Daughter : — I suppose I could not 
fail in pleasing thee, if I take up the pen to tell 

thee about , especially as I can give such a good 

account. His grandpa, after the wedding was over, 
and he had taken Jane Johnson and Regina Shober 

home, went to for him, and he came home 

as bright as a lark, bringing a gun with him as a 
loan, which greatly delighted him, and he forthwith 
went to the imaginary slaying of buffaloes, etc. He 
has been as good as a child could be, and as happy. 
All thy directions have been complied with. He was 
very sweet and good when he went to bed ; his little 
mind seemed sweetly serious. He said, 'First we 
must think about Heavenly Father a little while,' 
and then said his prayer so prettily, it was quite 
touching, and I remembered that ' Even out of the 
mouths of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected 
praise.' It is a real pleasure to have him, he is so 
good, so thou needst not have any fear of his being 
burdensome." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 25 

" 5th day, afternoon. 

" was very good last night, and was dressed by 

grandpa and grandma without any difficulty, and 
without taking much time, he entertaining us mean- 
while, conversing upon wild beasts. Really the fellow 
has a great deal of knowledge ; he asked me if bears 
lived in Africa, and I 'guessed they did,' whereupon 
he remarked they did not live in warm countries, 
they lived in cold countries, because they had such 
warm hair. When I wakened this morning and looked 
at him, he had his eyes open, and he said ' Grandma, 
thee is the king of women.' Wasn't that a fine speech ? " 

" Filbert Street. 
"My dearest S. : — As the man is here with the 
load of potatoes, and did not bring me a note, I must, 
at least, write to inquire why, when we want so much 
to hear from you ? It is truly a stormy day, and I 
have been down to Pine and the Schuylkill, to Moya- 
mensing Prison, or its neighborhood, and to Bedford 
street. Poor old 'Aunt Abby' is, I hope, nearing 
the port of rest and peace. It is a wonderful change 
to contemplate for her, when beholding her present 
condition — clothed in rags and tatters, not able to 
walk a step, her leg broken by a fall, suffering and 
decrepit, and yet rejoicing in the unclouded belief 
that there is a mansion prepared for her. She said 
she was willing ' to wait all sorts of ways, till the dear 



126 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

Master was pleased to come, and then wont I walk 
them golden pavements and sing glory!' Is it not 
marvelous that such a provision is made for even the 
most obscure and poorest upon earth? Ah, and such 
sometimes find entrance like Lazarus, while the rich 
and full are sent empty away! Tell Whitall and 
Bessie that I went to see a poor young mother, who 
came here the other day, looking neat and clean, but 
with a pinched face, as if she did not have enough to 
eat. She said her children did not get sufficient, and 
that their father was ill. I found her story was true — 
there were three nice children, a really charming and 
beautiful baby named Frank. They had very little 
fire, and only about two quarts of coal in the house. 
I think grandpa will send them some. I hope Whitall 
and Bessie will try to be very good, and be very thank- 
ful to their kind Heavenly Father for giving them 
such a good father and mother, and such nice warm 
rooms, and plenty to eat. They will think that is a 
sad tale, so I will tell them something more pleasant. 
Aunt Hannah came in Seventh day through the snow, 
bringing Frank and Sally, and A. and L. Bailey, 
and they went in the yard and made a snow man, and 
enjoyed themselves very much. We hope to have you 
all here together before long, and I find upon just now 
looking at my almanac, that two weeks from to-morrow 
will be Christmas. I was thinking of having our 
Christmas on the twenty-seventh, and then you can all 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 27 

muster on Fourth day. I will write and see what 
Mary says. 

******** 

" I cannot say much more now, but near and dear 
love to you all — a kiss to Whitall and Bessie. I 
thought of thy First day school yesterday, and con- 
cluded it would be very small. 

"Thy loving Mother." 

She sometimes felt that she carried too closely 
on her heart all the varied cares and anxieties 
of her children, and in a letter to her daughter 
Mary, after entering tenderly into her interests, 
she writes : 

" I think I feel too anxious about you all, and have 
quite come to the conclusion that a want of confiding 
faith and hope and trust is a real and sad defect, and 
gives me often unnecessary suffering. I would most 
earnestly desire for thee, my precious Mary, that thou 
wouldst early learn to cast all thy care upon Him, who 
is so abundantly able and willing to care for thee, with 
a firm belief that He ordereth all things well. What 
a pity that the young are often so indifferent to the 
high privilege of having Jesus for their friend, and 
securing for themselves rest and peace in Him ; and 
how deeply deplorable when the aged are without the 
rich consolations of His love and favor ! 



128 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

" A letter from Sarah this morning reports Whitall 
better. I hope to go over to-morrow afternoon to lodge. 
I would go to-day, but the reading company meets 
here, and then Robert called and said he was obliged 
to go to New York to-morrow, and Ella has some- 
thing like measles or chicken pox, so I must go out 
and look after them. ***** 

" I hope thy appetite is good, and that thee will 
soon get strong. The pillow is done, but I thought it 
would be kind to make some cases, and will have them 
finished next week." 

"Storm Tide, 8th month, 23d, 1857. 

" My dearest James : — I think I may be allowed, this 
beautiful, quiet First day afternoon, to say a word or 
two to the absent loved ones, who, though far away, 
have been brought very near in spirit, and to express 
my desire that we may all be more and more in 
earnest to be found passing the time of our sojourning 
here, in the fear of the Lord. And, truly, godliness 
having not only the promise of this life but that 
which is to come, is it not marvelous that we can rest 
satisfied with anything short of the most earnest 
endeavor to press forward toward its attainment? 

" It was kind and considerate to write us direct to 
Atlantic City, and we were rejoiced thou couldst give 
so good an account of thyself, but we are hoping the 
next letter will tell us of a yet more vigorous return of 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. I2Q, 

strength. Newport is a beautiful place, with very 
many superior advantages, but it is too far away to be 
quite convenient or desirable for those who have 
homes and business and close ties and interests in 
Philadelphia. But I can most easily believe thou hast 
found it a lovely, quiet resting-place in thy weak state, 
and I have often fancied I could almost see you in 
that delightful chamber, with the quiet bay before you, 
in all its sunset beauties. I have been very thankful 
that, as thou wast so far away from us all, thou wast 
just where thou art, with just the good, kind, tender 
nurse thou hast, and with the privilege of being 
sheltered under such a paternal roof. It is more, 
Jammie, my son, than falls to the lot of most — ' What 
shall I render, etc.?' 

"What a comfort it is to believe, in this world of 
conflicting opinions, that men of differing views may 
be equally the objects of divine favor and regard, and 
that the important inquiry is not, ' What think ye of 
this or that?' but, 'Lovest thou me?' 

"Has daughter Mary improved in health and 
strength? The love of the household here flows 
toward her, and toward thee, too, dear Jim — especially 
from the heart of your mother." 

" Storm Tide. 

" Dearest S. : — It would have been most pleasant 

9 



I30 MEMOIR OF MARY WHlTALL. 

to spend to-morrow with thee, if I could have done so 
with an easy mind. ***** 

" I am quite longing for the time to come when you 
will all be here, and to see the dear little ones patter- 
ing around. It is exceedingly pleasant here, and yet 
there have been moments when I have most touch- 
ingly realized, that our children were all married and 
gone. But if we are only favored, all of us, to get 
into, and keep in the path which leads to everlasting 
rest and peace, that when the journey of life is over 
we may reunite in the Redeemer's kingdom, what a 
blessing, what a mercy it will be ! And thus it may 
be, if not prevented by our own fault. A nice letter 
from Mary to-day; she seems better in health and 
spirits. Do hurry and get ready to come down. We 
were very glad to hear William was better. It was 
such a charming, quiet day here yesterday; only 
father and I at our parlor meeting, and a right good 
meeting we had. Do kiss the precious children for 
their grandma. ****** 
"Very lovingly, 

"Thy Mother." 

"Filbert Street, 10th month, 8th, 1863. 

"My dearest M.: — I was really glad I had 

gathered a little strength before I heard of all thou 

hadst passed through since going home, and I do want 

very much to know whether you are comfortably 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. I3I 

fixed now. It is a mystery to me how you got on, 
and how thou wilt get through with all the prepara- 
tions for Yearly Meeting. Do not make arrangements 
for taking in a great many lodgers ; it can hardly be 
required of such young beginners, with so many little 
children. Do secure, if possible, a good cook to help, 
and begin the preparations in time, and do not over- 
work thyself. I hope the upholsterer has hung the 
curtains and laid the carpets. * * * And now for 
the chief object of my letter. I want very much, and 
expect to have Minnie and Johnnie here. Grandpa 
says he will go down next Third or Fourth day and 
bring them up. As to clothing, they have an abund- 
ance ; they will see very few people, but they will want 
warm things to drive out with grandma and the new 
horses, and tell Johnnie if he puts the crying all away, 
and doesn't bring any of it with him, I will give him a 
nice hobby-horse. It will be a real pleasure to have 
the children, and I know from my own experience, 
when I had not so much company and care as thou 
hast, that it was a very great relief to sometimes 
send you away, and I was very grateful to friends who 
were willing to take charge of you, and I hope the 
same belief and amiable feeling may fill thy heart. The 
new nurse can then devote herself to Harry and Bonny, 

and win their affections, and keep them in the nursery. 
******** 

" I am quite myself again, and have an excellent 



132 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

appetite, and abundant leisure to enjoy the children ; 
and I have two such nice girls installed into their 
places, that H. K. is very much in the nursery 
sewing, and will dress Johnnie in the morning and 
extend all necessary care through the day, and A. A. 
is here and will make it bright for them. It suits 
father better to come the early part of the week, and I 
know it.will suit thee better to have them come then, 
and you can get your rooms fixed and the cribs moved. 
So do not say a word, for father is coming. If Johnnie 
does not come he will not get his horse. * * * 
Please write at once, and tell me all about thy affairs, 
and say that the children will be ready for father to 
pick them up. Tell them that grandma will be so 
glad to see them, and she is sure they will be so good, 
and we shall have a real nice time. * * * 
" Dearest love to you all, 

" From your loving 

" Mother." 

" Filbert Street, 4th day, evening. 
" My dearest S. : — I was hoping father would go 
over to-morrow, but he has a very bad cold, and it will 
hardly be wise. If we only knew thou wouldst be 
ready, we would send the carriage over for you. And 
I think we will anyhow, for it will be so much safer 
for thee and the baby, and William can bring the 
trunk in the open carriage. So hasten home from 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 33 

Quarterly Meeting, and get ready. I think we shall 
send out for Hannah on Sixth day. She is without a 
girl, and I thought you would so like to be together. 
Poor, dear Mary, my spirit is much with her ; one must 
be in that nursery day after day to know what she and 
that precious child have to pass through. I brought 
Johnnie home with me ; he is a very good boy. 
" Farewell, in the hope of seeing you soon, 
" Thy truly loving 

" Mother." 

The "precious child," alluded to above, was 
a little granddaughter, who was ill from the 
effects of an accident. The following note was 
written to her : 

" I was just going to say in the letter to thy dear 
mother, what I believe I will say to thee, little dear one, 
that thy dear grandpa bought in market a pheasant 
and three birds for thee, and I am going to send them 
down by express this afternoon, and will put in two 
scrap books, which, if thou feels like it, thou can paint 
and make them look as bright as possible. Give the 
little one to Bonnie, and the other one to Johnnie 
or Harry, or keep it thyself, if thou chooses. I send 
also some pictures for thee to cut out. I shall try to 
get a box ready to send down at Christmas. I wish I 
knew what thou wouldst like to have. I am going (this 



134 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

is a secret, mind, and the boys must not know it) to 
send thee some dollars to get ' those chaps ' some 
presents. I know thee has money, but, perhaps, thou 
wilt want to spend that in some other way. Please 
give Johnnie and Harry some of the taffy. 
" Farewell, darling, give love to the boys, 
" From thy loving 

" Grandma." 

" Filbert Street, i 864. 

" We received thy letter, dearest Mary, and were 
grieved to hear of poor little Harry's sad fall, and that 
Minnie dear has weak and feeble days. 

" * * * I am looking and hoping for much from 
change of air, if a way can be found for you to get it, 
and do hope when we get settled at The Cedars that it 
may seem feasible for you to come. Dear, precious 
child, how my heart yearns over her, and her darling 
mother sitting beside her. That the Lord may be near 
you is often by day and by night my earnest desire, 
and may He enable us all to find the blessing which 
we must trust is designed to be found in this cup of 
sorrow. I do feel thankful, my darling child, for the 
support that has been given thee from day to day, 
enabling thee to bear cheerfully all that has come upon 
thee, and for the health and strength which is bestowed, 
and for thy abiding feeling that the loving kindness of 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 35 

the Lord is better than life. He knows all thy 
anxieties and cares and fears, and is, I doubt not, most 
tenderly watching over you." 

"Baltimore, 8th, 24th, 1866. 

" Beloved ones, father dear, and children : — 
Your letters were so very acceptable and interesting, 
that I must immediately thank you for them. The 
invalids are pretty well this morning, Minnie moving 
about from one room to another, and Harry and Bon- 
nie going out to their meals. Johnnie was brought in 
from the Grove, with evident symptoms of measles, 
although he does not seem sick. 

" I have been taking thy advice, dearest, this morn- 
ing, in endeavoring to find some useful occupation, and 
so have been clearing out certain closets and drawers 
with good effect, Mary helping too, bright and cheery. 

" * * * It is a comfort to think of you all being 
with dearest father, although I do not like being away 
all the while. Mary sends a great deal of love, and 
says that I am manifestly in my ' right place, and there 
can't be two right places for one person.' " 

"Baltimore, 9th month, 2d, 1866. 
" My dearest James : — My little note to-day must 
be addressed to thee, as evidence that I have not for- 
gotten that to-morrow will be thirty-two years since 
thou came, a helpless babe, into thy parents' arms. 



I36 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

Neither have I failed to remember, under a deep sense 
of how very poorly I have performed my duties 
toward thee, and how unworthily I have walked, how 
good the Lord has been to thee — giving thee blessings 
from heaven above and the earth beneath — a lovely 
and beloved wife and precious children, and above all 
has drawn thee to thy Saviour, and given thee to feel 
there are no treasures to be compared to the unsearch- 
able riches found in Him. Earnest have been my 
desires, that in all thy ways, thou mayst ' acknowledge 
Him,' and then ' He will direct thy paths.' But there 
must be a willingness to walk in the paths he points 
out, or there will be no progress made. I do not 
believe it will be in accordance with His blessed will, 
that the strength of thy days should be given wholly 
to things pertaining to this life — neither do I believe 
it has been — still it may be a point that will require 
watchfulness and care, and earnest entreaty of the Lord 
that He will direct thy paths, and give thee strength 
to walk therein. 

" We, as a family, have received largely many bless- 
ings and favors, and the inquiry should be earnestly 
raised : ' What shall we render unto the Lord for all 
His benefits ? ' Let us in living faith make the response : 
' We will take the cup of salvation and call upon His 
name.' 

" Give a great deal of love to dear Mary and the 
children. Tell the former I have often been thankful 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 



*37 



she was thy wife. May many days of happy, useful, 
dedicated life be your portion." 

During the visit of two of her daughters to 
the Catskill Mountains, The Cedars enjoyed 
one of those rare intervals, which our grand- 
mother used to call the "precious quiet." In 
the midst of it, she wrote as follows to her 
absent daughters : 

"The Cedars, Sixth day, two o'clock. 
" Well beloveds : — If I have not had a quiet day, I 
do not know where you will find one in this bustling 
world ; although I have been entirely busy, first with 
helping a little to set the house in order, which Cassy 
and Margaret have succeeded in doing nicely — and now 
we are all ready for another set of little trotters — and 
then I copied Carrie's letter, supposing you wished 
the original, and herewith send it. After you left 
yesterday, father and I talked about you, and hoped 
you would have a pleasant time, although it looked 
childreny for a mountain trip. But we concluded, 
' seeing as how you were youngish,' that you would 
enjoy it. Father soon retired to the sofa, and I went 
up stairs for a nap, but it was so intensely quiet I 
couldn't sleep. There was no opening and shutting 
of doors, and no little feet were going patter, patter, 
and it seemed as if even the girls had retired from 



I38 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

public life. However, we had our supper, and a quiet 
evening, and a good night's rest. I wish I might know 
you fared as well. I suppose you are now, at two 
o'clock, just landing at Catskill, and about to com- 
mence that ' six mortal hours ' trip up the mountain. 
I do hope little Gracie had a nice nap on the boat, and 
that Bonnie was wise enough to suck his thumb and 
do likewise. 

" It was quite touching to see Powell last evening, 
putting away the wheelbarrows, spades, etc., and as for 
the poor donkey, she has not said a word ; but a dis- 
tant dove has taken to cooing. 

" I am now going to have a lie down, and a read, 
and then take this letter to Haddonfield, and, perhaps, 
take E. S. a drive, call on A. C, and then meet father 
at the station. 

" Tell the boys I hope they will be as good as they 
were here, and as they will be entirely among strangers, 
they must particularly try not to speak too loud. My 
hand aches with so much writing, and I must conclude, 
with dearest love to you all, 

" Your loving Mother." 

"The Cedars, 7th month, 3d, 1873. 
" My dearest Mary : — Thy letter at hand this 
morning. You have been apprised of the boys' 
arrival, and well being, and hard playing, and some- 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 39 

times restful enjoyment. Harry was pretty sick the 
day after they came — one of his sick headaches he 
said, but he is very well now, and can play as hard as 
ever. He is even now at it, with Bonnie, at one 
o'clock, and a very warm day. The others have all 
settled down to reading, after rather a hard morning's 
work. Whitall came home yesterday, so they have 
had fine fun, ending with a good swim in the mill 
pond. They are very good boys, aiming to give no 
more trouble than necessary. Mary C. Whitall, 
with Sadie and Madge, went from here to Atlantic City 
this morning. They expect to come back to-morrow, 
and go. home on Second day. So the coast will be 
clear for you on Third day, for we shall need a little 
time to fix up and rearrange, and get The Barracks 
ready, as we want you to stay here awhile before going 
to Atlantic City." 

The Barracks, which held so prominent a 
place in the life at The Cedars, was quite 
a unique building. When the place was 
purchased there was a long bowling alley on the 
lawn, which our grandfather thought might be 
put to a better use, and be transferred into a 
cosy cottage to receive the overflow from the 
large house. He accordingly arranged a 
nursery at each end, and a dining-room and 



140 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

parlor in the middle, the latter enlarged by a 
bay window. He added a roomy kitchen, and, 
over all, built another story, with bed-rooms. 
When completed it was found to be very 
comfortable, and quite large enough for two 
of his daughters, with their families, to live in*. 
They called it The Barracks, because of the 
delightfully free and unconventional life they 
lived there, and neither children nor grand- 
children can think of it without many pleasant 
recollections of the home thus provided by the 
loving care of the dear grandparents. At its 
familiar name, pictures rise before our mental 
vision of the parlor, overflowing with children, 
books and toys, kittens, dogs and parrots ; the 
piazza shaded by apple, pear and cherry trees, 
which, at the expense of a few missiles from 
"the boys," furnished a lunch near at hand ; the 
surrounding lawn, worn bare in many places by 
the constant tread of little feet ; the hammock, 
the croquet ground and the grape arbor, all 
near by, where we passed many a delightful 
hour. 

The following letters especially recall scenes 
at The Cedars : 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 141 

To H. W. S. : 

" The Cedars. 
" My dearest H. : — It is intensely warm here, but 
yet, in this shady spot, and with the breezes that reach 
us, we make out to be pretty comfortable. I think I 
shall get father ready to go back to Atlantic in a few 
days to tarry for a night or so. I do not feel any 
necessity to stay on account of the children, they seem 
to get on so nicely. Gracie and Alice and Daisy and 
Ray are nicely watched, and the good long nights and 
late breakfasts are good for them. Dear little Ray 
says she is very well except her usual complaint, the 
headache, but I do not think it is very bad, or she 
would not enjoy her play so much. They do not 
play violently or excessively, but gently and happily. 
The three boys have left The Barracks, and sleep and 
eat here, and we would rather have them than not, 
and if we go to Atlantic for a day or two this week, 
we should wish them still to do so. The girls like 
to have them, and say they are no trouble, just as good 
as when we are here, only they have more fun when 
they go to bed, which they are welcome to, when we 
are not by to hear it. They are all certainly very good 
children." 

To H. W. S. : 

" The Cedars. 

" The clocks, both great and small, have just struck 



142 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

ten. The mail has come — two letters for thee. The 
one from Carrie I took out of the envelope, without 
reading a word, except her name, and that she did not 
expect thee to answer — sensible woman that she is — 
and that she wanted ' The Christian,' which I have 
just wrapped and endorsed for her. I trimmed off all 
I could, to make one stamp take all — it is well to have 
a frugal mind, and save at the spigot, and then you 
may sometimes open the bung. Mary has been read- 
ing, but now she has put on her sack and sallied 
forth for a walk in the lawn, and seems well content. 
Logan is amusing himself variously, and as happy as a 
king ; — and here I laid down the pen and went about my 
proper business, and after about an hour I inquired for 
Mary. No one had seen her, or knew anything about 
her. The girls had not seen her ; Walter had not seen 
her about his haunts ; the Bones had not seen her pass 
by there to the woods ; James said she had not been in 
the garden. I felt all ovcrish, and thought of Charlie 
Ross, and made a stir. Sallie thought she had gone 
over to Linden, and she and Logan concluded to walk 
over and see. So off they started, and at the gate 
they were screaming " Mary," and I was sitting on 
the piazza, when up walked Mary from toward The 
Barracks, with her face all aglow with her quiet enjoy- 
ment of gathering flowers, and her hands full. She 
ran a few paces and called them back. She said she 
had no thought of going out of the lawn, but she 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 43 

sauntered down and went past Dobbs' and the mill, 
and on to the railroad, and to Cuthbert's corner, and 
gathered wild flowers, and had a good time generally. 
They all concluded then to go to the woods, and have 
just come home with ferns and Autumn leaves, and 
insects and things — and a very cunning one Logan is 
now watching crawling down a leaf or branch of oak 
leaves. He certainly must be designed for a Bugologist" 

To H. W. S. : 

"Atlantic City. 

" Beloved Daughter : — Thou art so very good in 
writing, and thy letters so very interesting, that I am 
sure thou should be well supplied with all the informa- 
tion which we have to give, which is generally a 
repetition of the old tale of abiding love and the deep- 
est interest in all that concerns you. However, one 
can hardly take up the pen without remembering that 
' The mercies of the Lord are new every morning! " 

" The Cedars, 7th month, 28th, '74- 
" The above was written a week since, and I think 
I must have been going to say how many blessings 
we have to recount, and not the least your combined 
health and prosperity, and that we may hope to have 
you here with us so soon. We shall receive you 
at The Cedars most gladly. It would be far nicer 
than to go into the City — Town folk must wait. I 
came up from Atlantic yesterday, where Mary is 



144 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

settled in with all her children but Harry, who goes 
to-day with James and family to Newport. It is 
deliciously pleasant here to-day. A refreshing shower 
last eve has cooled the atmosphere, which thou mayst 
remember is sometimes very warm ; and the birds are 
singing, and the precious quiet is not uncongenial to an 
old woman past seventy-one. But she would like to 
have it broken by a " little Ray," flitting about with 
her youngest doll in hand, or " Curly Wig," with 
steadfast step, pursuing some definite object or plan, 
pretty well digested and arranged in her own mind, or 
Logan among the flowers, pursuing a butterfly, and 
Mary sitting in a tree reading, ready to respond to the 
dinner-bell, which, if dear grandpa comes home at the 
usual time, will quickly ring. Whitall and John 
Thomas went to Atlantic this morning, taking Annie, 
and the phaeton from Germantown in the freight train. 
It will gladden Minnie's heart, as she greatly delights 
in horsemanship, and the drive along that beach, close 
to the dashing waves, is grand. No doubt some one 
has told you of the strange work the wind and waves 
did this summer, or were permitted to do, for not a 
sparrow falls to the ground without our Father's 
notice, and even the very hairs of our head are num- 
bered, so we may believe He was there, with purpose 
of love and mercy." 

From her earliest years our grandmother was 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 145 

deeply attached to the religious society in which 
she had a birthright membership, and in all the 
work connected with it she took an especial 
interest. When a young girl, she often wrote 
down from memory the sermons which par- 
ticularly interested her, and among her papers 
are many such notes, made in later years. As 
an overseer of the Western District Monthly 
Meeting, she faithfully performed her duties, 
and was much beloved. Toward the young 
people she felt especially drawn, and had a 
word and a smile for even the little children. 

In the year 1872, she was appointed one of 
the Yearly Meeting's committee, to visit the 
meetings and members throughout Philadelphia 
Yearly Meeting. For this service her loving, 
Christian spirit well qualified her. Another 
member of this committee has often spoken of 
the deep impression made upon his mind by 
her words of loving and tender solicitude for 
the young Friends, spoken during these visits 
and at the meetings of the committee. He thus 
writes: "She well exemplified the gathering 
spirit of the Gospel ; there was nothing about 

her which tended to scatter from the truth. 

10 



I46 MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 

She dwelt upon the inclusive aspects of religion, 
rather than upon the exclusive, and seemed 
especially to realize the force of the injunction : 
1 Feed my lambs.' " 

In a letter to her daughter Sarah, a friend, 
now living at a distance, thus writes of the 
place our grandmother filled in Twelfth Street 
Meeting : 

" The last generation of Friends in Philadelphia 
numbered many strong, earnest, lovely Christian men 
and women, whom we delighted to honor in their 
lives, and whose memory we cherish. The Twelfth 
Street Circle was especially dear to me, and among 
them thy parents are prominently remembered. I 
believe only the great assembling about the throne 
above can reveal the effect of the earnest, loving, 
gathering influence shed around the young people for 
many years after 1850. During this time, again and 
again in the parlors of J. M. Whitall and of M. C. 
Cope, from forty to eighty were gathered weekly for 
several winters, to listen to choice extracts from the 
Lives of Early Friends, to hear some letter of deep 
spiritual interest, or at other times, to meet some Eng- 
lish Friends who were in the city, each occasion 
closing with a season of devotion. At all of these thy 
mother was a centre of love and sympathy — a sym- 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 47 

pathy whose strengthening influence remains until 
to-day, as taking hold both on the things of time and 
of eternity, and which made us feel how near she lived 
to the Master. 

" Our visits at other times, when a few met, were 
always seasons of profit as well as pleasure. Thy dear 
mother united in an unusual degree the ability to be 
faithful in counsel with such loving appreciation of all 
she could approve, that she bound the circle of young 
people around her with strong and enduring affection. 
Never can I forget her sympathy, when in after years, 
she gave her fellowship and unity in our own religious 
labors, a true Elder in spirit, bearing our burdens, and 
so fulfilling the law of Christ." 

The house at 131 7 Filbert street was always 
open to Friends from a distance, and our grand- 
mother was never too weary nor too busy to 
arrange for their comfort, and to give them her 
sympathizing aid. There was always an extra 
place set at her table ready for a chance guest. 
She never appeared more lovely than in the 
exercise of hospitality toward those who were 
poor and uneducated, but who came with loving 
and earnest hearts, bent on serving their 
Heavenly Master. The tact and helpfulness 
she manifested on such occasions, were as 



I48 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

marked as was the grace and dignity she dis- 
played in intercourse with those of superior 
abilities and intellectual culture. It has often 
excited my admiration to see her preside at 
her table, surrounded by her guests. She 
would guide the conversation to interesting 
and elevating subjects, draw out each one 
on the point he was best able to discuss, and by 
her tact keep all in harmony, never seeming at 
a loss for the right and pleasant thing to say. 

Most cheerfully would she lay aside her own 
plans to forward those of her visitors. She 
would enter into their interests, listen to their 
experiences, and give them her counsel and 
assistance, without any claim upon their sympa- 
thies in return. So assiduous was she in her 
attentions to them, and in her efforts for their 
comfort, that it was marvelous to her daughters 
that she did not break down under it. One of 
them, in robust health, spending a month or 
two with her, followed her around for some 
days, to endeavor to relieve her, but was en- 
tirely exhausted by the effort to keep up with 
her energetic mother. 

Many and dearly loved were her own per- 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 49 

sonal friends, and her intercourse with them 
was a very great delight and refreshment. One 
of them thus writes of her : 

" 8th month, 25th, '84. 

a * * * ^he mem0 ry of thy grandmother is 
precious to me, and I still keenly feel her loss in the 
social circles and meetings of Twelfth Street. 

" I never really knew her until we became members 
of the same meeting, by our removal to the heart of 
the city in 1872. From that time there was a grow- 
ing friendship and unison of feeling between us as we 
frequently met, not only in hours of public worship 
and at other religious gatherings, but as associate man- 
agers of the Widows' Home, on Cherry Street, and 
some social occasions. 

" She was truly a mother in our portion of the 
Church — her faithfulness was so blended with tender- 
ness, her truthfulness and straightforwardness with 
love. Being wise unto that which is good, and guid- 
ing" her own affairs with discretion, she was a safe 
counselor, while her ready sympathy made her easy 
of access to those who were in sorrow, perplexity or 
trouble. In her, faith was enlivened by hope, and 
encompassed with charity, so that her mind is fitly 
expressed in her favorite passage, Phil. iv. 8. 

" To ' use hospitality ' was one of the ways in which 
thy grandparents were careful to serve the Lore 1 . 



150 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

Warm and generous as it was, their hospitality received 
a special grace from thy grandmother. Her well- 
developed form and lovely complexion were most 
becomingly adorned in her always fresh and tasteful 
Friendly costume ; and the sweet dignity of her coun- 
tenance, and unaffectedly gracious manners, made her 
an attractive hostess. Her perfect womanliness, in all 
that is best and dearest in that word, irradiated by a 
life hid with Christ in God, is what impressed me most, 
as it was my privilege to see and know her in those 
later years of her stay on earth. 

" My daughter loves to recall one little incident in 
her life. The day I left our home for a sojourn of 
unknown length in the British Isles, Mary Whitall 
sent her an affectionate note with a beautiful bouquet 
of flowers." 

One of our grandmother's greatest pleasures 
throughout her later life was her friendship with 
Eliza P. Gurney. Their intimacy began on the 
return of the latter from England, and her 
settlement in Burlington ; and, as long as 
their bodily health permitted, they frequently 
exchanged visits. They especially enjoyed 
their intercourse at Atlantic City, where 
their cottages were not far apart. Here 
the visits were chiefly made by our grand- 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 151 

mother who was the more active of the two. 
These occasions were so frequent that on one 
of them, a little grandson, having been asked 
where she was, replied: "Oh, she's on the 
track." This greatly amused our grandfather, 
and was also much enjoyed by our grand- 
mother and her friend, and became a family 
by-word, so that when the question: " Where 
is grandma?" arose from the loving group at 
the sea-side cottage, the answer would be play- 
fully and often truthfully given, " On the track." 

In our grandfather's memoir are described 
the religious meetings of Friends that were held 
at Storm Tide, and afterward at Eliza P. Gurney's 
cottage, and for which a meeting-house was 
finally built. Their united interest in these meet- 
ings, in which Eliza P. Gurney was called into 
much faithful service, and the deep sympathy 
which our grandmother felt in the spiritual exer- 
cises of her beloved friend, were an additional 
bond between them. 

When together, they presented a truly 
attractive picture. They were two unusually 
lovely and noble looking women, and the 
simplicity of their Quaker garb, added to the 



1'52 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

charm of their appearance. Their delight in 
each other's society was great. I remember 
well with what responsive brightness they 
enjoyed each other's witty remarks, and how 
full their conversation was of liveliness and 
affection and almost youthful enthusiasm, temp- 
ered with the grace and dignity of their mature 
years. They always gave each other the 
warmest welcome, and their parting embrace 
was full of tenderness and love. They main- 
tained an active correspondence, some extracts 
from which will be found interesting : 

Mary Whitall to Eliza P. Gurney, at Burling- 
ton : 

" Filbert Street, 12th month, 14th, 1864. 

" My beloved friend : — Thy letter, so full, so over- 
flowing with kindness, came to hand to-day, and I 
know not what to say, or how to thank thee as I ought 
for either the sweet, precious letter, or its most bounti- 
ful accompaniment. It will, I believe, gladden the 
hearts of some of the lonely and desolate ones — some 
even of the Lord's poor, who may be found in garrets 
and in cellars ; and thou, my dear friend, mayst take 
comfort in remembering the text : ' Inasmuch as ye 
have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, 
ye have done it unto me.' We expect to commence 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 53 

after New Year's, the Mother's Meetings, once a week, 
and to sell the women, brooms, soap, etc., at half price. 
The winter, or the passage through it, looks serious 
and difficult for a certain class ; — and to how many 
thou hast extended a helping hand. Go, beloved one, 
rest sweetly and comfortably on thy bed, while others 
are saying of thee, if thou art not of thyself: ' She hath 
done what she could.' " 

To Eliza P. Gurney — on the receipt of the 
gift of a Christmas turkey : 

"12th month, 23d, 1864. 
" My very dear friend : — A noble bird came to 
our door to-night, and though it sang not a note, nor 
had a feather upon it to show which way the wind 
blew, we felt pretty sure that, could it have told its own 
tale, it would have said : ' I came from a lady whose 
heart is full of kindness, whose especial pleasure it is 
to dispense most largely, and who withal is most fertile 
and ingenious in devising ways and modes of doing it, 
and she sends me to you as a kind remembrancer.' 
Our heart's response would be : ' Thou speakest truly; 
and tell the lady who sent thee forth on this little 
mission of love, that thou found favor and grateful 
acceptance, and that the friends to whom thou came, 
taking an enlarged and extended view of her many 
acts of true sisterly kindness — the alms-deeds which 
she doeth, the naked which are clothed, the sick 



154 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

whom she visits — said that surely, it being a truth that 
he which soweth bountifully shall also reap bounti- 
fully, true riches will be hers at the ingathering of the 
harvest.' Then it was whispered : ' There are other 
certain treasures and gifts which have been liberally 
bestowed upon her, which she may not so willingly 
dispense. Tell her gently not to withhold her choicest 
gifts, her best treasures, but remembering " The Lord 
loveth a cheerful giver," to say with one formerly, " I 
will run in the way of thy commandments, when Thou 
shalt enlarge my heart," for " therein do I delight." ' 
And then the friend with the bird in her hand said that 
she knew nothing much anyhow — save most certainly, 
that she did not practice the little she did know. 

" Well, beloved, thoughts of thee were stirring in 
my heart's depths before thy silent messenger came to 
arouse them. I seemed to fear thou wast sick and 
rather sorrowful, yet, I trust, looking forward with joy- 
ful hope, leaving as much as may be the things which 
are behind and pressing on. There is so very much 
to induce thee to dwell in the shadows of the past that 
I marvel not that thou shouldst fondly linger there, but 
the word is ' Press forward.' " 

To Eliza P. Gurney, at Burlington : 

" Philada., 4th month, 5th, '66, six o'clock A. M. 
t " My dearly beloved Friend, whom I seem 
hardly to have heard of for months, or communed 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 55 

with, so stinted and unsatisfying has been the inter- 
course to my longing mind. But when I read thy 
letter to Charlotte yesterday, which she kindly allowed, 
it went to my very heart. I said to my inner self, 
' Well, if the day will not give me a few minutes, I 
will arise before the sun,' and so here I am, dear one, 
at six o'clock in the morning, as bright as a lark — 
though that thou wilt not discover — and full of the 
tenderest love for thee ; a love certain and sure, that 
very, very often takes me in spirit to thy side, where I 
have often found myself of late, tarrying with the 
deepest interest and sympathy. I could but feel there 
was a more than common fullness — the daily touching 

visits to dear J ; the engrossing cares and anxieties 

which will sometimes press ; the gone forever of that 
strong, loving arm, which was given thee to lean upon 
so tenderly and confidingly that years cannot fill to 
thee the vacuum and desolation. But the dear 
Saviour, the friend who sticketh closer than a brother, 
has been so near, has been so abidingly with thee, 
has said to thee, ' The very hairs of thy head I have 
numbered,' that there has been even at seasons an over- 
flowing cup, and no lack, and thus it will be to the end. 
As a loving, most tenderly cared for' child, thou wilt 
render willing service, even if the work should seem 
hard. But how my pen has run on ; and why do I 
write thus ? I cannot tell ; only, when writing to thee, 
that goes forth which comes uppermost. 



I56 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

" Since I returned from Baltimore I think I have 
never known anything to equal the occupancy of eveiy 
moment. Our three dear daughters have all been 
here for a short time ; dear mother all the time, who, 
with her feebleness and failing sight and hearing, pre- 
sents a strong claim for far more than she gets — and 
then this committee. Some of the capable, the useful, 
the qualified, keep some of us poor things going about 
with them until the flesh is weary, even tho' the spirit 
may be refreshed and animated in witnessing the con- 
descending goodness of the great Head of the Church 
in giving His loving, gathering presence. I do believe 
that it is a work that the Lord has owned and blessed ; 
and some of the laborers have seemed to receive a 
fresh anointing for the service. S. B. has surely been 
called of the Lord, and equipped from his unfailing 
treasury." 

Eliza P. Gurney to Mary Whitall, (no date) : 

" West Hill. 

" My very dear Friend : — The promptings of my 
heart to reply to thy precious little note, just received, 
are too strong to be resisted. It breathes in every 
line that heavenly charity 'which rejoiceth not in 
iniquity, but rejoiceth in the Truth.' Surely, my own 
dear friend, the bountiful Dispenser of all good gifts 
has, in an eminent degree, bestowed on thee the bless- 
ing which A. L. Waring teaches us to seek after: 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 57 

" 'A heart at leisure from itself, 
To soothe and sympathize.' 

" Most helpful is thy sympathy to me, and heartily 
do I desire that in thus watering others thou mayst 
thyself be watered." 

To Eliza P. Gurney, at Burlington : 

" Baltimore, 9th month, 3d, 1866. 
" My dearly loved Friend : — I have been want- 
ing for days and days to write to thee, but we have 
been so very much occupied with our new baby, and 
a very sick child, that it has not been easy to find the 
time. Now, thanks to our kind Heavenly Father, the 
baby is well and flourishing, her dear mother doing 
as well as can be, and Johnnie, the last one who had 
the measles and was really ill, is playing about the 
house, so that we can indeed acknowledge that the 
Lord has been better to us than all our fears. Do we 
not, my dear friend, often find it so ? Mountains of 
difficulties, as we approach them, look high and over- 
whelming, but getting into their midst, we realize, with 
thankful hearts, that the passage through and out of 
them is made more smooth and easy than we could 
have supposed. We should learn to trust and not be 
afraid, or I should. Thou, my beloved friend, has 
learned that lesson. Thou hast been carried over 
billows and swelling seas when the waves rose high, 



I58 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

and the trembling bark was brought up from the very 
depths, as it were. Therefore thou wilt not now dis- 
trust the all-powerful Hand that has hitherto marvel- 
ously led and guided thee, even sometimes to an hair's 
breadth. I have been in very close sympathy with 
thee of late, believing it to be a time of many anxious 
thoughts and feelings, when the inquiry has with 
loving and confiding sincerity gone forth to thy Father, 
'What wouldst thou have me to do?' Truly, thou 
mayest believe that the ancient promise will be fulfilled, 
1 1 will guide thee with mine eye.' 

" What a release thou must feel it to have passed 
from under those large meetings. Yet therein, I do 
believe, there was an appointed service for thy Lord. 
My husband gave me an interesting account of the 
closing opportunity, which he thought greatly favored. 
And I think I must just give thee a few lines from a 
letter of Sally's to her sister Hannah, as a little evidence 
of what their intimate communings are upon the sub- 
ject: 

" ' We went to meeting this morning. Dear E. 
£. G. preached a very, very good sermon, which 
would have greatly interested thee, on the guidance of 
the Spirit. It much strengthened my faith for asking 
for an outpouring. Afterward she prayed for an out- 
pouring of the Spirit very fervently; and the meeting 
was a most favored one.' 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 59 

" It will probably never be known in this world 
where and how the words have fallen, and my loving 
desire for thee as a laborer, a disciple, is that thou may 
go on in simple faith and obedience, and the Lord will 
be thy strength and thy exceeding great reward." 

Eliza P. Gurney to Mary Whitall : 

" Earlham Cottage, 6th month, 9th, 1870. 

" My precious friend : — ' Never more so.' I quote 
thy own words — firstly, because I can adopt them with 
perfect sincerity ; and secondly, because they were so 
sweet and cheering, as well as reassuring to myself. I 
knew not how to thank thee for all the valued letters 
thou hast so generously sent me, but I believe it will 
be some repayment to hear they have been truly 
cordial to my feelings, and have done me good. 
Flowing so freshly from thy loving heart, thy sisterly 
expressions of affection find immediate entrance into 
mine, and certainly I know of no one who has the 
power to transport themselves with pen and paper 
into the presence of their correspondents, so happily 
and so sweetly as thy own dear self — so that all 
distance seems annihilated for the time, and we can 
almost fancy we are speaking ' face to face.' 

" Well, I suppose you are on your way to Newport, 
and to the annual solemnity which is commencing 
there. Oh, may it prove a solemn convocation — a 
season of refreshing from the presence of the Lord ! 



l60 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

My dear love to thy husband, and tell him that his 
wish to have me with you quite stirred up a desire to 
join the party, remembering what a help and comfort 
was your dear companionship eight years ago. Then 
we had our beloved John Hodgkin with us — now, I 
suppose, you have another gospel messenger, less 
known, but not less worthy. 

" * * * The recital of thy ' dream ' tendered my 
inmost heart. It is a singular coincidence, but some 
two weeks ago I had the sweetest dream about thy 
own dear self, and dearest H. C. Backhouse, or rather, 
it was sometimes one and sometimes the other — but 
always so affectionate and motherly. I have often 
thought there was a strong resemblance in some points 
between you, and this, perhaps, has had a tendency to 
bind us together more closely." 

Eliza P. Gurney to Mary Whitall, after the 
death of Anne Tatum : 

"Atlantic City, 9th month, 14th, 1870. 
" My much loved friend : — I have not written to 
thee since the redeemed spirit of thy precious mother 
took its flight to one of the many mansions of the 
Father's house, prepared for this trembling, but trust- 
ing believer by her blessed and merciful Saviour, 
whom, not having seen, she has loved through a long 
life of faithful dedication. She has now received, as 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. l6l 

we reverently believe, the end of her faith, even the 
salvation of her immortal soul. She was, indeed, a 
diffident, shrinking christian, but who could come 
into her presence without a realizing sense that an 
atmosphere of holiness encircled her, that the alabaster 
box had been broken, and the feet of the Saviour 
anointed — for the odor of the ointment filled the room. 
Truly her path was that of the just, ' shining more and 
more unto the perfect day.' " 

To Eliza P. Gurney at Burlington : 

" 1872. 

" My precious friend : — I am so troubled to hear 
from some one at meeting this morning, that thou sent 
the carriage in yesterday two or three times for me. I 
really had no idea thou wouldst so kindly expect me, and 
there just seemed that fullness which could not easily 
be passed through, and I am so longing to see thee. 
Please do not expect me any certain day, for I am just 
now even more uncertain than a preacher, for they are 
generally allowed to do the things they think right, 
and I hardly am. I was casting round in my mind 
whether I could not make an impromptu visit of an 
hour or two to-morrow, when a friend came up and 
said : ' We have arranged for two or three visits — at 
ten, twelve, and four.' Third day is to be spent at 
Germantown, in visiting several families there, but I 
hope this week will find the work nearly completed ; 

11 



1 62 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

thou wilt understand that I am but one to accompany 
other Friends, but I can gratefully acknowledge it has 
often been to my instruction and my humiliation — such 
a canopy of love has seemed to spread over visitors 
and visited — such ability given to some of our Friends 
to labor for the good of souls !. S. Bettle and others 
have seemed especially qualified and called to the 
service, and we may hope the blessing of the Lord 
may rest upon it. The middle of the week we shall 
have four Westtown girls here to get their final fixing 
up, and so, until after they go and thy little band have 
departed too, I fear I shall hardly be able to see the 
beloved ones of West Hill. 

" I have followed thee, beloved one, in thy journey- 
ing oft down to the cottage, going home again, hardly 
knowing how to leave the dear, suffering one ; sitting 
down in the parlor, often alone, and with a full heart. 
Then, mentally, have I drawn very near thee, and 
longed to be really with thee, and then have I rejoiced 
in the assured belief that He who hath been with thee 
in some seasons of sore affliction, and so wonderfully 
upheld thee, so comforted and consoled thee with His 
presence and His loving kindness, would be and was 
very near thee now — giving thee, as it were, afresh His 
everlasting arm to lean upon. Therefore thou needst 
not fear, but, committing thyself and the beloved 
departing one unto Him, rest from all anxious care." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 1 63 

The following letter of encouragement was 

written in reference to the religious meetings 

held in Eliza P. Gurney's parlor, at Atlantic 

City: 

"The Cedars, 6th month, 24th, 1872. 

" My dear, precious Friend : — So sweet are my 
memories, and so continually do my thoughts turn 
toward thee, that it just seems as if I could not help 
taking up the pen to say a word or two. I thought a 
great deal about thee yesterday, and I seemed to feel 
that you had a very good, solemnly-gathered season 
together, and I was almost afraid that it would be 
oppressively large. Didst thou not afresh realize that 
He whom thou dost love, honor, and desire to serve, 
was a present Helper in the needful time ? I do most 
truly sympathize with thee in the weight and exercise 
these meetings bring upon thee, and yet entirely be- 
lieve it is all of Our Heavenly Father's ordering. He 
has set before thee an open door, and it is His will 
thou should enter in and labor. The field is large, 
even sometimes when the numbers may be few. ' Trust 
in the Lord.' 

" ' 'Tis enough that He is nigh, 
He will all thy burdens bear, 
He will all thy wants supply.' 

" As I look back a little, (as those letters may afresh 
have led me), upon thy life's pathway, with all its 



164 MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 

varied experiences, its rich joys and blessings, its keen, 
bereaving sorrows, the calls to service, the strength 
and wisdom given to perform them, I believe thou 
mayst well say, ' Hitherto the Lord hath helped me,' 
and having had large experience in the way in which 
He has led thee, of His great goodness — be ready to 
add, ' I will trust and not be afraid.' 

" Well, I had better not go on in this preaching kind 
of way, but mind my own P's and Q's, but somehow I 
seemed to feel that if I were thee, I could be right good, 
but as / be I, it is very hard. But there is but one 
source of strength, one fountain set open to all, ' And 
if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father.' 
Isn't that a wonderful truth ? 'An advocate with the 
Father ! ' Dear Hallie is with thee, and I am so glad. 
She will be a comfort to you all. Perhaps she will 
read to thee the ' Essay on Baptism.' And ask her 
please to give her opinion in the matter — whether 
there is not a want for just such an exposition of our 
Quaker views. I have a great opinion that the relig- 
iously concerned young people have often a very clear 
appreciation of the needs of their day and generation; 
therefore I listen to them with respectful deference. I 
do not think we elderly Friends could do without the 
young, and they might possibly miss us. Richard 
Jordan used to say he liked children for Elders — the 
young anyhow — so I will ask Hallie and Annie about 
your meeting on First day." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 65 

To Eliza P. Gurney, on her return to Bur- 
lington, from her summer home at Atlantic 

City: 

"The Cedars, 9th month, 17th, '72. 

" My beloved Friend : — I just feel. as if I must send 

thee a few words of loving salutation from a heart 

that is full toward thee, and can really rejoice that 

thou art settled in at dear old West Hill. I have 

followed thee from room to room, from thy chamber 

to the next, with a sense that there was with thee at 

times a feeling of solitariness. But I mentally place 

myself beside thee in thy large chair, with such a 

sweet realization that, tho' sitting alone, thou hast 

most precious companionship, the tenderest sympathy, 

even the drawing very near of Him who has said, ' / 

will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.' * * * Just 

here the sweet and truly acceptable package of letters 

from West Hill came from the mail, and thy own 

precious, penciled lines, beloved, seemed to touch my 

very heart." 

To E. P. Gurney, at Burlington : 

" 1 3 17 Filbert Street, 2d month, 15th, 1877. 

" My precious Friend : — I should not certainly 

begin a letter to thee, just as the sun is going down 

and sending its beautiful rays into thy parlor window, 

where the queen is sitting, not ' counting out her 



1 66 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

money,' but giving thanks in the remembrance of all 
the ways by which the Lord hath led her, but that I do 
want to send the enclosed letter, left under my charge 
to forward to thee. It is not designed for many per- 
sons to see — only prudent people, like thee and me. 

" Just think of all the privileges we have just had in 
J. B. B.'s ministry, and from house to house, too, in such 
a loving, tender way — so like his dear Master — ready 
to put a healing and soothing hand upon the wounded 
and the sick and sorrowful. I consider my appre- 
ciative period and day to have been sixty years, and I 
do consider it to have been an exceedingly interesting 
period, and notwithstanding all the troubles and halt- 
ings in our own little church, I have been thankful to 
live in these sixty years — not thankful that things 
have been and are just as they are, but thankful for 
the marvelous evidence of the continued loving kind- 
ness of the Lord, and the abounding manifestation that 
His tender mercies are over all. Ah, don't I remem- 
ber the period thou alludes to, and the remarkable 
men of that day, and their ministry, and their writings ! 
It was a privilege to live then, and I have felt it." 

To Eliza P. Gurney at Burlington : 

" 1 3 17 Filbert Street, 2d month, 16th, 1877. 
" I am really glad to find myself actually seated with 
pen in hand, and at liberty to make the inquiry : ' How 



MEMOIR OF MARY WH1TALL. 1 67 

is it faring with thee, beloved, in this truly wintry 
weather ? ' That thou art sheltered and warmly housed, 
I am sure — and quietly and peacefully trusting, I doubt 
not ; while often realizing in thy own experience that 
He who is Lord over all, ' maketh the outgroines of 
the morning and evening to rejoice,' and giveth thee of 
that peace which passeth understanding. 

" 2d month, 24th. 
" It is even so — more than a week since this letter 
was commenced, and here it is, just as I laid down the 
pen. And now, at a most beautiful sun-setting, I take 
it up again, fancying I can almost see thee, looking 
out at the western windows, enjoying it. He who 
sends the clouds and the rain giveth us also very many 
things richly to enjoy. In a moderate, suitable degree 
I enjoyed a ride in the Park this morning, after meeting 
with my dear J. M. W. and S. W. N. It did look 
beautiful, with the bright sun shining upon it, and all 
so pure and white ; but yesterday Hannah and Walter 
would have us go in an old, rickety sleigh, and it was 
so cold and windy, blowing everything the wrong way, 
that their idea that we would enjoy it very much proved, 
in my case at least, an utter fallacy. Did I not take a 
crazy sort of a sleigh-ride once with thee, or thee with 
me, in which we concluded we had quite finished in 
that line ? Surely, now I have come to the end of 
such fancies. But really, to get into a warm, close 



1 68 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

carriage, as we did to-day, and get fairly amid the 
trees and beautifully white-covered plains and hills, 
was enjoyable. I would recommend thee to try it; 
but don't ask me to go sleighing with thee, please. I 
have graduated. 

" I am sure I have never told thee how much I 
thank thee for the picture of our beloved friend, J. B. B. 
Oh, how often I longed for thee during those rich and 
blessed times, when he was sojourning in our midst — 
and I do think the sweet savor of the good ointment 
spread amongst us, still remains. We are often per- 
mitted to feel such a canopy of love spread over our 
gathering together, that it would seem nothing would 
or could blow it aside, and the services are in such 
sweet accord, as it seems to my ears — not very,discern- 
ing ears, it is true, but they have been told to open 
widely for the good." 

To Eliza P. Gurney : 

" 1 3 17 Filbert Street. 
" Have I never told thee how much I enjoyed ' Sister 
Birbeck's letters ? ' I now realize what she must have 
been to thee. And the letters led me often to ' The 
Journal,' at different points, where I could not go 
without feeling thee so closely near that it was touch- 
ingly enjoyable, The allusion to Wm. Forster's death 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 69 

took me to his Journal, and it seemed almost at times 
like being in another far-off world. * * * Dost 
thou remember our going with thee to Baltimore, to 
meet Josiah Forster, after he had buried his beloved 
and honored brother, and how touchingly he welcomed 
thee, and kissed thee, as if he felt he had now met 
with one who could understand all his feelings of sor- 
row and bereavement ? It was very interesting to me 
to have the whole thing so recalled — the large circle in 
the evening at Dr. Thomas', and again at Isaac Tyson's 
— and the meeting on First day, with Josiah Forster 
and thyself, sitting side by side — and the precious 
meeting it was ! — and our morning Bible reading at the 
hotel, in that cozy little parlor. All seemed to rise up 
so vividly before me. But, alas ! — no, I recall the 
alas, — but from that little gathering so many have 
been taken away that we cannot but feel bereft. The 
three Friends of the Committee, Dr. Thomas, Margaret 
Cheston, Hannah Ann Tyson, and so many others — all 
gone ! But ' Blessed are the dead who die in the 
Lord.' We must believe this, unwilling as we are to 
let them go." 



CHAPTER V. 

1 874-1 880. 

OUR grandparents, in their later years, 
were surrounded by an increasing 
group of happy young people, who turned to 
them as an unfailing source of joy and love. 
As The Cedars in the summer time seemed 
overflowing, another cottage was purchased at 
Atlantic City, and here the children and grand- 
children came, in groups and in families, to 
enjoy the health-giving breezes, and the 
pleasures of the sea-side. Sometimes the 
grandparents would go there alone, for a little 
of the "precious quiet" which their advancing 
years seemed to require ; but generally two or 
three of the grandchildren would soon be invited 
" to enjoy it with " them. There are few of us 
who cannot remember walking up the street to 
the cottage, after a dusty journey, greeted with 
the sound and smell of the sea, and, best of all, 

the sight of our beloved grandma, waiting on the 
170 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. I^I 

piazza, with her bright and loving welcome. 
Many were the pleasures of Idlemere, and with 
its name are also connected most sacred and 
touching memories. There it was that our 
grandfather's failing health became perceptible, 
and there was the scene of his last illness. 
There, too, came our grandmother, in the lonely 
years that followed, when, with declining 
strength of body, but ever-increasing loveliness 
of spirit, she seemed quietly waiting for her 
own time to come. 

It was in the year 1874 that our grandfather 
showed symptoms of broken health, but from 
this first attack of illness, he seemed almost 
entirely to recover. In the summer of the fol- 
lowing year he had a second and much more 
serious stroke of paralysis, and from that time 
never regained his former health and vigor. A 
few extracts from a brief diary kept by our 
grandmother during 1875, Wl ^ recall to those 
who knew her, many precious memories of the 
bright and useful current in which her days 
were passing by, when they were shadowed by 
the declining health of the beloved companion 
of her life : 



172 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

"Second month, 22<d, 1875. — Committee at the 
Meeting House in the morning. Went to Burlington 
in the afternoon, and out to West Hill. Had a lovely 
visit with dearest E. P. G." 

" Twenty-third. — Went to Quarterly Meeting ; dear- 
est E. P. G. preached a most excellent sermon truly 
in the demonstration of the Spirit, and with power; 
dined with cousin R. W. A., and several dear relatives, 
most interestingly and satisfactorily." 

"Third month, 1st. — A. B. came for a little respite 
from study and pressure of Haverford. A very nice 
young man." 

" Third month, 2d. — Went down to the Baltimore 
depot, to meet dear M. W. Thomas and Johnnie, and 
Allen Jay; the latter en route for England on a visit 
of gospel love." 

"Third month, 3d. — Our week-day meeting small, 
but the dear Master preciously near. Allen Jay 
ministered with great power. The text : ' None of 
these tilings move me] etc." 

" Third month, 4th. — Allen Jay left us this morning, 
going on board the Ohio at eight o'clock We had a 
sweet meeting last evening in our parlor. Prayer and 
praise ascended, and much interesting converse — and 
such a precious sense that the Lord does draw very 
near to those who trust in Him before the Sons of 
Men." 

" Third month, 5th. — A very snowy, stormy day. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 73 

Dear sister S. Tatum here a little while. Have been 
busied hither and thither, yet turning often with a 
precious recollectiveness to our Father in Heaven, who 
is ever willing to listen to us when we turn toward 
Him in praise or prayer." 

"Third month, ioth. — Meeting day. Precious to 
assemble together and to wait upon the Lord. And 
He does most mercifully condescend to bless us to- 
gether. May He continue to bless us, even tho' the 
mountains may depart and the hills be removed, etc." 

"Third month, 16th. — 'The meek will He guide in 
judgment, and the meek will He teach His way.' " 

" Third month, 20th. — The gardener came and 
brought a nice parcel of flowers. Have been busied ar- 
ranging them, wondering whether it was right to spend 
so much time, but thought that our Heavenly Father 
had made them and given them to us ' richly to enjoy.' " 

"Third month, 25th. — A quiet day at home. As 
age increases, how one longs more and more for quiet 
and rest. ' Return unto thy rest, oh my soul, for the 
Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.' A very inter- 
esting reading meeting at sister Amy's. Sweet prayer 
from A. W." 

" Third month, 29th. — Came to Atlantic City. Went 
to the Chester Co. House. Found comfortable accom- 
modations. The sea looks very grand and beautiful, 
and the air charming. There are but three visitors 
staying here, and they of an agreeable character." 



1/4 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

" Third month, 30th. — We both enjoyed our night's 
rest. Slept well, and enjoyed our day by the sea, and 
riding a little about the town. The spirit of improve- 
ment seems abroad. Wrote a letter to H." 

" Fourth month, 1st. — Came home — went to the 
meeting of the Board at the Widow's Asylum. Came 
home and found sister S. M. T., cousins A. and 

B. Allinson, F. S., and sister E. Whitall to dinner. 
Enjoyed their company." 

" Fourth month, 2d. — Sister Sallie, sister E. W., and 
two Westtown girls from Carolina here. They seem 
to be nice girls." 

" Fourth month, 8th. — The two girls, with dear M. 

C. Whitall's efficient help, were nicely packed, and 
trunks sent off by express, James and Maiy taking 
them to the train. F. T. King and Bessie, Dr. Thomas 
and Minnie, came in the evening." 

"Fourth month, 13th. — R. H. and his wife arrived 
from the West just as we had finished our breakfast. 
Just before dinner L. C. and another Friend from 
North Carolina." 

" Fourth month, 16th. — A sweet, precious time at 
the morning reading. Our men Friends were both 
engaged in prayer, and we were melted together before 
the Lord at the remembrance of His holiness, and 
under a sense of His condescending, marvelous good- 
ness." 

" Fourth month, 19th. — To dine about one dozen 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 75 

Friends. To tea nearly as many. The meeting opened 
under a very solemn feeling of watching unto prayer, 
and a trust that the Lord was regarding our coming 
together with tender compassion, and spreading His 
wing of love over us." 

" Fifth month, 4th. — My* dearest J. M. W. and self 
came to Atlantic City with H.'s four children and 
Madgie Nicholson. It is a restful place after all the 
cares and anxieties, within and without, attending 
Yearly Meeting." 

" Fifth Month, 6th.— Our beloved M. C. Whitall, with 
her dear father, and sweet little Frankie and his nurse, 
came last evening, and are comfortably settled at the 
Chester Co. House. Their company is a great addi- 
tion to our enjoyment." 

" Fifth month, 8th. — James to dine. Our hearts full 
of feeling about our beloved ones so soon to leave us. 
It seems sometimes as if flesh and heart faileth ; but 
our trust is in Him who hath hitherto cared for them." 

" Fifth month, 9th. — ' My heart and my flesh faileth, 
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion 
forever.' " 

" Fifth month, 19th. — Came to Atlantic City, 4 father 
and I,' to spend a few days, with Maria to prepare our 
meals. It is very pleasant here." 

" Fifth month, 22d. — Bessie and grandpa much on 
the beach. We, Bessie and self, with Annie Kirkbride, 
in dear E. P. G.'s carriage, had a very nice, enjoyable 



I76 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

ride. Went to the Lighthouse. Can get portulacca 
there 1st of Sixth month. A pleasant call at Earlham 
Lodge. We are going to sit down in E. P. G.'s parlor 
to-morrow morning, to wait on the Lord together." 

" Fifth month, 23d. — We did assemble about ten 
o'clock, and a precious season it was. The text, the 
promise of our Lord, ' Where two or three are met 
together in my name, there am I in the midst of them,' 
was truly verified. Dearest E. P. G. was enabled to 
bring before us the blessed truths of the everlasting 
Gospel with power. With grandpa and Bessie on the 
beach in the evening." 

" Fifth month, 24th. — On duty at Widow's Asylum 
next week. Don't forget ! Another lovely ride with 
dear E. P. G., and down on the beach twice with my 
husband, greatly beloved. I think my walking facul- 
ties must be improving." 

" Fifth month, 26th. — The Cedars. The birds are 
singing melodiously, and it is deliciously quiet. How 
congenial to advancing age is quiet and repose ! Went 
in to meeting this morning." 

" Fifth month, 27th. — Went in to the city and to the 
Widow's Asylum. It was a comfort to see so many 
old ladies so comfortably cared for." 

"Sixth month, 15th. — A deliciously restful, quiet 
day, busied in getting trees trimmed, etc., and enjoyed 
it. What a beautiful world our dear Lord has given 
us for a tarrying place in our short pilgrimage ! " 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. I J J 

"Sixth month, 16th. — Went to Philadelphia — our 
Monthly Meeting ; brought home with us our dear M. 
C. Whitall and family ; James came in the evening ; a 
great pleasure to have them with us. William and 
Sally came in for a little while." 

"Sixth month, 17th. — A pleasant day. The dear 
children do seem to enjoy in a happy, quiet way this 
retired country place." 

" Sixth month, 22d. — Rode into Haddonfield and 
bought some clay for the children to mould, and to 
amuse themselves with. It took nicely." 

" Sixth month, 27th. — Rode down to Park Plain. 
Just a year since we were there, and had a sorrowful 
although very precious family meeting — our dear 
brother William lying cold and lifeless in the adjoining 
room. His end was peace. In this we may still 
rejoice and give thanks." 

" Seventh month, 8th. — A quiet, pleasant day at The 
Cedars. The dear children running about under the 
shade of the trees enjoying themselves, are a pleasant 
sight. ' He hath given us all things richly to enjoy.' " 

" Eighth month, 14th. — Came down to Atlantic 
City ; found all our dear children well, and it is very 
pleasant to be with them. Twelve grandchildren here. 
Seven of Mary's, four of H's, and Whitall." 

" Eighth month, 24th. — Father went to the city, and 
H. also. The weather cool and cloudy. Dear father 
was rather fatigued by the journey." 



I78 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

" Eighth month, 26th. — A very pleasant day. We 
did not go to Philadelphia to meeting. Father walked 
up to see G. Elkinton, who was not at home. He 
seemed rather weary." 

" Eighth month, 27th. — Telegraphed for James, who 
came, to our great comfort. Dear, precious father 
does not seem so well to-day. S. P. and others called, 
but did not see him, though he was in the sitting;- 
room, close by. It did not seem best." 

" Eighth month, 29th. — Dear father much more 
poorly. James and Walter carried him upstairs, and 
Drs. Agnew and Reed were called in after meeting — 
an attack similar to the one about this time last year, 
only more severe." 

" Eighth month, 30th. — Our beloved very ill. Sleeps 
a great deal, and does not appear to suffer much. 
This is such a favor. We think Dr. Reed understands 
the case, and we must, we can trust our dear one with 
the Great Physician of value whom he loves, and 
whose he is. Dear Sallie came down and spent the 
day." 

"Eighth month, 31st. — Our dear invalid very much 
the same. We are hoping and fearing, not daring to 
ask for aught but submission to the Divine will. He is 
so sweet and patient that it seems that the Lord has 
indeed ' made his bed in his sickness.' The Doctor 
and M. W. Thomas came this evening; also dear 
Sally." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 79 

" Ninth month, ist. — We have no improvement to 
record, but may make mention of the goodness of the 
Lord. The dear children have all been here together 
to-day. Though their dear father says but little, it is 
a great comfort to him to have them. . None could 
have had a better father — so tender and kind." 

" Ninth month, 2d. — Dr. Thomas and James went 
up to the city this morning. We miss them much. 
The three sisters are here, which I am sure is a com- 
fort to their father, though he says but little — such is 
the drowsy, heavy character of the disease." 

" Ninth month, 3d. — Dear Mary went home to 
Baltimore, hoping to return next week. From day to 
day there seems but little change. The dear Lord 
sees the end from the beginning ; but whether it be for 
life or death, all will be well." 

" Ninth month, 4th. — Our precious invalid passed a 
comfortable night. Our Heavenly Father is dealing 
gently with him, and with us." 

" Ninth month, 6th. — A pretty trying, low day ; the 
weather very warm, but good is the Lord and greatly 
to be praised. He does support and keep our dear 
one in such a sweet, submissive spirit." 

" Ninth month, 8th. — Our precious invalid more 
comfortable than sometimes. He enjoys the morning 
reading. Hannah read a sweet Psalm, and then 
prayed, kneeling at her father's feet; it seemed a 
cordial to him." 



l80 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

" Ninth month, ioth. — A great storm, and change in 
the weather — very cool. Our beloved invalid pretty 
comfortable. James came to-night — a great comfort 
to his father, but we do not see any change that looks 
very favorable." 

"Ninth month, nth. — Still the same lowish, slug- 
gish condition of the system, and the same patient, 
quiet spirit. Surely the ' everlasting arms ' are under- 
neath. James went home this A. M." 

"Ninth month, 12th. — Dear Sallie came down this 
morning, to our comfort. Not any of us at meeting, 
but we heard they had an excellent one. S. M. and 
dearest E. P. G. greatly favored." 

"Ninth month, 14th. — Our beloved one has had a 
more comfortable day, and we can but hope there is a 
little improvement ; but our rejoicing is with trembling. 
We would be submissive to the Divine will." 

" Ninth month, 15th. — Went over to see our precious 
friend E. P. G., who has been such a true sympathizer 
and helper in this time of trial. She could not come 
to us, and I went to her as to a bosom friend." 

" Ninth month, 1 6th. — Came up from Atlantic City. 
Our precious invalid bore the journey wonderfully, and 
with James' and Hannah's kind care and help, it was 
performed with but little difficulty, and it is such a 
privilege and comfort to be settled in our city home." 

" Ninth month, 18th. — We are indeed greatly blessed 
to have everything in readiness for us. Our home so 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. l8l 

comfortable, and dear father improving. What shall 
we render unto the Lord for ail his blessings?" 

"Ninth month, 19th. — Our invalid makes a little 
progress daily. Sleeps comfortably. He has had a 
sad shattering, but the Lord is dealing gently with 
him and with us." 

" Ninth month, 23d. — Took a nice ride in the Park. 
Dear sister Amy went with us. The weather is very 
fine, and the bracing air seems to suit our invalid." 

"Ninth month, 25th. — Cousin R. was comforting in 
her ministrations and prayer, after our morning read- 
ing, in the chamber of weakness and feebleness. Oh, 
may the Lord bless and sanctify this affliction to us 
all. ' Nearer my God, to thee, nearer to thee, e'en 
though it be a cross which leadeth me.' " 

" Ninth month, 28th. — Father went down to the 
office, and we took quite a long ride afterward, and 
enjoyed it." 

" Tenth month, 3d. — Went to meeting. Felt it a 
great privilege to get there again, after an absence of 
five weeks. A great blessing that my dear J. M. W. 
was well enough to leave. J. B. Garrett preached ex- 
cellently upon the text, ' Why stand ye here all the 
day idle ? ' " 

" Tenth month, 9th. — We took a ride to the Park 
with Stanley Pumphrey. It was interesting to see 
how thoroughly he enjoyed the autumnal foliage and 
beautiful scenes on the Schuylkill." 



1 82 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

"Tenth month, 17th. — Our meeting very large to-day. 
Many Friends gathering home from their summer re- 
treats, our dear friend S. Bettle among the number, who 
preached to us most acceptably, enlarging upon several 
very lovely texts, particularly ' Let not your heart be 
troubled, neither let it be afraid; ye believe in God — 
believe also in me.' He called the next day to see us, 
and spoke very sweetly to my dear J. M. W." 

"Tenth month, 19th. — Went to see Mary Madara, 
hoping to bring her home with me, but found her very 
sick. Cousin A. W. Murdoch called. Sallie here and 
Bessie. Dear children, friends and neighbors, all so 
kind. Our blessings are many." 

" Tenth month, 20th. — A very nice ride with 
grandpa and grandchildren. The latter greatly enjoyed 
it. They got out of the carriage and took a nice run, 
and gathered some beautiful, bright leaves." 

"Eleventh month, nth. — Friends gathering in for 
the First day School Conference." 

" Eleventh month, 16th. — The Conference concluded 
on the 1 6th, and truly it has been at very many seasons 
a greatly favored time, and we can but acknowledge 
that the Lord has been better to us than all our fears, 
' Oh ye of little faith ! ' it might well be said to us, 
' Wherefore did ye doubt ? ' ' The Lord sitteth upon the 
flood, he sitteth King forever.' " 

"First month, 18th, 187$. — Taken sick with a very 
bad cold." 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 83 

" First month, 19th. — Dr. Smith was called in and 
ordered me to bed, where I was very willing to go, 
and found the quiet rest very pleasant." 

" First month, 20th. — A quiet time in bed — dear 
children and grandchildren coming in and out, full of 
kindness and love — so very precious, and the outside 
world passes and whirls by undisturbingly." 

" First month, 21st. — A call from dear Julia Valen- 
tine, cheering and strengthening. She is a lovely, 
precious Christian." 

" First month, 22d. — Those who were favored to be 
at meeting this morning, thought it was a favored 
occasion. S. Bettle spoke. Julia Valentine in suppli- 
cation. In the evening S. B. on rest, and J. V. on 
peace. J. B. G. a sweet welcome to the new converts — 
and of such we hope there are not a few. My cold is 
giving way — feeling much better; blessings and 
mercies do abound ; but alas, my unworthiness !" 

The history of our grandfather s gradually 
declining strength during the next two years is 
recorded in his memoir. We all remember 
touchingly the sweet and heavenly atmosphere 
about him, as he sat for the most part of the 
time quietly in his chair, awaiting the final 
summons of his Master. With tenderest love 
and anxiety, and constant care, our grand- 



I84 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

mother watched over him. As soon as he was 
no longer able to enter into the varied interests 
which had formerly occupied his time, she too 
withdrew from almost all her benevolent and 
social engagements, and devoted herself to the 
comfort of her beloved husband. It really 
seemed as if she closed the book of her own 
life in sympathy with him ; and from this time 
her one care was to cheer and brighten his 
days, and to attend his slightest wants. After 
some time she yielded to the entreaties of her 
children to engage the services of a capable 
man nurse, but was still unwilling to trust her 
dear one out of her sight, unless one of their 
children took her place. She would never re- 
linquish the care of him at night to any one, 
but with unceasing watchfulness was, even in 
her sleep, alert for the slightest movement. 
Little did we younger ones, for whom she had 
ever the same loving and cheerful greeting as 
of old, realize what it was to her to see the 
growing feebleness of one whose strong arm 
had ever been at her service, whose overflowing 
life had made all bright and cheery about her, 
and whose loving attentions had always been so 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 85 

devotedly offered to her. During these sad 
years, her trust in her Heavenly Father and 
her submission to His will, never failed her, 
and the same spirit of thanksgiving which in 
the past had ever been hers, still filled her 
heart. In the spring of 1876 she thus wrote to 
Eliza P. Gurney : 

" 1 3 1 7 Filbert Street. 
" My very dear and well-beloved Friend : — I 
did long to take up the pen at once, when I received 
thy precious letter, and to tell thee how it went to my 
very heart, as a sweetly soothing cheerer. It does 
seem so long, so very long, since I looked upon thy 
face, glowing with kindness and good-will toward all. 
I am pretty sure thou art not looking any older, but 
thou wouldst see me quite aged. The last twelve 
months have been a marked period with me, with its 
sorrows, and I must surely add, with its many and 
abounding blessings. To have had my precious hus- 
band so truly comfortable this winter, is indeed among 
the greatest. Spending an hour or two in the morn- 
ing at the office on Chestnut Street, is pleasant to him, 
taking him into his familiar occupations and interests ; 
and the afternoon ride to the Park he enjoys, and I 
generally enjoy it with him. It is never difficult amid 
dear children and grandchildren to fill up the carriage. 



1 86 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

Above all, his quiet, gentle, patient spirit is truly 
something to be thankful for, with an abiding sense 
upon our hearts that he is ready for the Kingdom of 
Heaven, where there will be everlasting joy and peace. 
We enjoyed a few days at Atlantic City, my dear J. 
M. W. particularly, and we think he was the better for 
it. We may go soon again. I should think we 
would, only Yearly Meeting is approaching so rapidly, 
and we are looking for some Friends the latter part of 
next week." 

Later in the year, she wrote to the same 

friend as follows : 

" 13 17 Filbert Street. 

" My beloved Friend: — Again I find myself with 

pen in hand for the ever most agreeable occupation of 

communing with thee, though it comes so far short of 

side by side intercourse, that I never feel relieved or 

satisfied when I stop. My dearest J. M. W. is even 

now winding up his watch preparatory to going 

to bed, happily for me in this instance that he always 

does it about one hour before retiring. He has seemed 

very comfortable this winter in every respect. ' Thou 

wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed 

on thee, because lie trusteth in thee' I often think is 

applicable to him, and with thy text, ' The work of 

righteousness is peace, and the effect thereof quietness 

and assurance forever,' about tells the whole truth of 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. I 87 

his experience from day to day. It almost frightens 
me, sometimes, to think of the abounding blessings 
which have been meted out to us in our pilgrimage 
journey, and to know so well and feel so humblingly 
and truly, how very, very far short I have come in 
rendering that thanksgiving and praise which is ever 
due to Him from whom cometh every good gift." 

A few weeks before our grandfather's death 
she wrote again to E. P. Gurney : 

" 1 3 17 Filbert Street, 5th month, 1st, 1877. 

" My truly beloved Friend : — Is it really so, that 
I have never acknowledged that precious letter written 
during our Yearly Meeting week, and which was such 
an especial cordial, in the midst of all the past, present, 
and to come, which will rush in, sometimes almost 
overwhelmingly, amid these gatherings ? However, 
there were some precious seasons, some droppings 
from the sanctuary. 

" My dearest J. M. W. had just before taken a cold, 
which quite reconciled him to remaining at home, 
which was far better for him. I think he has been 
rather failing for the last few weeks, which would 
scarcely be perceptible, perhaps, to any save those who 
are constantly with him ; but his sweet, patient en- 
durance is the same. I think, possibly, we may go to 
Atlantic City in a week or so, hoping it may brace 



I 88 MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 

him up a little. When art thou looking toward going ? 
That might have some bearing upon our movements. 
But I do not look far into the future, but hope I do 
number the many blessings which come daily in our 
paths, and do recognize the call for abounding grati- 
tude. And truly not the least among the many, many 
mercies is the quiet steadfastness of my precious hus- 
band. Yes, as thou told him, ' quietness and assur- 
ance forever,' amid all his endurances." 

In the latter part of the Fifth month, the plan 
of going to Atlantic City, spoken of in the 
above letter, was carried out, and our grand- 
father was taken to Idlemere. The sea breezes 
failed to strengthen him, and it soon became 
evident that his life was nearing its close. His 
sweet and patient spirit seemed to cast a peace- 
ful influence over all who entered the quiet 
household. Our grandmother was wonderfully 
calm as she watched every need of the precious 
invalid, so soon to be beyond her care, and 
showed that her loving and sorrowing heart 
was stayed in true submission on the will of 
God. In the early morning of 6th month, 
1 2th, 1877, the hour of parting came, and within 
the sound of the ocean which he loved so well, 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 89 

and which had been connected with so many 
important experiences of his life, without sigh 
or struggle, his spirit passed from earth. 

When all was over our grandmother yielded 
to the solicitations of her children and went 
into another room, where she lay down, and 
after a time, worn out with watching, fell 
asleep. She soon roused, and missing her 
precious charge, said quickly, "Where's father?" 
and then, recollecting, added, "Oh, yes; it is 
well with him." This sense of gain to him 
seemed thereafter to be ever with her, and 
although missing him more and more every 
day, and often speaking of her loss, not a word 
of murmuring at any time escaped her lips, but 
only praises for blessings past and present. 

The following letter was received from E. P. 
Gurney, and is dated, in our grandmother's 
handwriting, "The memorable morn of the 
twelfth." 

E. P. Gurney to Mary Whitall : 

" My own darling Friend : — ' Precious in the sight 
of the Lord is the death of His saints,' was the sweet 
assurance that was freshly and solemnly impressed 



I9O MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

upon my mind this morning, probably about the time 
the ransomed spirit of the dear departed one was 
entering into rest — ' Joined to the just of all generations 
— washed and made white in the blood of the Lamb.' 
What more could we desire for this loved and honored 
servant of the Lord ? 

" * * * Oh yes, my precious friend, thy sainted 
husband, we cannot doubt, has been admitted through 
the pearl gates into the heavenly city ; nor can there 
be the shadow of a doubt that when thy mission here 
shall be accomplished, you will be reunited where there 
is no more sorrow, no more sickness, no more separa- 
tion, and no more death. Meanwhile, however, I 
know too well the aching void, the unspoken anguish, 
the desolation of thy heart and home, not to feel deep 
and tender sympathy both with and for thee. ' The 
Lord hear thee in this day of trouble, the name of the 
God of Jacob defend thee, send "thee help from His 
sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion.' 'The 
Lord fulfill all thy petitions.' 

" Thou wilt know that my thoughts are continually 
with thee, and I have been dwelling this morning, 
since we heard the solemn tidings, on the wondrous 
love and mercy which have been sweetly mingled with 
this bitter cup — that thou hast been so long and so 
remarkably enabled to minister to the necessities of 
thy beloved departed one, and that you were per- 
mitted to realize, even when utterance failed him, that 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. I9I 

your fellowship was with the Father, and with the 
Son, and one with the other in Him. And now, how 
comforting is the assurance, which I believe is sealed 
upon thy spirit, that the strong bond which has so 
long united you, even death itself has no dominion 
over ! — ' For if we believe that Jesus died and rose 
again, even so them also that sleep in Jesus will God 
bring with Him, and so shall we ever be with the 
Lord, wherefore comfort one another with these words.' 

" Since I commenced this note dear S. T. has most 
kindly called, and her sweet, gentle spirit, has been 
truly helpful. 

« * * * g^g |. e jj s me £k a j. thou are surrounded 

by thy loved and loving children, to all of whom please 
offer the assurance of my tender sympathy. I know 
they can not part with such a father, even for a little 
season, without a heartfelt pang — but oh, what con- 
solation there must be for every one of you in the con- 
viction which surely must be yours, that you have 
faithfully performed your loving duty to that sainted 
one, smoothing his passage to the silent tomb ! 

" Farewell, my precious friend, in nearest love and 
deepest sympathy (commending thee to God and the 
word of His saints). I am thy faithfully attached and 
always sympathizing friend, 

" E. P. GURNEY." 

When her faithful ministrations were no 



I92 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

longer needed by her beloved husband, our 
grandmother's health began to fail. For some 
time she was an invalid in the house, and she 
never regained her former vigor. A most dis- 
tressing functional derangement of the heart 
became apparent, so that exertion grew very 
difficult to her, and it was finally necessary to 
build an elevator for her use in the house on 
Filbert Street, where she continued to reside. 
Here she was the centre of a family circle. 
One daughter lived next door, and another 
nearly opposite. Her son dined with her every 
day, and one of her grandsons had his home 
with her. Beside this, she was carefully waited 
on by her faithful attendant for many years, 
Hannah Kehoe, whose loving service provided 
for all her personal wants, and relieved her 
from all household cares. So surrounded, with 
"children and children's children," as she used 
to say, coming in and out, and with her large 
circle of loving and devoted friends, our grand- 
mother had every care and attention, and as 
much society as her gradually declining strength 
could bear. 

The large and pleasant second story front 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 1 93 

room was used for her bedroom, and in its 
quiet retirement she best loved to remain. All 
who entered there will remember her sweet, 
quiet face, as she sat in her rocking-chair beside 
the round table, on which rested her open Bible, 
portfolio, pens and ink. Here, too, were fre- 
quently packages of letters, sent her by E. P. 
Gurney and others of her friends, who knew 
her liking for interesting correspondence. Into 
this room she had also removed our grand- 
father's desk, which she kept for her own 
use. Among the papers found in this after her 
death were many notes, showing her diligent 
study of the Bible, and her loving enjoyment of 
the truths contained therein. She had also 
carefully written down the principal points of 
striking sermons she had heard, extracts from 
the books she had been reading, and poetry 
that had especially pleased her. From early 
life it had been her custom to make such notes 
and extracts, and she still found consolation and 
pleasure in thus occupying herself with her pen. 
There was also a little book containing a num- 
ber of texts of Scripture, as she wrote them 
down day after day, often with some short com- 

13 



194 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

ment of her own. This was the record of an 
experience of which she spoke as being very 
precious, and which was frequently granted to 
her upon waking in the morning, when some 
comforting promise from Scripture would be 
brought vividly to her mind, and would remain 
with her until evening. On one occasion she 
wrote in her diary: 

"Third Month, 12th, 1875. 
" I do thank thee, oh Lord, for bringing such sweet 
texts into my mind — often coming in the first moment 
of waking. Oh, give me strength — compel me to. do 
Thy will, and Thine alone." 

Her fondness for reading still continued, and 
she always had books about her ; but she suf- 
fered much with her eyes and a weak and 
weary feeling in her head, so that she was 
often incapable of mental effort, and could 
only sit resting quietly, not even able to hear 
any one read aloud. The following extracts 
are taken from her correspondence with E. P. 
Gurney, at about this period. 

E. P. Gurney to Mary Whitall : 

(No date.) 
" My own precious Friend : — Thou hast been so 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 95 

continually in my mind and heart, daily and hourly, 
since that solemn day on which I followed thee to thy 
now solitary home on Filbert Street, that I have 
thought it best to be silent, lest I should overwhelm 
thee with my words of sympathy. And I remembered, 
too, that thirty years ago, when under the deep 
' shadow of a great affliction,' all words seemed power- 
less to comfort me, and I could only breathe in secret 
the submissive language, ' It is the Lord — let Him do 
what seemeth Him good.' And oh, the preciousness 
of realizing that ' Our times are in His hands,' and 
that we are never nearer to the Heavenly Chastener 
than when His rod of love is laid upon us, for truly 
' He doth not afflict us willingly,' but ' whom the Lord 
loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every child 
whom He receiveth.' 

" ' The memory of the just is blessed, and will not 
decay.' How hallowed is the memory of the dear 
departed to my inmost soul ! I never can forget his 
many noble deeds of love and faithfulness to me and 
mine." 

E. P. Gurney to Mary Whitall : 

"West Hill, 12th month, 31st, 1877. 
" My Precious Friend : — Thy last sweet letter, con- 
taining the account of thy day at Germantown, glad- 
dened my inmost heart, not only because of its unmis- 



I96 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

takable indication of returning health, but it was such 
a joy to find thou hadst been mixing once again with 
those beloved ones who cherish thee so tenderly, and 
who would so rejoice to have thee under their own 
roof once more. I was also glad that thou hadst seen 
once more the long-loved and justly valued friends of 
earlier years, whose very presence would, I am well 
assured, throw rays of sunshine over thy chequered 
path, and 'tempt thy tarriance ' here a little longer; 
although I can easily believe thou often feels that 
' it were better to depart and be with Christ.' But oh, 
my darling friend, do not forget how needful is thy 
stay to some of us, and for our sakes be willing 
patiently to ' bide thy time.' " * * * 

Mary Whitall to E. P. Gurney : 

"1317 Filbert Street, 1st month, 3d, 1878. 
" My dear, very dear Friend : — The interesting 
package from thee, with that precious letter of thy 
own, would have been returned several days since, but 
I did so want to put a few lines in, that I waited a 
little for ability to do so. I have been looking 
over old letters, and arranging and destroying some, 
until I had suddenly to stop and let my head and 
eyes rest. I hardly know anything more consuming 
to the strength, both mentally and physically — and how 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 1 97 

thou ever didst get through all that has fallen into thy 
hands is really a wonder to me, and I marvel not that 
thou shouldst now be a sufferer therefrom. But thou 
wast comparatively young, and I believe strength was 
given for that special work and service. And a ser- 
vice it truly was for the cause of righteousness, peace 
and love ; and fruit is springing up in many unlooked- 
for places. * * * 

" We miss Samuel Bettle very much from our meet- 
ings, and I fear there is not much prospect of our 
having him with us this winter, and I believe I am very 
far from being the only one that greatly misses my own 
precious husband — although that is not the place 
where I miss him the most, but it is 'where well- 
known scenes and local things, and all but he are 
here.' Yet there is at times a feeling of grateful 
thanksgiving, that he has gone to be forever with the 
Lord, and that the desolated walk is mine, not his. 
But I should not use the word desolate in regard to a 
path, where, with precious children and children's 
children, and so many dearly-loved friends, there are 
abounding mercies continued to a most undeserving 
one. Ah, nothing in my hand could I possibly find 
to bring. 

"* * * Dear sister Amy and I have smiled 
over our mistake about thy gift of the cake. It was 
the result of my awkwardness I am sure, but it all 
ends in love. It may be we are growing old, but not 



I98 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

too old to love thee very, very much, and the dear 

girls and precious young mothers around thee. 

" Truly thine, 

" M. W." 

In reply to a letter received on the anniversary 
of our grandfather's death, she wrote as follows 
to E. P. Gurney and family, at Atlantic City : 

" 1 3 17 Filbert Street, 6th month, 14th, 1878. 
" Dearly beloved ones at Earlham Lodge — 
Precious Aunt Gurney first and foremost — Dearest 
Hallie and all : — I must seem most ungrateful after 
such a kind and loving letter of interest and tender 
memories, not to have sent one visible word of the 
comfort it was to me, to be remembered, just where I 
was — sitting in a low place, although hiding as much 
as possible from mortal ken the depth of feeling. I 
have felt it a privilege to be just here, in this desolated 
house of such loved memories, and the precious chil- 
dren and loving friends have been very kind. I have 
realized afresh that there is One who hath been won- 
derfully gracious toward His weak and very frail and 
erring creature — that He hath not forgotten His loving 
kindnesses, or shut up His tender mercies. ' Great is 
the Lord, and greatly to be praised.' I quite long to 
sit down in meeting with you, and think the middle 
of next week, all things favoring, will find us there. 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. I99 

" The prospect of J. Bevan Braithwaite being 
amongst us in the eighth month, seems like another 
favor to be granted. * * * I know you have seen 
his letter to Stanley Pumphrey, and I am sure you 
must have greatly enjoyed it. Such a power of 
balancing things, showing one the strong side, and at 
the same time recognizing the good in the weaker, is 
something beautiful to behold, and, standing afar off, 
I see it with delighted eyes, and I think with a strong 
desire to look in the same direction. There are some 
depths of thought in that letter, and so much evidence 
of Christ-like feeling, that we may hope the teaching 
will prosper in some way, although perhaps in a hidden 
way, the work of the Lord in the souls of men." 

Even in these latter years of feebleness, her 
loving heart and helpful nature made her life 
a full one. She gave to others freely, of all 
her substance, and especially that costliest gift 
of all, herself. She seemed to feel as if her 
own life were done, and asked nothing of any 
one, but still entered warmly into the plans and 
interests of others. Often, when weary and 
needing rest, she would descend to the parlor 
at the call of some aged or humble pilgrim, 
and listen with sympathetic heart to the trials, 
difficulties, or joys of her visitor. Her friends, 



200 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

many of them the children of those whom she 
had loved in early life, and with whom she had 
shared the interests of the past, showed her 
many loving attentions, and her welcome to 
them was always warm and tender. 

To her children and grandchildren she was 
still the beloved one to whom they turned with 
all the interests of their lives. In return for 
her long years of love and care they strove to 
lighten her every burden, but found that she 
could yet give to them more than they could 
to her. One of her daughters was in very 
poor health, and for awhile confined to her 
room ; and the faithful mother would toil up 
the stairs to visit her, and endeavor to hide the 
terrible effort of breathing that ensued, lest her 
daughter should be alarmed. Afterward, when 
the invalid became able to visit her mother, the 
latter would hasten to the top of the stairs, to 
save her daughter the effort of coming up, 
calling most brightly as she quickened her 
steps: " Don't come up ; I'm coming down." 

The following extract from a letter to this 
daughter, written while at Atlantic City, shows 
how true it was, that, although her bodily 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHIT ALL. 201 

strength might decline, her loving, motherly 
care was still unfailing : 

o 

"8th month, 1879. 

" My dearest : — Here I am, sitting in 

thy old corner, with rocking-chair and cushion waiting 
for thee to come, and if they could all speak they 
would join with me in saying, ' Come, come, come.' I 
did most tenderly sympathize with thee in thy coming 
home without having attained all that we have been so 
longing for, but there is One who sees the end from 
the beginning, and does, we must believe, deal with 
His loving children tenderly, and ' from seeming ill oft 
educes good.' * * * We will hope on and hope 
ever, knowing our Heavenly Father doeth all things 
well. And so it may be thy duty to sit in an easy 
chair and write interesting letters to thy aged [I was 
going to write poor, but my pen was stopped in the 
quick remembrance of the abounding goodness of 
our Father in Heaven, who does so marvelously give 
of His blessings temporal and spiritual] mother and 
to thy family and friends, and be good, and be a 
comforter to many. * * * I will send thee Mary's 
letter, and thou wilt see we are expecting company. 
Rufus took tea here last evening, and had intended 
staying here, but dear E. P. G. would have him — and 
perhaps it was just as well, as I was not able to be 
down stairs the next day. And so we move along ; 



202 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

and we would have a better time if thou wast here, 

sitting just where I am, and I was sitting in my own 

chair. 

" Lovingly, Mother." 

For her grandchildren she had always a 
loving welcome. Her quiet patience added a 
touching grace to the ever-ready sympathy 
which she manifested with the gay young hearts 
about her, for whom life's cares and sorrows 
had scarcely begun. 

An hour spent in her room was never a dull 
nor gloomy one. She had a clever, playful way of 
making humorous remarks, that gave especial 
brightness to her conversation, and she often 
diverted the attention of others from her own 
ailments by her cheery way of making light of 
them. The hopeful answers she gave to the 
expression of sad or desponding thoughts did 
much to dispell them, and she never failed to 
mingle encouragement with the loving advice 
she administered to those who came to her in 
need. 

The future of one of her granddaughters, 
who was soon to be married, much interested 
her, and although feeling in her own heart that 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 2O3 

she might not live to see the event, she was 
ever ready to talk brightly and joyously of all 
the hopes and plans in prospect. She used 
playfully to tease this granddaughter about the 
frequent letters that were written to her absent 
friend, and with her usual aptitude in embracing 
little opportunities for kind pleasantry, one day 
sent her an envelope marked "For Postage," 
and containing ten dollars. 

In the summer of 1879, while she was at her 
cottage in Atlantic City, she was visited by a 
beloved granddaughter who came to take leave 
of her before going abroad. After the last 
kiss was given, the dear grandma stood on the 
porch watching the retreating figure until it 
disappeared from view, — then, turning to one 
standing by her, she said, "I shall never see 
her again." And so it was. Ere the traveler 
returned, the loving one whose thoughts had 
followed her so tenderly, had passed away from 
earth. 

On the day above alluded to, our grand- 
mother made the following entry in her diary : 

" Seventh month, 30th, 1879. — Dearest Minnie left 
this morning. Probably I may not see her again — her 



204 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

tarriance in Europe for two or three years makes it 
very improbable. As she passed out of sight the text, 
* He that keepeth thee will not slumber,' immediately 
arose in my mind, and there seemed a sweet assurance 
to come in, that the Lord would preserve her from this 
time forth, and even forevermore." 

To the same granddaughter a few days 
before she sailed, she thus wrote : 

"Atlantic City, 8th month, 15th, 1879. 
" My dearest Minnie : — Thy letter was very accept- 
able, and I was very glad thou had such a nice time 
with thy friends. I hope you may continue to have a 
most comfortable, enjoyable time before you sail, and 
that the best of blessings may ever be showered upon 
you — in your going out, and in your coming in. The 
coming in is the especially interesting part to me, that 
you may come in wiser and better even than you went. 
' Who is he that can harm you, if ye be followers of 
that which is good?' " 

And again, a day or two later : 

" 5 th day, the 21st. 
" My darling Minnie : — It has been no small trial 
to give up going to Philadelphia this afternoon to see 
thee once more — but every one discourages me. I 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 205 

started out this morning and tried to get something to 
fit up the accompanying box, but in Atlantic City 
nothing could be found ; so I send it as it is, and thou 
can fix it up in Dutchland. I am so thankful this 
storm, this terrible storm we have had, has all passed 
over before you sailed. The ocean here looks as calm 
and beautiful as can be. 

" I am not going to say what I feel or what I hope, 
but we have the promise that ' all things shall work 
together for good ' to those who love and fear the Lord. 
Do, darling Minnie, go to Him in the simplicity of a 
little child, day by day, and oftener than the day, and 
ask Him to take thee under the shadow of His wing-. 

o 

" I cannot and ought not to write more as thou wilt 

perceive, and will only say, I am lovingly and with 

prayer, 

" Thy Grandma." 

During the last few months of our grand- 
mother's life I accompanied her for a week to 
Atlantic City, where she was always much bene- 
fitted by the quiet and change of air. As 
her own cottage was closed, we stayed at a 
boarding-house. She was so feeble at the time 
as to be glad of an arm to lean upon, and to 
those who knew her, in the fullness of her 
strength, she seemed much changed. Even 



206 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

then I was struck with her social gifts, and the 
pleasant way in which she mingled with the 
different groups of people whom we met. She 
could be interested in every one, no matter 
how different from herself in life and opinions, 
and seemed to be a centre of attraction to all. 
Even the colored waiters looked on her with 
especial respect and admiration, while she was 
not without an occasional kind word for some 
of them, which left them bowing and smiling 
with pleasure. I remember well my pride and 
admiration as I watched her, and what a delight- 
ful companion she made herself to me, being 
only too self-forgetful in her desire to give me 
pleasure. 

Very precious are the memories we all treas- 
ure of the last few months of her life. All was 
done that affection could do to brighten her 
speeding days. During the winter of 1879, she 
seemed to grow feebler, was oftener found 
resting on her couch, and was frequently con- 
fined to her bed ; yet many were the helpful, 
quiet talks we had by her side. The little 
notes she sent to some of us at this time, though 
short, and written in a trembling hand, have an 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 207 

especially sweet spirit of love and tenderness 
about them. She used to jot down bright and 
affectionate messages on a small, white porcelain 
slate, which she would send with a pencil to 
her daughter across the street, telling the bearer 
to wait for an answer. Sweetness and good- 
ness, purity and truth, emanated in all direc- 
tions from her presence, and sometimes, when 
she would stand for a moment or two at one of 
the windows of her room, she looked, in the 
sight of those opposite, like the very impersona- 
tion of all that was lovely, and gracious, and 
motherly. 

After the death of our grandfather, the family 
gatherings on New Year's day, described in his 
memoir, were discontinued. Our grandmother 
felt unable to attempt to celebrate the anniver- 
sary as of old, without her beloved companion 
by her side, and her children appreciated that 
she no longer had the strength and energy 
which had enabled her to make these seasons so 
joyous and successful. It was therefore decided 
that the day should be celebrated at the houses 
of her children in turn, with their mother present 
as the central ornament and crown of the occa- 



208 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

sion ; but our grandfather's empty place, and 
the feeling that our grandmother, too, would 
not long be with us, took from our meetings the 
light-heartedness and warm interest of former 
days. On the first of First month, 1880, the 
last family gathering was held at the house of 
her son, James Whitall. On account of her 
difficulty of breathing, she was scarcely able to 
walk from her carriage to the house. We 
feared the exertion would be too much for her, 
but she was so cheerful, and when seated in her 
easy chair looked so sweet and comfortable, 
that we did not realize how near the time of 
parting was to be. She returned to her home 
earlier than most of the company, and the next 
morning sent a bright note to her daughter 
across the way, saying she had received no harm 
from the effort she had made. 

Through all her loving, cheerful interest in 
those about her, it was manifest that in her 
inmost heart there was a quiet looking for- 
ward to the hour as near approaching, when 
she would be called to meet the Heavenly Mas- 
ter, to whom she had sought all her life to 
render loving and faithful service. She made 



MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 200. 

many arrangements in preparation for the event, 
and evidently lived only a day at a time. 

In less than four weeks from her last New 
Year's meeting with us, she was taken sick 
with what at first seemed only a heavy cold, 
but which soon developed into pneumonia. 
During this illness, which was her last, and of 
short continuance, she did not appear to suffer 
much, and was, as usual, a sweet and patient 
invalid. 

Almost the last record of her pen, made just 
before this illness, was found on a slip of 
paper in her well-used Bible. Upon this were 
written the two following verses from Isaiah xli. 
which had been given her by Stanley Pumphrey 
upon his farewell visit, as having special appli- 
cation to her : 

Verse 10. "Fear thou not; for I am with 
thee : be not dismayed ; for I am thy God : I will 
strengthen thee ; yea, I will help thee ; yea, I 
will uphold thee with the right hand of my 
righteousness/' 

Verse 13. "For I, the Lord thy God, will 
hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not, 

I will help thee." 

14 



210 MEMOIR OF MARY WHITALL. 

During her last night on earth, before con- 
sciousness had entirely left her, these two 
verses were repeated to her by one of her 
daughters, when she roused, and slowly and 
with difficulty repeated them herself. 

We had continued to hope until very near 
the end that she might be restored to her usual 
health, but this was not to be. On the morning 
of Second month, first, 1880, surrounded by 
her loving and sorrowing children and grand- 
children, she gently and peacefully passed 
away, having nearly completed her seventy- 
seventh year. 

Her departure left a sadly vacant place in 
many hearts and lives. In the various cares 
and interests that arise, we ever miss her wise 
counsel, her tender sympathy, and her unselfish 
love ; yet we rejoice in the assurance that she 
has joined the spirit of her beloved husband, 
and that, beholding in righteousness the face 
of her Lord, she is satisfied with His likeness. 



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